Author: marilyn

A new ‘today’ has arrived, welcomed by gentle birdsong, our masterful Sun ascending slowly over a family of trees; sky turns from wintry grey to summer blue, warmth replaces coolness, my body renewed after a night of sleep, sits present with this magickal transformation.  We have so much but often we forget.  We live in a paradise, we have a human body, a mind that can be clever and a Heart that loves to feel good.

Recently I’ve been trying to find a question, a question to stimulate something I can feel and ‘see’ emerging… but finding the words to compose it.  I’ve seen how important it is to have the right question.

‘Questions open the doorway to dialogue and discovery.  Questions can lead to movement and action on key issues, by generating creative insights, they can ignite change.’

‘The Art of seeking new possibilities.’

‘A paradigm shift occurs when a question is asked inside the current paradigm that can only be answered from outside it.  It is this kind of paradigm shift, based on powerful questions, that may be necessary to create truly innovative solutions to our most pressing concerns.’  from the The Art of Powerful Questions

It’s not been easy finding this question.  I’ve needed to look at my own assumptions, my own beliefs, desires and needs;  what am I really trying to do.  I know the symptoms but what is the question that will take us to the solution.

I can talk in ways of the Patriarchy and the Sacred Feminine, the old, the new and our current evolution into a higher state of being.  But its simple words I need, ones everyone can understand.

The ‘symptoms’ I notice is that we’ve grown accustomed to the ‘problem’.  Just take a wander through Facebook!  Yes, I feel it’s important for it to be acknowledged, but not to keep our focus on it, our focus is much more powerful than we often understand.  We hold the power of creation in our very cells.  We’ve lived and grown through the Age of Patriarchy,  spanning back thousands of years through our history, we’ve all been conditioned and affected.  Unknowingly we take on this focus.  It’s understandable, but now requires a different focus.

It’s a powerful time of transformation, of evolution, a time of re-discovering our humanity.  We’re being called back to our heart, we’re being reminded of our need for love and peace.  We’re experiencing the changing of an Age.

Where we focus, our legs will follow.  Where we allow our eyes to rest, we take that energy into ourself.  A new focus is required, to bring about a new world.  How do we do that?  What would be the question?

Use the energy of this potent Eclipse time to take you where you want to go.

‘The power to step into the next phase of our destiny will be available to those who work with these energies’  Cathy Pagano

Burning away our Patriarchal conditioning, how do we move into the energy of the Sacred Feminine?

(maybe that’s the question…)

lotsa luv…. marilynxxx

What a great year it’s been… yes, I know it hasn’t always appeared that way.  But can you feel the growth?  I can, and I’m excited, really excited.  The possibilities are unfolding and we can be a part of the new beginning.  Out of the ashes, the phoenix flies… the purpose of this year, to be transformed.

2014 began with a Super New Moon, on New Year’s Day.  Pluto the Great Transformer sat with our Sun and Moon… an auspicious beginning.  Pluto Lord of the Underworld rises to gather all that’s rotting and decayed, placing them on the great fire… where new life will rise once again.

Yes, it’s been rugged at times, confronted with the past we’ve carried for so long…  no more time for it now.  The present requires us all to be on board, we have a life to live, to celebrate, to enjoy…  our love is much more powerful than we know.  We hold the power of Life, of Love, of regeneration and renewal… connected to our source, we have the power to change our world.

I’ve sure been feeling it, the passion that is.  It feels so good.  Like a raging fire within, it sets me alight with love.  I feel it’s power… I’m so grateful that I have an anchor to hold me steady.  Power is a mighty force.

Life is calling… can you hear her?  Calling each and every one of us to connect to our centre, our Heart, our Love… this will save our world.

As we journey through the last quarter of this powerful year, much love and grace is present… time to join our love together.  The great circle of humanity.

Have a great October… with both a Solar and Lunar Eclipse, a big energy month.  Venus, Goddess of Love and Beauty and Uranus God of the Sky and Heavens impregnate these Eclipses with their powerful energy … an innovative, progressive and heart centred month… love brings freedom, enjoy.

lotsa luv

marilynxxx

‘Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better’

Albert Einstein

Not long back from a big walk in the ‘forest’.   A beautiful Spring day,  cool breeze from the south-west keeps the temperature down, cloudless Big Aussie Sky, stunning blue backdrops a valley of green, the rain has been.  Flowers are blooming, colour fills the garden.  In between two full weekends, needing to take it easy, rest and rejuvenate; the jobs can wait till next week.  The garden is strewn with debris, drying leaves and branches in piles everywhere, some left where they were cut from the bush or tree.  A big white winter left heaps of pruning days, I’ve spent a week so far.  Then there’s the shed, constructed by the last owners, it’s been up for nearly twenty years.  The country is home to white ants, that’s where they live and eat; the shed has obviously been visited over the years, so time to start pulling it apart.  As well as piles of leaves and branches drying brown in the sun, there’s piles of wood, blackened by stump oil and sheets of grey tin scattered on the newly green grass… my normally tidy garden has disappeared.  I’m preparing Mahalia for the next caretaker, I feel energised and positive… and looking forward to the next chapter.

It’s been very quiet on the forestry front, no cars or trucks… wondered if they’d finished and gone.  I’ve only walked up there once before, not a pretty site, acres and acres of dead leaves and branches, with thousands of tree stumps smeared with Glyphosate, the only remaining evidence of a forest.  It’s a horrible sight.  As I walk through the debris I take my focus to Mt Lindesay, I have no desire to feel bad.  He stands with such majestic presence, towering over the land, our local Guardian.  He’s one of many peaks in the McPherson Range, the ancient remains of the Focal Peak Volcano, that erupted about 24 million years ago.  I keep focused on the sky, the distant mountains and valleys, the trees that remain, but  I can’t help thinking  ‘why’, why do they have to do things this way?  Oh yes, I know we’re at the end of a very long cycle, one that’s lost its way, a time where common sense has disappeared from the stage.

Now, I’m not a farmer, I grew up in the city, but it’s not difficult to understand how nature works… not much differently than us.  We’re all made from the same Life.  These trees were all part of a Forestry Plan, well actually it was a financial plan, an alternative to paying tax.  They bought up local farms, they had plenty of money to spend.  They leased even more land, they planted many thousands of trees.  Of course they all went bust, so farmers were left with these thousands of trees, ones unsuitable for the area and planted far too closely together.  After twenty years some are still very spindly.

What happens to the soil?  Some local guys reckon it does it good, opens up the soil…. they have their story.  How can it be good?  Mono planting over thousands of acres, with rumored genetically modified seeds, then cut them all down and poison the ground, hundreds of acres of sloping land, run off, erosion etc… well, as I said I’m not a farmer, but I can see what happens, you don’t need to be a genius.  But they all reckon it’s good.  My god.

But I’m feeling good, and intend to keep it that way.  I’ll continue to focus on what I can do, what I can support to create the change we so badly need.  I continue to send my love and support to all life around me, I continue to keep alight the flame of love that burns inside me.  I believe we can turn it around, yes it’s a big job, but I’m up to it… are you?

It’s time to get behind what you believe in, what is real for you… it’s time for the solution.

My recent birthday card from my friends in a village near by….

A dragonfly came to visit a moment ago; I remember the incredible magick of those days and early evenings in the dam, welcomed by families of dragonflies, flying over and over and over my head as I swam along… it’s certainly been a magickal time here at Mahalia, one I will always treasure.

lotsa luv to you

marilynxxx

What a truly magickal evening, reminding me of how it use to be, often.

A day in the big smoke, leaving home just after 7am to catch the 7.30am bus to Kyogle.  The bus proprietors, the Watson’s, have been ferrying people back and forth, from Woodenbong to Kyogle and return… since the roads were dirt and extra winding.  Passing through the upper most tip of the Northern Rivers, lush paddocks and grazing cows. the few surviving dairy farms.  Around one bend a most startling sight, Mount Lindesay towering majestically over the surrounding inhabitants, Mt Barney not far behind. The Border Ranges sit with beauty and purpose.  Such a special valley.

Kyogle is the closest town, it’s from here you catch a bus to Lismore via Casino.  From home to Lismore, a three-hour journey.   Lismore’s only an hour from Byron Bay and Mullumbimby and even closer to Nimbin, my favourite place to sit and sip a soy latte chai is the Dragonfly, the Bank is pretty groovy too, people look familiar, similar to me.  A long stint up here in the wilds, doing the solo thing, has left me with a growing desire to be with my tribe.  I think it will be soon.

The bus gets back to Woodenbong, a little under three kilometres from my place at Lindesay Creek at 4.45pm… about five when I get home.  I’m usually feeling pretty tired, once I unpack my shopping from the car, just want to have a cup of tea and a sit outside in the wonderful air.

There was something really special happening yesterday, I felt it all day, but once I arrived home it felt powerful.  You know that kind of presence where you feel you can actually cut it with a knife, it was impossible to ignore.  As I said, after a long day in the big smoke, I usually just want to crash!  But I wanted to be outside, breathing in this magick that I could feel so powerfully.

We’ve recently had considerable rain, everyone is pleased… tanks were getting low for some.  The ground is wet, puddles dot the paddocks and roads, trees and bushes drip.  I wanted to sit outside in this magickal air, I wanted a fire.  A confession, the fire ban season has already begun.  After a rugged winter, a month of frost, the grass tinder dry, not much rain for nearly a year, the fire guys were concerned.  But with all this water about, I figured it would be safe.  The fire pit was soaked but the desire to be out there was strong, I thought I’d give it a go.  Back and forth I went to the shed, collecting bits of wood, I was surprised at my energy.  I stacked the fire pit, struck a match, it started instantly.  And then it raged, I mean really raged, the flames shot high, sparks flew, the force of this fire was intense.

Then the images and words came, I hadn’t considered doing a ritual, I just wanted to be out there.  I felt it in my body, the words flowed from my mouth… I experienced old significant trauma, ones that had shaped and formed the marilyn who became, move out of my body into the flames.  The words supported and guided this release, I felt it leave my body, it felt empty, new… I was someone I hardly recognised, lost a very long time ago.  I thanked all for this blessing, I thanked the Ancestors for calling me here, for guiding me, being with me through these years of great healing.  I thanked them again and again, I felt honoured they had invited me here, to this Sacred Space.  I’ve known for days that’s it’s time now, for me to move on.  I asked them to invite the next caretaker, as they invited me.

Rain clouds had all cleared, the first in days… the sky was brilliant, our solar system, stars upon stars upon stars,  neighbouring galaxies, the Southern Cross, the Pleiades, the Milky Way… I saw myself standing on this beautiful blue ball travelling through this wonderland, with all our friends.  I stayed outside till my body began to droop, my eyes wanting to close.

I knew Virgo was special, the Goddess, the Spirit of the Earth… my most favourite time of year, the Virgo cycle.  But I never realised just how magickal she really is.

Happy Birthday to all the Virgo’s… yes Happy Birthday month for me too.

lotsa luv…. marilynxxx

(ps… I also felt her purify the space all around me… thank you dear Virgo)

Rainbow lorikeets forage in the barley mulch covering the garden to the east of the house.  The rising sun above them penetrates the thick fog, bringing warmth to a sleepy world.  Only bird sounds, work in the forest hasn’t started yet.  Cool air touches my knees, the kitchen window open encouraging the morning to enter, I sit with hot chai before my computer.  A smouldering fire is radiating much-needed warmth in the house, Snowie snuggled before it, she’s had her morning roam.  The fourth anniversary approaching, October 1st 2010 at 3.36pm, the birthday of Mahalia, the planned Sacred Healing Retreat.

Back to 2006… my partner often mentioned this place called Woodenbong, a possible place to invest he thought.  Heading back to Ipswich after a few days camping at Brunswick Heads, our favourite spot, we took a detour via Woodenbong.  I remember it clearly.  We stopped at a take-away on the main road, bought a cup of tea and sat at the old wooden table outside.  I glanced around, to the hall across the road, the houses up the street, I wasn’t very impressed, I thought it looked old and boring.  I was still in my swimmers with a sarong wrapped around, that may have been a first in this little village.  Fast forward and a property in Woodenbong was purchased.  I went down a couple of times, spending a few days alone in the house.  I fell in love with the monstrous skies, the abundant bird life and the air, oh the air.  Woodenbong sits near the border of NSW and Qld, mountain country, the air is wonderful.

It was August 2007, Magick Moments, my healing centre was just over a year old.  Prior to the opening of the business, we spent nine months renovating this humble old workers cottage into a stunning beauty.  I’d been feeling a change approaching for a while, a big change; it made no logical, let alone financial sense… I tried to fight it.  I was feeling both restless and unsettled, a vast contrast to the enthusiastic commitment,  time and energy I’d been investing.  I’d put so much into creating this healing centre, I questioned myself again and again, all the usual things.  But the voice kept getting louder…  I kept resisting.   My second Saturn Return was approaching at the same time as a Full Moon Eclipse in Pisces, it sat on my natal Black Moon Lilith, the ancient wound of the Feminine.  I decided to spend a few days alone down in Woodenbong to try to get some clarity on what I was feeling.

The Eclipse was the most magickal I’ve ever experienced.  A blood-red Moon sat in a black velvet sky with stars that seemed to reach to eternity.  No sound, just this magickal air surrounding me.  I sat and watched till I could no longer stay awake, I felt something really profound was happening.

Early next morning, my Saturn Return, I went out to the back verandah, breathing in the luscious air, looking out at the awakening land, the expanse of clear blue above, it hit me instantly.  I could hardly believe what I was seeing and feeling, everything had changed.  I looked at the grass, the birds, the trees, the flowers and I could see that everything had changed.  I even asked them ‘how are you feeling?’, I wanted to know what had changed for them.  I can’t explain it anymore than… everything had changed.  I saw and felt it in everything.  I went in for my computer and attempted to write it down.  I knew I was witnessing something amazing, if only I could put it in words.

I went back to Ipswich, but rather than clearing my head and getting on with business, the voice became louder and I kept resisting.  It was one morning sitting at the breakfast table before going to Magick Moments, it was loud very loud.  It was like a heavy fist banging on the table,  with a voice roaring ‘NOW, it’s NOW’.  ‘ok’ (yes, a whimper in comparison) I said.  I surrended, no mean feat with a Scorpio Mars.  I began the dismantling, it took nine months to pack up both my home and my business.  I knew I had to do what I had been putting off, what was really important to me.   July 2008 I left for Adelaide to spend time with my son.

January 2010 I returned…  to my partner, my cat and all my ‘stuff’ in storage.  My houses sold, I no longer had my own home.  My life in Woodenbong began….

lotsa luv… marilynxxx

Another precious morning, held in the arms of the Mother.   A solitary bellbird sets the high note,  butcher birds and noisy miners add the harmonies.  Such soul soothing melodies.  Heavy mists hide the valleys below and the mountains standing guard at the border, the paddock north of the house fence is the only one visible.  The heavy moisture settles on the straw like grass, softening its dryness, allowing it to bend.  The tanks are full, thanks to this magickal mist.

Sunbeams melt through this mystical cover, bringing warmth and loving.  Life is close, very close, I feel it hold me.  The beauty overwhelms, moisture builds in my eyes.  I feel the love, my chest is tender with its care.  We have so much if only we could see.  Pouring forth, this love is endless, this life such a miracle.  Such kindness, how could it be?  But it is.  Who is the giver of such a thing?  A channel of giving that has no end.  I allow myself to receive, I breathe in this bounty, so beyond my ability to describe.  Tears come.

I feel the release, of all the hurt, generations of living in my cells.  A vision of these fills my screen, I know their purpose, I feel their pain.  ‘It’s you’ they say, ‘here’s where the journey ends’.  My body weak from struggle, is filled with liquid strength, it fills my chest.  ‘Fill yourself with this Life’ they say, ‘breathe it in, allow it to lift you’, ‘it will lift you higher and higher’.  I wipe the tears so I can see.  Such exquisite love that surrounds me, fills me… lifetimes of tears could fall, from this knowing… that such compassion exists.

There’s power in this Super Full Moon, much is happening behind the scenes.  Healing and clearing… the Mother is close, she protects her children.

We need to cross this channel, yes the waters are dark and angry, the seas black and threatening.  Monster waves crash over our small wooden vessel, threatening to sink us.  The captain keeps us focused, he intends to get this boat across.  ‘Stand in the centre’ he shouts, he’s hardly heard over the crashing waves and thunderous skies.  ‘Eyes forward, ahead’, his words can only just be heard, ‘don’t look at the swell, keep your eyes on the horizon’, ‘know you’ll get across’, ‘we’re nearly there’.  The thunder crashes closer,  brilliant rods of lightning burst like ghostly flames across the sky.  The heavy black clouds hang just above their heads, or so it seems.  They try hard not to be afraid.

‘No fear’ the captain roars, ‘there’ll be no fear on my ship’ he reminds his second in charge.  ‘I will bring this ship to shore’.

Uranus is the captain of this Super Full Moon in Aquarius and he knows well the path across.  He understands what is needed, he carries this wisdom.  He uses these brilliant lightning strikes to illuminate the darkness.  He’s supported by the gods.  He will fulfil his mission.

There’s something destined in the air, something significant about to happen.  A chance meeting, a sudden arrival, this Full Moon will change the way we view things.  An epiphany, an awakening… a destined encounter, will open our eyes.  We will see where we are, and what is happening.

The essence of the archetypal Feminine is strong. Black Moon Lilith sits with the Sun, her gift of self-empowerment is transported to Earth through the Sun’s powerful, life giving rays.  Primal Feminine power is all around, its presence palpable, visible to some.  This power is yet to be fully understood.  This is a time of great significance… the birthing of a New Age.

I noticed I was approaching from fear, saw panic lurking.  Where has that come from?  Then I saw just how much fear is in our environment now, it’s spruiked prolifically.  We take it on and do the same.  It really pays to be awake.

I noticed I was approaching from lack, thinking I was being practical.  One life and it’s short, in the big scheme of things, a weeny bit of a second.  And yet we get to do so much…  we get to feel, so many wonderful feelings.  And the others we learn from.  We learn to have compassion for our self, to love our self with all our heart.  We are truly wonderful.

We need to be aware… of what we think and what we say.  What we allow into the Sacred Space of our awareness.

Embracing hope, acceptance and faith, knowing that everything is as it is for now.  With a focus on expansion, infinite expansion.  The desire to contribute, to participate, has been important to me for a long time.  I can do many things, I’m creative, but I really like to contribute.  I think it’s pretty natural for a human being.   It takes everyone to make the whole, the contribution of each one of us, focused on one point… ignites the circle.  And the circle has magickal powers.

I’m writing this on my favourite verandah, the sun so deliciously warm on my back.  For a while I took off all my clothes and let those healing rays flood the surface of my skin, penetrating in.  It was a very cold night and I’ve run out of wood.  I was so cold I kept waking and I had one doona and three blankets on me.  One wool, one cotton and one synthetic.  I’ve had to stay near the Sun today, my body was so chilled.  I’ll hold faith that a Faerie Godmother turns up with some wood.  I’ve done the practical bit, calling different people for over a week but alas no wood delivery yet.  I need the Faerie Godmother, I trust she will arrive.

But for now, the sun is infusing me with life giving rays, his warmth so appreciated in this chilly winter season.  A Willy Wagtail has been flying over my head, he’s looking for a way to get into the house.  One was in the loungeroom earlier today, took a while to find his way out.  They’re looking for a warm spot for tonight as well.  They like to stay warm and cosy those Wagtails.  And now a butterfly, almost brushed my cheek with his wings, he flew so close… golden orange and yellow.  The warm sun must be sending out the signals of Spring already.

There is silence, nature’s silence…  a constant hum, a high vibrational sound so harmonious with our being, it activates our cells, music of the spheres.  I love that silence, it’s so full, so rich, as if the whole universe is present in this moment, it feels endless.

We have been given so much, such a bounty here for us right now.  I need to re-direct my eyes once more…. I wander off, lose my focus.  We all want to be in the very best place, it’s natural.  Well I know it exists, I need to choose it.

Hope you stay warm tonight, or if it’s not cold, just relax and enjoy.

lotsa luv… marilynxxx

The light is infiltrating the dark.  Soft grey mists laden with moisture hug the ground, the valley is hidden from view.  The stars have now disappeared, what an awesome sight they were… these vast open Aussie skies, so clear.  Ahhh.. the first Kookaburra call, now another, from the north and south.  I woke early, I’ve become so sensitive to the sound of machines.  Even when the sound is muted, the vibration still reverberates in my chest.  The machine has started up in the forest, ripping the trees from the earth.

A triple trill pierces the air, was that the Butcher Bird?  So clever they are.  The Kookaburras continue deep in the valley, the Noisy Miners are now awake, all a little sleepy it seems, different from yesterday morning when their singing filled the space.  Sparkling clear air moves swiftly through my nasal passages, exploding in my lungs.  What a privilege to experience such purity.  Oh yes, everything comes to an end.  These last four years I’ve lived here, I’ve been aware how fortunate I am to experience a place so pristine, I understood that things can change.  But that I had the opportunity to witness such undisguised giving of the Mother… I’ve felt very blessed.  This experience will potently influence the remainder of my life, what I do and where I go.

I’ve told some of the story before.  It was October 1st, 2010, 3.36pm as we drove through the front gates of Mahalia.  I’d already chosen a name.  Of course I made a note of the time, a Star Chart would be drawn.  I had a plan, one that visited me for many years.  I’d ‘seen’ the house, I’d even drawn a picture of it,  almost as it is.  I asked myself why I wanted to do this, take on this project… I’d already taken on some significant projects.  My partner was suggesting it may be time to slow down.  With a Scorpio Mars, I listen (well sometimes), but when I get my mind set on something it’s hard to shift.  Determination a key word of this placement, also relentless courage and push.  I recall another of my Father’s favourite sayings ‘there’s no such word as can’t’.  Yes, I know, quite something to live up to.

I was keen to get on with it, preparing the place for opening.  I felt it was needed, that it was time.  I was planning to open a Sacred Healing Retreat.  Having already created a Healing Centre in the city, I had some experience.  Mahalia was the perfect place, not just the physical beauty… the statuesque mountains, tranquil valleys and clear water creeks, but the presence of the land spirits, their presence could be potently felt.  The blue timber house with its generous hardwood verandas on three sides, sat on a hill overlooking the valleys with a clear view to the mountain range… the border of NSW and Qld.  My original surname was Border, I believe a name originating on the border of Scotland and England.  I was back in border country.

The house was large, one massive room perfect for workshops and gatherings.  I had my whiteboard ready.  I was excited, this vision had been with me for over ten years, it was close to being realised.  I employed my partner to do the work, he was an accomplished carpenter, I liked his work.  I wanted the deck extended around the pool and there was fencing to do.  We didn’t have a great history of working together, unfortunately.  He was hesitant, I talked him into it.  It was a lot of organising, in area’s I had little experience, I was the project manager, responsible for ordering what was needed.  I noticed as the weeks went by I wasn’t handling things very well.  I was obviously feeling stressed.  I took myself off to the Ayurvedic clinic in Kyogle to get some help.  I thought I must be run down.  It hadn’t been long, maybe three months into the preparations.  It took me by surprise, I thought I’d been fine.

to be continued…

have a great day, enjoy your breath

lotsa luv marilynxxx