It was going to be another hot one… the humidity’s been cloistering. First the markets… food shopping day. Didn’t wake till 7am… I like to leave for the market by 7.15am.
By second steaming cup of my homemade chai… I was heading for a third. I’ve been so tired. The beginning of this year has been exhausting… at least energetically. But then 2021 came before it… and 2020 before then. No wonder we’re tired.
I got to the market… late, 8.30am… the stalls were almost bare of veggies… well the popular organic ones. Managed to find some greens still remaining… bought some other veggies (my favourite food😃) and fruit.
Plus a good sized container of fresh fish. I’ll have to freeze some.
Leaving the market… I felt abundant. My body posture had lifted… even though my tiredness was there.
I had all this wonderful food… to replenish my stores. It felt so good.
Arrived back ‘home’ about 9.30am. I knew high tide was around that time. Put greens in some water… made sure they were all cared for. The temperature was rising outside. And the bloody humidity! February is the middle of our summer.
Grabbed my swimmers… zinc on my face… all set, out the back, down the rock steps… gosh tide already covering bottom two rows of rocks. It’s high. Wasn’t expecting such a high tide on new moon… well New Moon, Chinese New Year of the Water Tiger… and Lammas, first ‘Harvest Festival’ of the year.
Plus Venus moving forward and Mercury getting ready to. Quite a potent day. In a potent month.
Swam out into the river/creek… a few about. Still quiet… cicadas serenading. Water a lovey temperature. I leisurely begin my swim… while first looking around, taking in all the beauty… the magick abundance that swirls around me.
I get to commune with all of this… while exercising my body. She loves it… feeding all my levels.
It was deep… couldn’t touch the bottom… but by now I’m very familiar with this route across to the mangroves on the other side. I experience it in all different kinds of full tide moods.
I arrive at my special place, I say hello, my heart swells… I swim in. Goodness, I can swim even further… this has only happened once before. With the last king tide. But this wasn’t a king tide… yet it was deep.
I got to swim in even further than then… way, way out the back… I just kept on going.
I saw some larger trees ahead… I so love the trees in the mangroves. They’re so feminine… their curves and twists… their stylish shapes… so perfect.
I stopped… floating, at the first larger tree… then my eye went to another just in front. I gently took myself across… my combo breaststroke/float.
She was gorgeous. She’s a Grandmother Tree… I could feel it. She even had this perfect seat for me to sit on. Over the top of her curved and arched roots… was a flat surface. It looked like it had been created for that purpose… to sit.
I sat with my head on her trunk, my arms around her. I looked out… in circles around me… all the baby trees… there must’ve been hundreds. I’d already gently floated over many on my way to the tree. An extraordinary experience to witness that metamorphosis… the continuation of life. The womb… the seed… the baby. Just mind-blowing to witness. And all having a purpose… while just Being.
A powerful experience of Integrity.
I sat there for ages… just me (human) sitting on the Grandmother Tree, even had a ledge for my feet… way, way at the back of the mangroves. How extraordinary.
The water was clear… the baby trees sparkled green, their heads under water. The fish… two medium sized came close, swam off. Then swarms of tiny fish. It was heavenly.
I find fish to be very curious. I had one down in the Sanctuary… another sacred place for me… follow me as I walked through the creek… for ages. He/she had a very distinctive marking. And the creek (low tide) was very shallow.
Such an awesome experience… meeting the Grandmother Tree. Going even deeper into the womb… that the mangroves are. Sitting with my arms entwinded around her. Witnessing hundreds of sparkling- green baby trees surrounding her… going out in concentric circles.
It’s like I just get a glimpse… and it’s so big, I can’t take it in. But I can enjoy it. I can be so thankful for it. I can feel gratitude flood. I can feel the power of that Love… of that Presence… of that Great Oneness.
A visceral sense of releasing… a stuck, contracted and long held full body breath. Been a bloody long trip around the wheel.
A sense of comfort, protection, family… I’m back in my spot. Man oh man have I needed it. Yesterday felt I could implode… dark mood off the scale. I struggled to keep my head above water.
Wanting to hop on a plane… take me to a deserted isle… where I can be with my tribe.
This world (we’ve made) sure is a mess.
I mean seriously… and we’re intelligent!! Supposedly.
Sun slipped into Virgo as I watched the clock click on 7.35am… a deep sense of relief filled me… a homecoming, right fit, safety… belonging.
Virgo can suffer from allergic reactions to this crazy ‘man made’ world of ours. It’s not her place… despite her exquisite practicality. I guess that’s the thing… she can see through it all. She does her best… she’s created to do good… fix the things not working. None or any of that sub stuff, pretence, lies and cons… made up on the spot. A world of magicians (and not the honourable kind).
It’s been a big year for her. A big year for me. A big year for everyone.
It’s a double home coming for me… as Virgo rules my house of home (4th house along the wheel)… my home and family… my deep emotional core, my depth of knowing… my ancestral connections. Me at the deepest level.
Virgo goes to my core.
Eros ~ God of transformational passion and desire… he takes you on an alchemical journey to find your truth… the flame that burns inside you. Nothing substandard for him either. Only the deepest, wildest, core root activation… will do for him.
He sits at the door of my Virgo house… welcomes me in.
Ohhh Virgo… I’m so grateful you’re you. I’ve missed you… it’s a wild world out there. I’ve almost drowned many times.
Lost in no mans land… is a horrible curse.
I’ve been her trainee… since the time I arrived here. Her standards are high… you just gotta get to the core. The root… the foundation of it all.
The everything… all combined into one.
Frills and pretence will never do… they just gnaw at your gut… causing all kinds of strife.
Ahhhh… Virgo’s digestion
A collective sigh emanates from my every cell. I’m home, I’m home. I’ll make the most of it… having her vibe infused in our atmosphere.
Dear beloved Virgo… welcome, welcome.
We need you more than ever.
We need your gently knowing, your master healing skills, your kindness and care… your power and strength. The Goddess herself has blessed you.
It’s Sunday… astrologically ruled by Sun. Today Sun sits at the critical karmic last degree of 29.
Early morning here tomorrow Sun slides into Virgo… the Maiden, the Vestal Virgin, the discriminator par excellence… the Medicine Woman committed to her craft… the healing presence, the temple goddess. The body specialist.
Her connection to everything bundled into one
Her awareness of the macro and the micro… how deeply intertwined they are
Her clarity and vision… humility and soothing
She’s had a bad rap through patriarchy.
Up and down I go… bit like the tide
I try to distract in the most wholesome way… immersing myself in the healing rays of Mother Nature
it mostly works… lifts me out of the heavy collective soup
I need to be vigilant
call on my Virgo pal… to keep my space sacred
keep out all the riff raff
all the ugly
all the stealing my peace
my connection to myself
What I’ve discovered… as I make my way through the howling winds
the angry mobs
the noise, the noise, the noise
that without me… I have nothing. Worse than death
contemplating such an existence… is horrifying
an emptiness no words describe
I am my saviour… in me I find everything I need
to doubt that… takes me to another level of hell
Trust during these times is so precious
staying close to my Self
and if I let go of the rope just for a moment… I quickly grab it back and hold on tight.
The incredible Sacred Gift of my Self… so knowing, present and complete.
Two years (!!!)… (Wuhan lab leak investigations) since the virus joined us… and spread its cheer… back in August/September 2019.
I remember that time… August/September 2019… it was significant. We were covered in smoke… fires decimating Oz. Even the coast wasn’t spared… It was a devastating time to witness. Month after month it continued. The human and environmental cost was enormous.
I remember that time well. It carved its bloody signature into my emotional body. And from there it went on…
September’s my birthday… a friend and I were heading up the coast… to cross the border (the days when you could)… we were hoping to get to an event that’d been planned.
The highway was chaotic… so many cars being diverted. So much chaos and confusion… and fear. And this was before our dear friend the virus made it into the headlines.
We were driving… the car’s windows closed, masks on our faces to protect us from the smoke. It was still getting in through the vents… and making its way into our lungs.
The daily reporting… scenes so horrific. We’d entered a new land of hell.
My son was in Oz for a short time… so I headed down to Adelaide to spend Christmas with him… and to be with some lovely friends. It’d been too long.
Arriving in Adelaide… descending onto the tarmac… the heat was suffocating. It was hard to breath… the temperature was 46 degrees.
Got to my friends in the hills. So lovely to be with them again.
Next morning… sitting at breakfast… my friend interrupts… ‘that’s smoke’. It was close…
The fires have followed me down
They quickly spread
The chaos, the fear… again
I flew back on New Year’s Day. Welcome 2020. Arriving back I was struggling. It was difficult to walk to the end of the airport where the shuttle was parked.
I waited… hot, overwhelmed, depleted and exhausted… spent from all the drama. The shuttle departed… back to the Byron Shire. What a relief to drive through the green and luscious Tweed Valley… it fed my weary spirit.
Back to Bruns around 7pm… still struggling to walk. Sheer will made it possible… with my heavy bag… back to the cabin.
Christmas in the campground. Filled to the max. I had no energy for any of it.
I never came back to ‘normal’… after that interval of time.
I was someone who never caught colds or flu (all my life)… and if one managed to take hold within 24hrs it’d cleared. 48hrs at most.
But I never felt the same.
Now I had flu like colds that lasted for weeks and weeks and weeks.
When the virus made it to the news… I wondered if I’d picked it up over that Christmas period… hanging out in excessively crowded airports and packed planes.
But we weren’t aware of the virus then.
I’ve never returned to what I was before… maybe we never do
Who knows. Stress itself can have an enormous effect on the body. And the collective emotional presence can be super overwhelming. Lotsa chaos impacts us.
Bits and pieces still coming to the surface.
Our world has changed… and it’s looking like that will continue for some time yet.
What do we keep… what do we release
What makes sense?
Our humanity… our love, our care, our kindness
way too precious… far too expensive
to ever let drift away.
Can we take a few steps back… in our fear, in our collective confusion
Can we just be people finding our way in a new world… a world that will continue to change
Can we respect each other
There is no going back to ‘normal’
that won’t happen
it’s too late now
it’s changed for good
What kind of world do we want to replace it with
Yeah it’s tricky… can we live from kindness and care
So many new choices we need to make…
protect ourselves from the onslaught of attack
Certainly is reminiscent at times… of times way back when
I’d forgotten (not really) how special lockdown can be.
I’ve never forgotten last year… that first chapter of the virus… as lots of things shut down for a while… including most of the planes. It was extraordinary. Witnessing Mother Nature blossoming before our very eyes. It happened in many places around the world.
It put on a special show here in my back yard. It felt like an ‘other worldly’ experience… or that your senses had been activated by an hallucinogen.
Out back of me is Simpson’s Creek… an estuary of the Brunswick River. It’s tidal… but never dry. It’s a special place… with Magick Mangroves on either side. Well on the more human active side of the creek the mangroves aren’t doing that well.
Despite it all it retains its magick.
Witnessing that blossoming during the early stages of the virus back in early 2020… I thought surely we’d never forget. Surely people would never want to ‘go back to normal’ after witnessing this. Not after witnessing this miracle.
Sigh… we forget.
Letting go of what we’ve known is not easy. We create a sense of security in the familiar. What will we have if everything changes, if things are taken away? We hold on. Even when we see our ways destroying the very planet we exist on.
Change will come… whether we let go or not. Some things are much bigger than us.
The kindness of Life allows us choice… gently reminds us, gives us a shove. Tries to open our eyes.
I went for my first swim in the river/creek today… first in months. We’ve had heaps of rain and cold weather this year… and after what seemed like constant rain for months and months and months the river took ages to clear itself of all the runoff and debris.
It’s back… back to it’s most extraordinary self… a colour I struggle to find a word to describe. It’s the palest, see-through, mesmerisingly light green mixed with blue. It’s spellbinding.
We’re in the end of winter here… so water temperature is cool but not cold. It’s wonderful… invigorating and revitalising. It’s magickal.
I look out to a huge open expansive of stunning water… held and supported either side by the sacred mangroves. Two lone fisherman in the distance… one north, one south. A paddler in the distance. The rest just open empty space… inhabited by the special creatures that call it home.
An Osprey glides overhead.
The sky a brilliant blue… above and all around. A scattering of stretched-out white clouds lying low in the south.
Sunlight, light, bright, brilliant and warm.
I wish we didn’t forget. We know (surely some place deep down) we really can’t ‘go back to normal’… I mean look at the latest warning… ‘the highest alert’. Screaming Red.
Will we sit and watch… the destruction of our precious Earth?
Or draw on all our courage and strength… gather together and say ‘Yes’. We can change. We can create a new future.