Category: Uncategorized

The Grandmother Tree💜

It was going to be another hot one… the humidity’s been cloistering. First the markets… food shopping day. Didn’t wake till 7am… I like to leave for the market by 7.15am.

By second steaming cup of my homemade chai… I was heading for a third. I’ve been so tired. The beginning of this year has been exhausting… at least energetically. But then 2021 came before it… and 2020 before then. No wonder we’re tired.

I got to the market… late, 8.30am… the stalls were almost bare of veggies… well the popular organic ones. Managed to find some greens still remaining… bought some other veggies (my favourite food😃) and fruit.

Plus a good sized container of fresh fish. I’ll have to freeze some.

Leaving the market… I felt abundant. My body posture had lifted… even though my tiredness was there.

I had all this wonderful food… to replenish my stores. It felt so good.

Arrived back ‘home’ about 9.30am. I knew high tide was around that time. Put greens in some water… made sure they were all cared for. The temperature was rising outside. And the bloody humidity! February is the middle of our summer.

Grabbed my swimmers… zinc on my face… all set, out the back, down the rock steps… gosh tide already covering bottom two rows of rocks. It’s high. Wasn’t expecting such a high tide on new moon… well New Moon, Chinese New Year of the Water Tiger… and Lammas, first ‘Harvest Festival’ of the year.

Plus Venus moving forward and Mercury getting ready to. Quite a potent day. In a potent month.

Swam out into the river/creek… a few about. Still quiet… cicadas serenading. Water a lovey temperature. I leisurely begin my swim… while first looking around, taking in all the beauty… the magick abundance that swirls around me.

I get to commune with all of this… while exercising my body. She loves it… feeding all my levels.

It was deep… couldn’t touch the bottom… but by now I’m very familiar with this route across to the mangroves on the other side. I experience it in all different kinds of full tide moods.

I arrive at my special place, I say hello, my heart swells… I swim in. Goodness, I can swim even further… this has only happened once before. With the last king tide. But this wasn’t a king tide… yet it was deep.

I got to swim in even further than then… way, way out the back… I just kept on going.

I saw some larger trees ahead… I so love the trees in the mangroves. They’re so feminine… their curves and twists… their stylish shapes… so perfect.

I stopped… floating, at the first larger tree… then my eye went to another just in front. I gently took myself across… my combo breaststroke/float.

She was gorgeous. She’s a Grandmother Tree… I could feel it. She even had this perfect seat for me to sit on. Over the top of her curved and arched roots… was a flat surface. It looked like it had been created for that purpose… to sit.

I sat with my head on her trunk, my arms around her. I looked out… in circles around me… all the baby trees… there must’ve been hundreds. I’d already gently floated over many on my way to the tree. An extraordinary experience to witness that metamorphosis… the continuation of life. The womb… the seed… the baby. Just mind-blowing to witness. And all having a purpose… while just Being.

A powerful experience of Integrity.

I sat there for ages… just me (human) sitting on the Grandmother Tree, even had a ledge for my feet… way, way at the back of the mangroves. How extraordinary.

The water was clear… the baby trees sparkled green, their heads under water. The fish… two medium sized came close, swam off. Then swarms of tiny fish. It was heavenly.

I find fish to be very curious. I had one down in the Sanctuary… another sacred place for me… follow me as I walked through the creek… for ages. He/she had a very distinctive marking. And the creek (low tide) was very shallow.

Such an awesome experience… meeting the Grandmother Tree. Going even deeper into the womb… that the mangroves are. Sitting with my arms entwinded around her. Witnessing hundreds of sparkling- green baby trees surrounding her… going out in concentric circles.

It’s like I just get a glimpse… and it’s so big, I can’t take it in. But I can enjoy it. I can be so thankful for it. I can feel gratitude flood. I can feel the power of that Love… of that Presence… of that Great Oneness.

Much Love 🥰🐠🥰

Sun’s come home 😃😃.

A visceral sense of releasing… a stuck, contracted and long held full body breath. Been a bloody long trip around the wheel.

A sense of comfort, protection, family… I’m back in my spot. Man oh man have I needed it. Yesterday felt I could implode… dark mood off the scale. I struggled to keep my head above water.

Wanting to hop on a plane… take me to a deserted isle… where I can be with my tribe.

This world (we’ve made) sure is a mess.

I mean seriously… and we’re intelligent!! Supposedly.

Sun slipped into Virgo as I watched the clock click on 7.35am… a deep sense of relief filled me… a homecoming, right fit, safety… belonging.

Virgo can suffer from allergic reactions to this crazy ‘man made’ world of ours. It’s not her place… despite her exquisite practicality. I guess that’s the thing… she can see through it all. She does her best… she’s created to do good… fix the things not working. None or any of that sub stuff, pretence, lies and cons… made up on the spot. A world of magicians (and not the honourable kind).

It’s been a big year for her. A big year for me. A big year for everyone.

It’s a double home coming for me… as Virgo rules my house of home (4th house along the wheel)… my home and family… my deep emotional core, my depth of knowing… my ancestral connections. Me at the deepest level.

Virgo goes to my core.

Eros ~ God of transformational passion and desire… he takes you on an alchemical journey to find your truth… the flame that burns inside you. Nothing substandard for him either. Only the deepest, wildest, core root activation… will do for him.

He sits at the door of my Virgo house… welcomes me in.

Ohhh Virgo… I’m so grateful you’re you. I’ve missed you… it’s a wild world out there. I’ve almost drowned many times.

Lost in no mans land… is a horrible curse.

I’ve been her trainee… since the time I arrived here. Her standards are high… you just gotta get to the core. The root… the foundation of it all.

The everything… all combined into one.

Frills and pretence will never do… they just gnaw at your gut… causing all kinds of strife.

Ahhhh… Virgo’s digestion

A collective sigh emanates from my every cell. I’m home, I’m home. I’ll make the most of it… having her vibe infused in our atmosphere.

Dear beloved Virgo… welcome, welcome.

We need you more than ever.

We need your gently knowing, your master healing skills, your kindness and care… your power and strength. The Goddess herself has blessed you.

❤️🧖‍♀️❤️

It’s Sunday… astrologically ruled by Sun. Today Sun sits at the critical karmic last degree of 29.

Early morning here tomorrow Sun slides into Virgo… the Maiden, the Vestal Virgin, the discriminator par excellence… the Medicine Woman committed to her craft… the healing presence, the temple goddess. The body specialist.

Her connection to everything bundled into one

Her awareness of the macro and the micro… how deeply intertwined they are

Her clarity and vision… humility and soothing

She’s had a bad rap through patriarchy.

Up and down I go… bit like the tide

I try to distract in the most wholesome way… immersing myself in the healing rays of Mother Nature

it mostly works… lifts me out of the heavy collective soup

I need to be vigilant

call on my Virgo pal… to keep my space sacred

keep out all the riff raff

all the ugly

all the stealing my peace

my knowing

my connection to myself

What I’ve discovered… as I make my way through the howling winds

the angry mobs

the noise, the noise, the noise

that without me… I have nothing. Worse than death

contemplating such an existence… is horrifying

an emptiness no words describe

I am my saviour… in me I find everything I need

to doubt that… takes me to another level of hell

Trust during these times is so precious

staying close to my Self

and if I let go of the rope just for a moment… I quickly grab it back and hold on tight.

The incredible Sacred Gift of my Self… so knowing, present and complete.

🧡🧖‍♀️🧡

Mother Nature’s a saviour for me… it’s the number one place I feel completely at home. Able to be me. Accepted and loved without hesitation… immediate union, up front and personal.

Merging in the most intimate and erotic of ways

There’s really nothing that compares.

The rest… I struggle at times. Maybe I always have. Singled out to be different as a child… I became familiar with the scene on the other side of the fence.

It’s still that way. It’s always there… this distance, this separation… connected with giant swathes of empty space in between.

Of course everything is multiplied now.

For those of us that operate in a different sphere.

Are we better or worse? Of course not

I remember saying those words to my beautiful boy… when he was only small

We come the way we do… with all our uniqueness… all our specialness

There’s no place for comparison… can’t be

Look at every plant… on this precious Earth

These times are tough for outsiders… the majority demanding their ways to be followed

Leaving no room for the slightest abnormality… ‘we’re all in this together’

well we are… at least on the energetic level

But what we need is as uniquely special as each and every grain of sand.

Love and compassion is what we need… what I need

there’s enough darkness in this world

fighting and war we’ve lived with… from centuries past

we all carry the wounds… lots can’t be seen

So amidst the battle field… can we find a place in our heart

to share love… not damnation

to share compassion and understanding

all the hate, the criticism and division is wearing me down.

Ahhh… when’s the special plane arriving… to take us misfits to our own special place.

You can make up any kind of story you like…

marilyn🧖‍♀️💗🧖‍♀️

Two years (!!!)… (Wuhan lab leak investigations) since the virus joined us… and spread its cheer… back in August/September 2019.

I remember that time… August/September 2019… it was significant. We were covered in smoke… fires decimating Oz. Even the coast wasn’t spared… It was a devastating time to witness. Month after month it continued. The human and environmental cost was enormous.

I remember that time well. It carved its bloody signature into my emotional body. And from there it went on…

September’s my birthday… a friend and I were heading up the coast… to cross the border (the days when you could)… we were hoping to get to an event that’d been planned.

The highway was chaotic… so many cars being diverted. So much chaos and confusion… and fear. And this was before our dear friend the virus made it into the headlines.

We were driving… the car’s windows closed, masks on our faces to protect us from the smoke. It was still getting in through the vents… and making its way into our lungs.

The daily reporting… scenes so horrific. We’d entered a new land of hell.

My son was in Oz for a short time… so I headed down to Adelaide to spend Christmas with him… and to be with some lovely friends. It’d been too long.

Arriving in Adelaide… descending onto the tarmac… the heat was suffocating. It was hard to breath… the temperature was 46 degrees.

Got to my friends in the hills. So lovely to be with them again.

Next morning… sitting at breakfast… my friend interrupts… ‘that’s smoke’. It was close…

The fires have followed me down

They quickly spread

The chaos, the fear… again

I flew back on New Year’s Day. Welcome 2020. Arriving back I was struggling. It was difficult to walk to the end of the airport where the shuttle was parked.

I waited… hot, overwhelmed, depleted and exhausted… spent from all the drama. The shuttle departed… back to the Byron Shire. What a relief to drive through the green and luscious Tweed Valley… it fed my weary spirit.

Back to Bruns around 7pm… still struggling to walk. Sheer will made it possible… with my heavy bag… back to the cabin.

Christmas in the campground. Filled to the max. I had no energy for any of it.

I never came back to ‘normal’… after that interval of time.

I was someone who never caught colds or flu (all my life)… and if one managed to take hold within 24hrs it’d cleared. 48hrs at most.

But I never felt the same.

Now I had flu like colds that lasted for weeks and weeks and weeks.

When the virus made it to the news… I wondered if I’d picked it up over that Christmas period… hanging out in excessively crowded airports and packed planes.

But we weren’t aware of the virus then.

I’ve never returned to what I was before… maybe we never do

Who knows. Stress itself can have an enormous effect on the body. And the collective emotional presence can be super overwhelming. Lotsa chaos impacts us.

Bits and pieces still coming to the surface.

Our world has changed… and it’s looking like that will continue for some time yet.

What do we keep… what do we release

What makes sense?

Our humanity… our love, our care, our kindness

way too precious… far too expensive

to ever let drift away.

Can we take a few steps back… in our fear, in our collective confusion

Can we just be people finding our way in a new world… a world that will continue to change

Can we respect each other

There is no going back to ‘normal’

that won’t happen

it’s too late now

it’s changed for good

What kind of world do we want to replace it with

Yeah it’s tricky… can we live from kindness and care

So many new choices we need to make…

protect ourselves from the onslaught of attack

Certainly is reminiscent at times… of times way back when

some things keep cycling back…

time to create brand new pathways

I hope so.

marilyn💗💗

Thank god for Mother Nature… sanity and presence within a crazy empty world.

We all have our ‘views’… oh yessiree

I’m finding them harder and harder

Is there a way to teleport to that invisible land… the one that’s calling

away from all the madness

where Magick folk can be…

where understanding is generous…

dollops over dollops… sprinkled everywhere

the sigh is huge

my body’s releasing

who knows how much and from when

cells emptying

a smile… that fills me completely

Dark lands no more

dancing… feet kiss the sand

ocean murmurs… playing with my toes

dolphins gather

sharing the joy

Light worlds, Dark worlds… which one do I choose.

We’ve not been here before

in this space

learning as we go…

much is needed

I’m tired and weary… so sick of it all.

And the buried anger…

I cannot surrender my voice

never again…

Centuries have past… to reclaim it.

Teleporting to that special place… where darkness is no more

marilyn💗🧖‍♀️💗

I’d forgotten (not really) how special lockdown can be.

I’ve never forgotten last year… that first chapter of the virus… as lots of things shut down for a while… including most of the planes. It was extraordinary. Witnessing Mother Nature blossoming before our very eyes. It happened in many places around the world.

It put on a special show here in my back yard. It felt like an ‘other worldly’ experience… or that your senses had been activated by an hallucinogen.

Out back of me is Simpson’s Creek… an estuary of the Brunswick River. It’s tidal… but never dry. It’s a special place… with Magick Mangroves on either side. Well on the more human active side of the creek the mangroves aren’t doing that well.

Despite it all it retains its magick.

Witnessing that blossoming during the early stages of the virus back in early 2020… I thought surely we’d never forget. Surely people would never want to ‘go back to normal’ after witnessing this. Not after witnessing this miracle.

Sigh… we forget.

Letting go of what we’ve known is not easy. We create a sense of security in the familiar. What will we have if everything changes, if things are taken away? We hold on. Even when we see our ways destroying the very planet we exist on.

Change will come… whether we let go or not. Some things are much bigger than us.

The kindness of Life allows us choice… gently reminds us, gives us a shove. Tries to open our eyes.

I went for my first swim in the river/creek today… first in months. We’ve had heaps of rain and cold weather this year… and after what seemed like constant rain for months and months and months the river took ages to clear itself of all the runoff and debris.

It’s back… back to it’s most extraordinary self… a colour I struggle to find a word to describe. It’s the palest, see-through, mesmerisingly light green mixed with blue. It’s spellbinding.

We’re in the end of winter here… so water temperature is cool but not cold. It’s wonderful… invigorating and revitalising. It’s magickal.

I look out to a huge open expansive of stunning water… held and supported either side by the sacred mangroves. Two lone fisherman in the distance… one north, one south. A paddler in the distance. The rest just open empty space… inhabited by the special creatures that call it home.

An Osprey glides overhead.

The sky a brilliant blue… above and all around. A scattering of stretched-out white clouds lying low in the south.

Sunlight, light, bright, brilliant and warm.

I wish we didn’t forget. We know (surely some place deep down) we really can’t ‘go back to normal’… I mean look at the latest warning… ‘the highest alert’. Screaming Red.

Will we sit and watch… the destruction of our precious Earth?

Or draw on all our courage and strength… gather together and say ‘Yes’. We can change. We can create a new future.

We’re running out of time.

Heaven is here… it really is.

much love… marilyn 🧡🧖‍♀️🧡

Life feels crowded in… so much swirling… seeking release

wanting to understand

Emotions ~ new and fresh… old and stale

Longings… for closeness, connection

being held

empty worlds, deserted passages

seeking to be home again

Dystopian worlds… made from newly created molds

how will it eventuate? We just need to wait and see

I travel back… to that time in the bath

2020 was preparing to birth… saying goodbye to a bygone era

a special kind of travel it is

evoked by the mystery… said to come from ancient places

records kept in secret

Time travel… going back… and into the future…

some say… this is a reality

We were travelling fast… White Buffalo and me

His purpose sweat from his massive body

Focused in extreme… intent on his mission

me on his back

we were travelling fast

we covered miles and miles… and miles

Tears wet my cheeks… as we moved fast and furious

As my tears hit the ground… they turned it green

I looked behind… everything was green

Further, further… faster, faster… sweat falling from our bodies

we finally made it… at the base of the mountain

White Buffalo… almost there, drove himself to climb the cliff

We arrived at the top… fell to the ground, spent and exhausted

Above our heads a golden arc of Sunlight’s gold

arched across us

‘this is the protection’

My head resting on White Buffalo’s generous belly

we fell into the deepest sleep

I don’t know how long we slept…

but as we did… I heard it all… even in my slumber

everything came crashing down

everything demolished

We woke… and stood

the scene before us… all had gone

Slowly… as in sadness or a trance

I hopped on White Buffalo… we descended the mountain

then slowly… very slowly… we crossed the land

now completely empty

Gentle tears dribbled down my cheeks… viewing the scene around us

the air… it was a new kind of air

we had to learn to breath it

Or we wouldn’t survive

Surrounding us… a barren, empty landscape.

marilyn🧡🧖‍♀️🧡

Feeling a hella’ve lot better since the New Moon birthed (just before midnight here last night).

That was some tricky manoeuvring through that dark and scary passage.

I dropped into some real dark places… revisiting the terror that lusts to paralyse.

Been there, done that… and I beat the bugger.

Just a little one I was… and told it to ‘fuck off’

Maybe the memory… coming through the canal, the moment of decision do I abort or continue?

‘If I can get through this… I can get through anything’ I declared

and I wasn’t even born.

So yeah… I’ve faced some tough stuff

I’ve pulled out my shield and sword

I’ve trusted myself…

a lifetime journey for me

and I’ve triumphed

I can never forget.

The astrologers warned this New Moon could be tough…

well hey… look around

what a f….king mess

No blame… it is what it is

But each and every moment we have a choice

regardless how it seems.

I revisited the dark… as Moon went black

The scant remains of terror still stuck on some cells

the Confusion… the shock

electrifying everything

I remember them well

They came to visit… and stayed

right up till recently

And yeah those little stubborn bits

still vulnerable to being hit

I know they have no place anymore…

I’ve done the miles

I’ve sweat the tears

I’ve extended myself

I’ve been there

I won’t return.

I have myself…

my greatest gift

within this whole celebration of bountifulness.

Pretty soon… it’s gonna be time

to change our ways.

Trust in ‘God’.

Trust in Life

Trust in You…

‘Leave no room for doubt in your mind’

a very wise friend once said to me.

🧡🧖‍♀️🧡