Sweet & Sour Surrender 🌺

November’s nearly always big.  Scorpio can pack a mighty punch.  Pluto’s not known for his gentle bedside manner.  ‘It’s going…’ he booms.  Resistance is not only futile ~ but deadly.   Our body’s on high alert…  our nervous system in bloody shreds;  our gut twisted in metal chords.   Our brain a sizzle… our breath ready to depart. Fighting Pluto is never wise.

I’ve always been a fighter… my innate will is monumental.  It’s got me through some major pit stops… life and death is his domain.   But there comes a time when those weapons need to be placed to the side.  What in our self are we resisting?  ‘Cause it’s always an internal story.

Oh yeah ~ it appears to be attacking from the outside.  And yes there are many things we have no control over.  Most things actually.  Accept for how we feel, what we choose… how we respond and what we walk toward.  In essence the power always lies with us.

We’re all pretty much in the same boat ~ us humans.  At least in our internal worlds. I reckon that’s where the magick lies.  And it’s really truly the time… to let that magick shine.  That potent power that exists within this magnificent body of ours. Right here, right now.

The outside world will rock and roll… structures and systems will change.  They will. There’s possibly huge changes heading our way.  It’s more important than ever… to sink deeply into our self.  Immerse in that deep well of Love and care… of being, of knowing, of celebrating, of rejoicing.  We have everything we need… including the strength to walk through the rough spots.  We’re way more powerful than we think. Time to unveil our magick.

much love ~ marilyn ❤️🌺❤️

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Taking care of our magnetic fields 🌺

That A-board will be with me again in a few weeks ~ out of storage after two years.  Moving and change ~ moving especially, seems particularly sensitive for me and my body.

Is it caring too much ~ feeling too much?  Too much thinking ~ an avalanche of processing.  Way too much, too much… too much of everything.  How does a gentle body contain it all?

I need a lot of chilling.  No wonder they brought me here right by the river… lulled by the ocean, as it embraces the shore.  Virgo Sun, Gemini Ascendant ~ both ruled by Mercury; air ~the mind ~communication, connection, assimilation, digestion, the nervous system.

Then there’s all those bloody Rats… and a Rooster (Chinese Astrology’s Four Pillars ~ time/day/month/year) .  That’s a mighty active vocal creature.  The power of force behind those words.  And yes Rat’s nervous systems are hyper sensitive.

Add all the psychic stuff ~ those ridiculous antennae that pick up everything.  In the minutest detail.  Which of course the mind is incapable of perceiving… so they all just tumble in as feelings and sensations in my body.

Chill, chill, chill.  Grounding to Earth.  Living in my body.  Having warmth and love around me.  Feeling my belonging.  Safe in my environment.  Held, loved, nurtured and caressed.  I/myself requires my focus.

It’s time to re-unite with our body.  She holds the key to everything.

Means slowing down… letting go.  Being vulnerable (that scary word), being open and speaking our truth.  And most of all ~ magnificently caring for our most wonderful self.  Yeah it’s a tall order.  But we’re not going to get ahead with anything less.

These times will not permit it.  These ‘times’ have moved on.  Of course we can’t see it… we can only see the remains of the old.   The physical and energetic have separated hence why we’re all feeling a bit torn apart.  It’s tough on the nervous system.

Evolution ~ the Master of Time moves at the speed he dictates.  We’re either willing participants or we get carried along for the ride… dragged in pieces mainly.

Our body ~ our sacred vehicle… the answers lie within.  It’s really the only place our genius hasn’t yet truly explored.  We travel out and out into space… can we travel in, to an even greater miracle world… inside our body.

The times ahead could be tough for some.  When empires tumble the shock waves reverberate out.  Shock is hard on the body.  We’ve journeyed too far from our centre core… Life/Evolution/The One/Source, has its own ways.  Is propelled by a mega genius intelligence we will never fathom with our intellect.

These are times for humility, acceptance and honouring.  We are a part of the whole ~ but we are not the whole.  Just a tiny drop.  But how powerful, how magnificent, how inspiring… is that tiny drop of everything.

much love ~ marilyn ❤️🌺❤️

 

 

 

Honouring our Moon 🌙

Where does it come from?

This deep well of sadness and loneliness.  Oh yes ~ I feel love and joy.  I understand ~ even if a tad intellectualised, that I can choose.  In this moment I can choose how I want to be… how I want to feel.

Yet ~ when something comes knocking again and again and again… it’s wanting a voice.  It’s wanting space to be seen and heard.

Every part of us is alive ~ has conscious awareness, knowing and presence.  It exists for a reason.  And it cries out to be heard.

Oh yes… Capricorn Moon.  Meaning ~ at the moment of my birth our Lunar Goddess was visiting the sign of Capricorn.  Cappie’s (Capricorn) can be harsh (or so it may appear)… so focused on the goal, on getting there.  So needing to have all the pieces efficient and purposeful.  So needing to manage and direct.

Capricorn is ambitious.  Deep down what motivates him is his insatiable desire for Ascension.  To reach the heights… the pinnacle of his life.  To go where no-one has before.  To leave his mark.  To see his efforts and hours of solid labour manifest in form before him.

We’re more familiar with the earthy nature of Capricorn… his tenacity, solid core measured steps… and sometimes chilly aloofness.  His mind is on the goal.  The climb is steep and can be treacherous.  He knows where he’s going and intends to get there… to plant his flag at the pinnacle… to stake his accomplishment.  He needs to reach the highest point possible… within his evolutionary potential.

But he’s also known as the Sea-Goat… a mystical mythical creature that is half goat, half fish.  So under that firm and seemingly impenetrable exterior is a creature that dives deep in the mysterious world of feelings and emotions.  If only he could express them.  Is that why he’s so focused on reaching his mountain peak?  He needs to find his Shangrila.

Do you know what Moon sign governs your emotional nature… do you understand how to satisfy her needs.  In what ways does she speak to you?  Are there ways in which you can get to know her more?  How do you nurture her?

Feel free to comment below.

❤️❤️❤️ marilyn

Happy Birthday Mum ❤️❤️❤️

What a journey we’ve had… so early it began.  Well of course!  You are my Mother. My creation ~ the first beginnings of me began in your body.  The alchemical process of Life… the seed and the ignitor.

My body formed ~ from a tiny cell.  It grew and grew and grew.  The shell for my soul and spirit… so beautifully formed, held and nurtured in you.

We only know our time.  This place our body stand in time and space.  We can remember things ~ brief impressions ~ thoughts, feelings of before.  But here we stand.

I felt your pain… how early I don’t know.  Maybe as soon as my cells began to feel.

The horrors of war ~ such damage is caused.  The ghosts of former selves returned to haunt.  No escape from their nightmares.  The horrors with them forever.

How far we get off course.  How lost we become.  How fragmented and tortured… our body forever weeping.  For a self that will never be again.

The madness we store within… the atrocities only humans can cause.  And yet there’s the Heart ~ still full, connected to the source of everything.  That spark of eternal ~ divine they call it.  An apt description.

The vibrations of war continue down the line till someone stands and says ‘No More’.  ‘I need myself ~ I can’t live without me anymore.  I can’t live in this place of fragmented frozen haunted nothingness’.

I need to be whole again.

So beautiful your essence ~ your big warm Heart 💜  Your beautiful face… the care and kindness you radiate.  You did what you could.  You suffered like so many ~ in silence.  There was no help… no understanding or solutions.

I know you see me ~ up there wherever you reside… with our family of generations. I feel your support ~ I hear your applause ~ your cheer, your gratitude.  We’re burying the past.

A whole new beginning is shining over the horizon.  I love you so much.

❤️🌺🎂🌺❤️ marilyn

My Heart goes deep 🌺

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S u c h a beautiful morning 😊 Sun’s shining his radiant brilliance.  After weeks of wet it feels so… rebirthing. Sometimes we gotta go really deep to reach who we are.

Covered over ~ layered; deep dark muddy brown.  Self hidden under layers of protection ~ so deep it’s hard to find my self.  I’m so grateful for the training I was guided to.

Often curious ~ I’d murmur to myself ~ ‘there’s gotta be something more’. Relationships haven’t been super abundant in my life but they have formed significant and memorable chapters. Who doesn’t desire closeness and connection?  A dear friend in a storm.  Someone who feels safe and familiar ~ good to be with.  It’s a human basic need.

‘There’s gotta be something more’ I’d ponder. But too embarrassed and shy to raise the topic.  I mean who talks openly about sex?  Definitely not good, respectable girls. Yes there’s the physical ~ the natural pleasure sensations built into the body.  It’s not that though ~ is it?  It’s this hunger for something deeper.  How to connect  at that deep level ~ experience the healing power of intimacy.

Feeling tender this morning.  It was a big coaching session yesterday.  I went down another layer into the depths of me… revisiting times when major decisions were made. That became concreted into my core… influencing and directing every decision I made.

Who I am is what I do.  How I vibrate is what I attract.  How deep can I go if not first within myself?  The sacred chambers of my Heart.

The most expansive ~ the most influential ~ the most central ~ the most all encompassing.  The most intelligent.  My Heart… the centre of my Universe.  It holds, it contains, it witnesses, it guides.  It shines, it glows… it warms.  It sits quietly.

How one moment in time can influence a life.  That a pain, a shock can go so deep it changes my anatomy and redirects my course.  The hardest though ~ the most heartbreaking is it separates me from my self.

It’s tender yes.  It’s soft and vulnerable.  And it’s deep…. so deep.  This Heart of mine has a depth I feel will take my remaining days to mine. I’m super grateful for my trust… that I trust to follow the voice.

The desire for more real, more true, more close, more absorbing.  Uniting with all that is ~ all that’s been so magnificently provided.

❤️❤️❤️ marilyn

I’m excited… and always super grateful❤️

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Ohhhh… dear Snowie (my long time Feline Companion) I miss her so much.  Here she is at Mahalia ~ the Sacred Healing Space we lived for bit over six years.  I left her with a friend (who loved her)… ’cause I had no idea where I was heading.

She knew ~ I knew she knew.  Through the whole moving process ~ over many months, her calm acceptance was at first surprising.  Cats can be easily disturbed by any change in their environment.  Yet through all the upheaval she remained relaxed, calm and accepting.  I knew she knew… that I couldn’t take her with me; even though it broke my heart… I sensed she understood.  Tears still.  Oh Snowie ~ how I’d love to see you again.

Sooooo much has changed since that day I handed her over to my friend ~ day before leaving our sacred space for the last time.   I feel the changes have rippled powerfully through every level of my being.  The first year away was hard… my body really struggled. Moving twelve times in one year!  For someone with Sun snuggled at the very bottom of her birth chart… my own private sacred space has always been crucial for me.  I was doing something I’d never done… stepping out into the complete unknown.

Would I recommend it ~ I don’t know.   Was it necessary for me ~ I guess it was ’cause I chose it and it happened.  I’m kinda strongly guided by my own inner vision and knowing.  I hear and see things sometimes ~ meaning visionary things, voices/messages.  I’m at a stage in my life where I’ve accepted it.  Took a while.  I understood the trait ran in my family… I grew up with it.   It still took a long time to trust and acknowledge it.   Somethings are just impossible to analyse or prove.  Specially for an analytical Virgo😊

I guess this post is a bit for me ~ a kind of acknowledgement and letting go… a kind of chord cutting.  So I can truly step into my next chapter.  I’ve been working hard this year.  Going deep into myself, depth diving into my body and psyche… in the coaching training I’ve been involved with.  So much has changed, so much has re-arranged.  So much has been released.  So much has been accepted.  So much has been healed.  It’s been an enormous year.

Change is hard.  Lets face it.  It is.  We get used to things, we get attached to things.  We identify with things.  And when they’re gone… we can feel lost, wonder who on earth we are.  Big change is huge.  But even though it’s taken me to the edge at times during these last two years… I know it was the only way (for me) to truly discover the depth of myself.  Minus all the baggage, the residues of trauma.  All the dysfunction, missing pieces and cut off bits of myself.  I needed to find them all.  I needed to be whole again.

I’m still finishing my training… and still integrating everything into myself.  Into my body and psyche.  It’s been a really big couple of years.  And knowing things as I do I figure it’s been that way for many people.  We’re living in major times of break down and renewal.  And as everything is one…  we’re all going through it.

What I most love and appreciate about myself is that I luv to grow and evolve… to become more and more and more of who I really am.  And even though I can get paralysed with fear… I’m also super brave and courageous.  I’m really beginning to love and honour myself.  It feels really good.

Much love ~ and thanks for letting me share some of my journey ❤️❤️

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stormy weather continues

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Stormy weather continues ~ ocean sounds wild.  Mother Earth going through changes… reacting, responding to the collective vibrations.

We hold no power over her.  At times she makes it clear who’s in control.  Most times we feel her love… bathed in her kindness, care and nurturing.  But when there’s something she needs to release… like skittles we get dropped off the board.

The power we hold is within our core.  We know right from wrong… we know love, care and kindness.  Those deals with the devil ~ so many piled on his desk.  Lured, seduced… burning for things beyond our reach.  We sign the dotted line handing over our soul.

Everything is one ~ in this great universe of light and sound.  Time and space play out… we’re here for a while… minuscule in the frame of it all.

Will we ever understand what our true nature is… as we stumble and fall, drunk with the desire of lusted power.  How small we are… how tiny our understanding.  How humble our comprehension of the great wonder of it all.

Can we stop and feel… what is calling us.  Can we bend and bow to a greatness beyond our reasoning.  Mother Earth is disturbed… and she’ll react and respond in the ways she does.  She’ll restore the balance on Earth.  Can we do the same?

❤️❤️❤️ marilyn