Author: marilyn

Gypsy Benders

This picture gave me such a good feeling.. . . .wanted to include it in my new day. . . .

I’ve mentioned before how I was told my Grandfather was a Gypsy. . . never did meet him, I guess he was off travelling and exploring somewhere.  But there’s no doubt the Gypsy heritage is in there. . . .gosh, with some of the things I ‘recall’. . . stored deep in my cellular memory.  The way Life works can be a mystery at times. . . .but I love the mysterious.. .. so nothing stays hidden for long!  And aren’t those Benders just the best!  The fabric thing certainly in my genes. . .and strange how an image can spark off so many feelings. . . some that don’t have any connection to the life I’ve lived!

I’ve also mentioned how Mum had x-ray vision. . . .she could see through steel doors. . . .of course it was all a bit of a plaything. . .not taken seriously.  But then there were those dreaded times when a ‘boy’ called to take me out. . . .she’d be the one opening the door. . . .and ‘zip’. . .her gaze would travel up and down, at lightening speed. . . .as she sucked out all the relevant information.  Must have been quite an ordeal for the poor guys.  And then there was my Dad. . .standing on the verandah. . .at the end of the night, as we pulled up outside the house. . . ..well. . .that’s another story!!  No wonder not many guys were brave enough to experience the ‘Border’ ordeal.  I know. . . .no-ones’ life is normal!!

But that ‘normal’ word. . . raises its insidious head. . .so many times. . .I reckon I’m over it now!  You see, having Gypsy heritage I was never going to be ‘normal’. . .and then add to that having Polio as a child. . . .the ‘normal’ stakes were stacked against me.  But I tried. . . .boy did I try. . .over and over and over again.  It’s a godsend really that I’m nearly 64 yrs. . .in the beautiful month of September. . .yes a Virgo.  And you know how Virgo’s like to be ‘good’.  But anyway, it’s getting easier to let go of the dreaded ‘normal’ yoke. . .so, so heavy. . .to carry around.

There’s a certain liberation with the onset of older age. . . .can’t prance around anymore with this gorgeous bod and face. . . pretending to be things that I’m  not!  Can now just be comfortable in my own skin. . . .hallelujah!  And well beauty never leaves. . .it’s the very essence of which I’m made.   So yes, I’m very  happy to be here.  Ambitions also need to be tempered. . .somethings have changed and denial gets me nowhere. . . but it’s a brand new cycle. . .with so many magickal gifts.  As I sit here looking out at such amazing beauty. . . only sounds of birdsong. . .clouds just look stunning.  Life all around me. . .nurtures and caresses. . .and I can just sit here. . . .and allow it to fill me.  Nowhere to go and nothing to do. . . I can just be. . . .and really, really relish my life. . . .and then of course. . .tell some stories. . . which I love to do.  Read somewhere, sometime. . .that Marilyn meant ‘Storyteller’. . . ain’t that good!

This is what I’m looking at right now. . ..

I’m free to live my life. . .as I like. . .now how incredible is that!

Anyway. . .I got to thinking about the ‘normal’ thing again this morning. . .after reading Lee Harris’ Energy Forecast. . . .I enjoy reading these.  I describe myself as being energetically sensitive. . .took a while to accept this. . .but now it explains heaps.  It’s not always easy being that way. . .’cause I ‘pick up’ more than I often need. . .often unconsciously.  So been trying for a while now to check in with my body. . .it’s an amazing intelligence. . .it’ll tell me straight up. . .what’s really happening.  It’s getting easier to know what’s mine and what isn’t. . .but I need to be conscious to be aware of this.

Life as a ‘sensitive’ can be fraught with so many different experiences. . . but it also has many incredible gifts.  I get to feel things at such a deep level. . . .so it goes both ways. . . all the beauty . . .and all the ‘other’ things.  Focus so important here. . .also what I surround my highly tuned antennae with.  Nature and solitude . . . a haven for sensitive souls.

Must be time now to let go of this heavy burden I’ve carried. . .trying to be ‘normal’. . .when no such thing exists, anywhere.  Not sure if it was my dear Mum. . . I can still hear her say . . .”what will people think?”. . . .jeez. . .fancy saying that to a little Virgo!  Who’s always trying to please. . .and help. . in some way.  Or the Doctors. . .when I was finally released. .from those hospital walls. ..  .”you can now be normal. . .go out and live a normal life”. . . .jeezus. . . .what a burden to place on a little Virgo Gypsy child!

But we all have our journeys. . . and really. . .they are  magickal adventures. . .we get to learn things. . .no-one can teach us. . .we get to explore the very essence of ourselves. . .we get to live our life as ‘me’.

Happy moments. . .may they walk with you, every step. .. and when they don’t. . .don’t be sad. . .you’re learning very special things.

much love

marilynxxx

Everything vibrates

everything is moving

its own unique sound

it’s own way of shifting

beneath the shape

and form of all

musical notes

of the highest order

we all hear it

on another level

our bodies feel

every vibration

we each have rythms

more suited

to our nature

some harmonious

some discordant

we seek out vibrations

that will uplift

but sometimes intercept

those that deceive

how do we navigate

this land of vibration

what senses are needed

to be open and active

’cause through our journey

many vibrations

we encounter

some raising us up

some bringing us lower

are we aware

of which we face

physical matter can deceive

what it appears

it really isn’t

we need to decipher

what sounds

we are hearing

what is it really

I take into my body

consequences always follow

need to tune in

to our own unique rythmn

follow it’s sound

it will not trick

but rythmns of others

need careful observation

music is powerful

can hypnotise our senses

so becoming familiar

with our own unique rythmn

we can dance joyfully

merge with the music

vibration is the basis

of all that exists

need to be alert

to the vibrations

we encounter

are they for me

or are they for another

music is constantly

seducing my senses

marilynxxx

I’m so grateful for the silence

the richness of the moment

so intricate and full

yet so simple

and knowing

I can feel where I begin

and where I end

my skin, the container

of this vehicle of mine

and the Auric fields

that give extra protection

A miraculous event

this Human Life

a miracle of miracles

hard to really fathom

that the Infinite takes residence

in this mass of the physical

a temporary space

given for a reason

The Essence of Life

no more magnificent

so rich, so deep

so complex and simple

so full, so radiant

so nurturing, so comforting

so expansive, so contracting

so truly, truly magickal

Life is rich

it’s massive and it’s tiny

it’s full of Life Energy

the beginnings of everything

It’s regal, it’s holy

it’s divine, it’s funny

it’s warm, it’s loving

it’s so gentle and caring

I’m alive

I’m living

I feel it

as it’s happening

THANK YOU XXX

the Moon this morning. . . .

The Full Moon woke me this morning. . .shining directly through my window. . .up and out to relish her magnificence.  Setting in the West, her big golden white ball. .. ready to make its descent.. . .below the horizon.  In the East, Venus, gorgeous as ever. . .Jupiter sitting with Aldebaran. . .last minutes of darkness before the Sun shnes his brilliance.

I sat with the Full Moon last night beside a crackling warm fire. . .the air thick with magick.  It was Imbolc, an Ancient Celtic festival. . .heralding the arrival of Spring. . .and honouring Brighid.  It’s the mid-point between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox.  The old communities more in tune with the Land, the Sun and the Moon. . .and their cycles. . .celebrated and gave thanks for all that was given.  We’ve lost touch with this Energy. . .as we’ve removed ourself more and more from the natural world and her very real magick.

Everything is Energy. . .energy can be felt, seen and experienced.  The energy last night. . .  just as the Sun was beginning to set and with the Full Moon already in the sky. . . was thick and palpable.  I was tired after two days in the garden, first for a while. . .what with all that heavy energy in July. . .just wanted to stay snuggled in the house. . .as if I was escaping it there!!  I was collecting wood to start the fire in the house. . .I stopped for a minute to watch the incredible beauty happening around me. . .and that was it. . .I connected to the energy. . . it was strong and penetrating.

I felt a natural pull to the energy that was occurring. . .Imbolc is known as a time of letting go. . .and making new intentions.  Still with my garden gloves on. . .I collected the bits and pieces needed for my little ritual.  I’ve found that ritual is a great way to create strong and direct focus.  I wasn’t expecting to do this. . .but the feeling was too strong to ignore.

As the Sun melted below the two sacred mountains. . . that watch over and protect me day after day. . . .and the Full Moon simply radiated the most incredible energy. . . I lit my candle and held my beautiful staff. . . .I sat and absorbed the energy that was being given.  I let go of all the things that I no longer needed. . .and intended the things that I wish to sprout with the powerful Spring energy.

I had visions, I received messages. . I saw beyond the physical. . .I felt the magick that was happening all around me.  I felt incredible grateful for the experience.

You see, I don’t expect these things. . .I’m pretty practical on one level. . .yes I see beauty all around. . .but I don’t live in a fantasy world. . .my feet are firmly on the ground. . .my hands mostly in the soil.  But it’s this ‘feeling’ sense I have, that reveals all kinds of things to me. . .and sometimes I ‘see’ things. . .that some might say aren’t there. . .I’ve just learnt to accept things I cannot explain. . .it’s easier that way.  And I guess just be careful who I say what to. . .best not tell the Doctor that I hear voices and see things. . .that may not be in my best interest!!

Well, anyway. . .so.o.o.o nice August is here. . . I feel myself again. . .July was a real doozy. . .don’t know if you felt it. . .it was so heavy and boy, so thick with. . . .hard to explain, but it felt like everything was being reconstructed, on so many levles. . .almost like I was on the operating table.  But now, thank god. . .the energy has subsided. . .back in the garden. . .back to writing.

There’s so much more than we see with our eyes. . .so much more happening below the surface of things. . .it’s both a blessing and a challenge, at times. to feel and see these things. . . but we were all made perfectly. . .so just have to get on with being me. . . each one of us perfectly made to contribute to the whole.

So lets all celebrate. . .we’ve been through a huge amount of ‘stuff’. . . whether you felt it or not. . .it did occur. . .and what a perfect time to celebrate. . . a Full Moon in Aquarius. . .it has some really lovely energy.  Whooo. . .so good to be back. . .albietly reconstructed.

this was Venus this morning. . . .

oodles of love

magick, love and healing

marilynxxxx

The weather today

overcast and cloudy

an opportunity

to spend more time

resting

and renewing

I am given everything

I need

moment by moment

a Giver so kind

showers Abundance

I don’t know what I need

all of the time

but the One that Is

knows All

without a flicker

Each day is tailored

to fit like a glove

giving exactly

the elements I need

Another day

subdued in colour

clouds protecting

warmth kept closely

sprinkles of rain

remind

more tears need shedding

Time to snuggle

love and nurture

my body

each moment given

fits so perfectly

When I open my eyes

I see the magnificence

the Kindness

the greatest Care

each moment

tailored to suit me

I am loved

beyond comprehension

I am nurtured

I am protected

I am given direction

I am directed to safety

I am given Breath

I am filled

with Life Force

I’ve been given a Life

to understand

this Magnificence

Thank You

seems so tiny

marilynxxxx

HAPPY NEW MOON! Today the Moon reaches her zenith. . her full expression. . .in Cancer. . .the sign of the home, the Mother, nurturance, safety and protection. The beginning of a new cycle, a time for wishes and intentions. . a time for quietness and reflection. A time of focus and renewal. A time of new beginnings.

The word ‘acknowledgement’ has been coming to me a lot lately. . .acknowledging my feelings, acknowledging who I am, acknowledging all my blessings.  I believe that everything needs to first be acknowledged before it can be let go or healed.  Yes we need to focus on what we want, not what we don’t want. . .we need to feel gratitude in our life. . .we need to be positive. . .but we also need to acknowledge what we’re feeling. Our feelings and emotions are messengers. . .they are trying to tell us something. . .so too are body symptons.  Acknowlegement is important, as we allow space for that feeling, that emotion or that body sympton to ‘be’, we acknowledge it’s right to exist. . we can then listen to what it’s saying.

Pretending something is not there, isn’t helpful. . in fact it’s rude and condescending.  We are precious, our body is precious. . our feelings and emotions precious.  When we see our ‘messengers’ from a place of love and respect, we can understand their purpose. . . we can listen to what they’re telling us. . and we can gain much wisdom.

We are the centre of our world. . .we are the patient and the healer, the wise teacher and the student. . .it’s all contained within us.  The answers to all our questions are within us. . .we do have the answers, we need to know that and trust it.

Nothing can exist without first acknowledging it. . .and we are made up of so many different elements. . these all need acknowlegement.  Nothing is right or wrong, good or bad. . .it just is.  And to get to where we want to go. . .we need to take all ourself with us. . .that takes a lot of acknowledging.

Have a super wonderful New Moon in Cancer. . .find your snuggly safe haven within yourself, be nurtured and loved, surround yourself with people who love you. . .and don’t forget to make your wishes. . .your intentions. . .write them down. . .and then release them to the winds. . .let them carry them higher and higher. . filled with the energy of the Sun, Moon and Stars. . .and all the magickal energy of the Universe.

magick, love and healing wishes in truckloads much love marilynxxxx

Deva-line Flower Essence Moana. . .. 22nd October 2011

I can feel you here

how sad I feel

that I lost you. . .so soon

and all the changes that have happened

over the years

I couldn’t save you then

and I couldn’t save you again

first, I was so small

and 2nd I was sick

so my grief and loss

have accumulated in my chest

here I sit

in such a beautiful place

remembering you

and what I lost

you come thru to me

many times

your voice. .  thru my hands

I receive your message

I feel you around

I feel you near

you are my mother

I’ll never forget

today you would have been 85

a lovely age

to have you here

we’ve had our hard times

but I’ve been determined. . .

to get thru

I’ve wanted to live. .

even thru the dark times

I’ve been so lucky to have

the guidance that I  have

I saw it on your face

when they let me in

you’d been gone for only a short time

I saw your expression

you were met. . .weren’t you

you saw who he was

I could see it on your face

that your crossover was kind

I wasn’t there at the end

did you feel sad

‘don’t come yet’

you said to me

‘wait till I feel better’

that never happened. . . . .

Moana is your essence

This essence is from my Mother. . who died prematurely. She often visits me and gives me messages. The energies of this Essence are purity & Divine Protection, manifestation & transformation, shape shifting & moving thru the veils, celestial sounds / sounds of silence, take your message out into the world. . .new beginnings, new life now. The cycle of life, birth & death. . . and those things that carry on. . .they never die, are with us always.

.                  .                    .                    .                        .                        .

On the day when the Solar flares were bombarding the Earth. . .I awoke and couldn’t take a breath. . .the pain was razor sharp, muscles had seized. . my heart and lungs were trying to tell me something. . . the scariest thing, not being able to take a breath . . .the pain had taken my breath away.  A time of cleansing. . .a time of releasing. . . .old, old memories being released from the body.  This is happening.

During this month of July. . the Astrological month of Cancer, the Mother. . .home, nurturing and safety.  This July 2012 is power packed, heaps of energy morphing and changing.  It’s like we’re all on the operating table. . .sometimes feels deep and painful.

Our body stores all our memories, lodged deep within the cells, she forgets nothing.  During these times of upheavel our security is threated, ‘where can I be safe’, ‘who will love and protect me’.  Mother energy is all around now. . .and in our societies, this energy has been buried for eons, the Father energy much more present.

But our Mother is the dearest and closest thing to us, she brought us into this world. . .if we were fortunate, she loved us unconditionally.  She fed us from her body, her gaze never left us. . .we were her world, she would have done anything for us.  So during these times when our very structure is shifting, inside and out. . .we look for stability, we look for love, we look for our roots. . .what will hold us safe, during these massive inter-galactic storms.

So as our body shifts with this energy, a lot is coming up for us to review and evaluate.  Old memories return, new frontiers beckon. . .we’re looking for ourself, where will we find me.

A time of acknowledging all that is precious, all we hold dear. . .’cause this will guide us.

Physical symptons give us clues to where our energy is blocked. . . .we cannot be whole without all energy moving freely.

So listen to your body. . . acknowledge your feelings. . .what is important, what is needed. . . .for me to feel safe, loved and nurtured.

may  your transitions be guided by beauty

much love

marilynxxxxx

(ps we all know what we need. . .we just have to trust it. . .)

‘road less travelled’

Life often awes me. . .with its incredible intelligence.

Us humans often congratulate ourselves for our cleverness. . .able to create and discover things.  But Life. . .boy oh boy. . . an intelligence that’s simply awesome!

The impact of the first of the current Pluto and Uranus squares. . .(that means coming together at a 90 degree angle in Astro language, which is an aspect of Challenge). . . .yesterday, was . . .well, strong!  I observed heightened reactions all around. . .the energy was certainly intense.  For some, obviously it was very conscious. . .for others maybe a little below the surface, but Pluto goes very, very deep. . . anything lingering there that needs to be ousted, will certainly be triggered.  And with Uranus. . .poof, things appear out of nowhere, sudden and immediate. . .buried stuff manifesting.

When I realized what was happening, I had a really good belly laugh. . . you see all us humans are in the same boat. . .none are better off than others.  We get these ideas, at times, that others may be more ‘together’, drop that, it’s simply not true. . . we’re all made of the same stuff, we all project and we all see the world. . .as we perceive it.

For myself I could feel anger and fear, my god where did these come from. . .quite unexpected these feeling were, especially in the circumstances.  My wiser self thought best to wait until I felt a little clearer. . .before doing anything hasty. . . .I’m eternally grateful to the wiser me.

Old memories were being activated, brought right up to the surface. . quite a surprise it was . . .thought these had long been reduced to manure. . . or did I?  We so easily fool ourselves, especially when we’re ‘smart’. .  often believing our own stories. . .we can tell ourselves anything we like.

We all carry our history, it’s the way we’re made.. . . in one way, that’s not a problem . . .as long as we’re conscious.  We all see the world thru our own unique focus and we all act from these perceptions. . .again, all of us are in the same predicament. . . consciousness the only answer.

But there is a place, I’ve felt it. . .it’s still and pure and untouched. . .it shines within my centre. . . and all it knows is Love.  The mind can come up with so many ‘reasons’, but the ‘truth’ will always be felt. . .we are super feeling machines. . .nothing escapes our radar.

A lot has been discussed and written about these current major happenings in the sky. . .Pluto and Uranus move very slowly, so when they come together. . .BIG changes are before us.  I guess we’ve all been witnessing these, they’ve been building for a while. . .2011 was the preview year. . .2012 the play now happening.  It seems that a lot of us have been going thru major shifts, so much changing around us. . .but thru it all. . .have you noticed. . . .super magick is happening.

 These last couple of months have seen a massive transit. . .worlds seemingly morphing, moving and shape shifting before our very eyes.  So many magickal moments. . .well, that’s what I call them. . . events and perceptions difficult to describe,  full of overwhelmingly, beautiful moments.  Now, I’m a pretty practical girl. . .”I’m an Earth sign Mama’ Donovan sang. . .I have my Sun and Moon in Earth signs. . .so I like my feet on the Earth.  But, thanks to the Gods I have an openess, to the wonder and magick all around. . .and believe me, it’s very, very real. . .it’s what the Universe is made of.

So my big gift from the Universe, came yesterday, only hours after the big event. . . (Pluto & Uranus). . . I saw that I could change myself. . .into a brand new me. . .I was very excited.  You see, I’d been wanting to make some changes. . .well, lets say for a while. . .I wanted to create more structure in my life. . .change a few habits.  In the past it just never happened, never even came close. . . BUT now I’d discovered the secret. . .it was all about my FOCUS.  I didn’t really approach it like that. . .I just SAW myself as a new person, it was amazingly exciting. . .I could see that with changing my routines, I would create an entirely new environment. . .I would be a different person. . .Now ain’t that pure, unadulterated MAGICK!

It was like there was very little effort, once I’d SEEN myself in a different place. . . .so today a brand new day. . .with a brand new Marilyn. . . .and boy oh boy. . . is that just simply amazing. . . you see MAGICK DOES HAPPEN.

PS. . .Saturn goes direct today. . .how’s that for synchronicity. . . Saturn is all about Form and Structure. . .as my dear Dad used to tell me OFTEN. . . ‘there’s no such thing as a coincidence”.  We are so.o.o.o much more powerful. . . than we realize.

Magick is happening

lotsa luv

marilynxxxx

Moontime

We are now in Cancer’s month. . . .Moontime. . .. mother, home, base, roots and family.  With the Sun now shining his brilliance in this area of our constellation. . .where in your personal chart (Astrological Natal Chart) will this illumination occur.

For me it’s in my 2nd house. . . the house of Values and Resources.  A kind and loving reminder. . . .as the Moon is apt to provide. . . . that the only way to walk the path of abundance and fulfillment. . . .is when I truly love myself, unconditionally.

I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit of late. . . .with New Moon time and the Solstice.  I asked myself what I wanted to ‘grow’, what I wanted to get bigger and bigger. . . .as the path of the Sun increases our time of light and illumination.  ‘What do you want to shine, what do you want to expand’ I asked myself again.  ‘My Wellbeing, my abundant health, my strength, my receiving, recognition of my skills’ etc, etc. . ..  .which all starts with Me. . . .I’m the only one who can do that.

So for me my Values and Resources will be highlighted this month. . . .have a look where your focus will be drawn during this time.

Moontime

I care for myself as I would a very small child. . .  connecting to my Inner Child, a special time of loving, nurturing and mothering.  “the child still alive in me, a part of all time”. . . .a time for connecting to her. . . . loving and nurturing.  Putting salve on the wounds, bandages on the cuts. . .holding her close, telling her she’s the most important person in my life.

Tell her how precious she is

how alive. . .how much fun

tell her, her beauty

is as radiant as the Sun

tell her you miss her

you long to spend time

just being together

playing and having fun

Time is a funny thing

it appears to be linear

but I get the sense

there’s no walls dividing

all existing together

over-lapping, co-existing

the past, the future

the forever, the present

Like an Angel with wings

we just glide thru the space

where a wall should be

but really it’s not

I’ll use my wings

to travel and see

all is one

and one is all

So this Magick Month

of the Goddess’s Hearth

the home, the Mother

the protection of the child

each time comes perfectly

to attend to all

this month your Inner Child

awaits your focus

Be warm, be loved

be with your family

the Light is now growing

give focus to those

that nurture your soul

A Magick World

we truly inhabit

Magickal Moon Blessings

dear Brothers & Sisters

Moontime Blessings

marilynxxxx

‘

‘the sky before sunset yesterday. . . .awesome’

I sense we’re moving thru an incredibly powerful portal of energy. . . .at present.  To me it feels so light. . .and loving.  As if the Gods have heard our call. . .down they come. . . .and just bless us and bless us and bless us.  “You’re never alone” they say “we are with you, every step of the way”. . .”and we love you, more than you will ever, ever know”.

Who knows what’s what. . in the invisible world. . .but I do know that it can be felt.

Yes we have Eclipses and Venus Transits and just so much going on. . .within our world community. . . .but here and now, being with myself. . .I feel and see the most magickal blessings.  I reckon something really big is happening.  And it feels very good.

As I’m in journal opening mode at present. . .writing is in progress. . .yippee. . . .I’ll finish here with a poem from the early ’90’s.

It’s called. . . .A Special Journey

Life is a journey

to where

I do not know

but along the road

as I walk

I feel

and see

and learn

I love to learn

to understand

a little

more and more

to appreciate

this wondrous life

it’s existence

I am sure

To look outside

and see creation

a beauty unsurpassed

but then within

another land

so real

and still

and wonderous

To look behind

to see within

to know the beauty

that exists

to see the love

to feel the care

to know the protection

that is there

enjoy every second

love, magick and healing

marilynxxxx