This picture gave me such a good feeling.. . . .wanted to include it in my new day. . . .
I’ve mentioned before how I was told my Grandfather was a Gypsy. . . never did meet him, I guess he was off travelling and exploring somewhere. But there’s no doubt the Gypsy heritage is in there. . . .gosh, with some of the things I ‘recall’. . . stored deep in my cellular memory. The way Life works can be a mystery at times. . . .but I love the mysterious.. .. so nothing stays hidden for long! And aren’t those Benders just the best! The fabric thing certainly in my genes. . .and strange how an image can spark off so many feelings. . . some that don’t have any connection to the life I’ve lived!
I’ve also mentioned how Mum had x-ray vision. . . .she could see through steel doors. . . .of course it was all a bit of a plaything. . .not taken seriously. But then there were those dreaded times when a ‘boy’ called to take me out. . . .she’d be the one opening the door. . . .and ‘zip’. . .her gaze would travel up and down, at lightening speed. . . .as she sucked out all the relevant information. Must have been quite an ordeal for the poor guys. And then there was my Dad. . .standing on the verandah. . .at the end of the night, as we pulled up outside the house. . . ..well. . .that’s another story!! No wonder not many guys were brave enough to experience the ‘Border’ ordeal. I know. . . .no-ones’ life is normal!!
But that ‘normal’ word. . . raises its insidious head. . .so many times. . .I reckon I’m over it now! You see, having Gypsy heritage I was never going to be ‘normal’. . .and then add to that having Polio as a child. . . .the ‘normal’ stakes were stacked against me. But I tried. . . .boy did I try. . .over and over and over again. It’s a godsend really that I’m nearly 64 yrs. . .in the beautiful month of September. . .yes a Virgo. And you know how Virgo’s like to be ‘good’. But anyway, it’s getting easier to let go of the dreaded ‘normal’ yoke. . .so, so heavy. . .to carry around.
There’s a certain liberation with the onset of older age. . . .can’t prance around anymore with this gorgeous bod and face. . . pretending to be things that I’m not! Can now just be comfortable in my own skin. . . .hallelujah! And well beauty never leaves. . .it’s the very essence of which I’m made. So yes, I’m very happy to be here. Ambitions also need to be tempered. . .somethings have changed and denial gets me nowhere. . . but it’s a brand new cycle. . .with so many magickal gifts. As I sit here looking out at such amazing beauty. . . only sounds of birdsong. . .clouds just look stunning. Life all around me. . .nurtures and caresses. . .and I can just sit here. . . .and allow it to fill me. Nowhere to go and nothing to do. . . I can just be. . . .and really, really relish my life. . . .and then of course. . .tell some stories. . . which I love to do. Read somewhere, sometime. . .that Marilyn meant ‘Storyteller’. . . ain’t that good!
I’m free to live my life. . .as I like. . .now how incredible is that!
Anyway. . .I got to thinking about the ‘normal’ thing again this morning. . .after reading Lee Harris’ Energy Forecast. . . .I enjoy reading these. I describe myself as being energetically sensitive. . .took a while to accept this. . .but now it explains heaps. It’s not always easy being that way. . .’cause I ‘pick up’ more than I often need. . .often unconsciously. So been trying for a while now to check in with my body. . .it’s an amazing intelligence. . .it’ll tell me straight up. . .what’s really happening. It’s getting easier to know what’s mine and what isn’t. . .but I need to be conscious to be aware of this.
Life as a ‘sensitive’ can be fraught with so many different experiences. . . but it also has many incredible gifts. I get to feel things at such a deep level. . . .so it goes both ways. . . all the beauty . . .and all the ‘other’ things. Focus so important here. . .also what I surround my highly tuned antennae with. Nature and solitude . . . a haven for sensitive souls.
Must be time now to let go of this heavy burden I’ve carried. . .trying to be ‘normal’. . .when no such thing exists, anywhere. Not sure if it was my dear Mum. . . I can still hear her say . . .”what will people think?”. . . .jeez. . .fancy saying that to a little Virgo! Who’s always trying to please. . .and help. . in some way. Or the Doctors. . .when I was finally released. .from those hospital walls. .. .”you can now be normal. . .go out and live a normal life”. . . .jeezus. . . .what a burden to place on a little Virgo Gypsy child!
But we all have our journeys. . . and really. . .they are magickal adventures. . .we get to learn things. . .no-one can teach us. . .we get to explore the very essence of ourselves. . .we get to live our life as ‘me’.
Happy moments. . .may they walk with you, every step. .. and when they don’t. . .don’t be sad. . .you’re learning very special things.