Author: marilyn

I love to write . . . I love to appreciate all the beauty in life. I find comfort and healing in dear Mother Nature's bounty, creative projects fill my home ~ everywhere. I've done many things and more await me ~ life is a journey, a creative adventure. I often say thank you for all that's been given.

Remembering…

It’s Anzac day… after Easter last weekend… many enjoying an extended holiday.

I’ve not participated in the ceremonial activities of this national holiday… although I think there was once… up in the mountains, near my hideaway place. I wasn’t impressed with the flight of noisy fighting jets flying over our heads.

They were honouring the significant number of fighting men and women lost (in battle) from this tiny mountain village.

I’ve been thinking about my father… my brother, and my mother.

Mum was the first to leave Earth… too early, too young. But then… there is no age we get to choose.

She never went to the fighting fields… living through the consequences of them back here in Oz… caused their own battle scars.

Then after the event… up front and personal when the traumatised men returned.

We were all impacted… whether we suffered in those terrifying hell holes or not.

I can’t imagine… how truly terrifying… psyche, heart, mind and soul destroying participating in these battle fields must be.

It goes against all innate human instincts and functions.

We’re built to celebrate Life… not immerse ourselves in suffering and death.

Yes, Compassion… for all who suffered… and continue to.

Trauma doesn’t die… it lives on. Touching everyone and everything from that time forward.

Living within an environment of trauma… the hell and dysfunction continues. Beyond lifetimes.

My Dad… he was the second to leave. He carried his wounding till his very last day. Love and torture all blended together… his suffering continued.

As a child… I couldn’t erase their suffering… as much as I tried. I inherited it though… as my children do.

It can’t be erased, just lived with and understood. Accepting the lessons learned… with a thirst and willingness to live fully and thrive.

Life shapes us and moulds us in different ways… and we learn.

Have we learned?

These are big times on Earth… we need to listen, and need to learn.

We need to change… a critical requirement on planet Earth at present.

Sensitives hear the alarms blaring.

My dearest brother… the last to depart. My only sibling… I’m now the last remaining of my nuclear family.

It was hard losing my brother… I haven’t really processed it all yet. It’s a sensitive wound still active inside me. I guess it hasn’t been long… how long does it take? Is there a time?

Russ escaped the draft. Lucky, ‘cause they were conscripting even numbered birthdays at the time… his birthday the 11th. So he wasn’t shipped off to Vietnam.

My god… another horrifying war.

I got to experience it up front and personal… I’ll never forget it.

I was young, tender and impressionable. I was seventeen. My first time sharing a flat with a girlfriend… first time away from home.

The flat was at Bronte Beach. My beautiful Mum used to take me and Russ to Bronte beach every Sunday. The three of us loved the ocean… and hot and sunny sandy days.

Dad never came… he didn’t like the beach. He’d go on long walks.

(As I’m writing… heavy tears fall from the sky… overcast and sad… fitting for Anzac day.)

Mum told me I’d stay in the water from the time we arrived… till late afternoon when we left; my skin all wrinkled from being in the water so long.

I always loved the ocean.

Bronte was the beach we loved… so my first flat away from home was at Bronte Beach.

I really liked this boy… he was really nice… as well as gorgeous looking. He was a local surfer… he was a really nice person.

We weren’t officially ‘together’… but shared a close connection.

He wasn’t as fortunate as my brother… his birthday number was the one they were calling.

He was shipped off to Vietnam.

I’ll never forget his face… when he returned.

Not just his face… but his whole being. I felt and absorbed it right through my body.

He was no longer there.

My body and mind went into shock… into an altered state. I’d never experienced anything like this before.

His body stood in front of me… but there was no-one inside him. He was gone.

The memory’s still alive within me.

My direct experience of the Vietnam war.

Yes… my fortunate brother didn’t have to go…

unfortunately though, he absorbed a lot of my father’s suffering… he didn’t escape it all. He carried the imprint of that trauma throughout his life.

War… as most of us would agree… is something we don’t want. Something we reject. Yet on it goes.

Wars begin in the minds of human beings. Not the birds, the wallaby’s or kangaroos.

Little wars surround us in our daily lives all the time.

We may not have control of decisions made by governments and leaders… but we have our own personal thoughts and actions. The decisions we make…

the state of being we accept and nurture.

Change starts with you and me. As humans we hold a great responsibility…

for the continuing health and thriving of our home planet Earth…

for her entire community of beings.

Are we up to the challenge?

Sensitives hear the alarms blaring.

Wishing you love… marilyn🩷🌺🌺🩷

Acclimatising to a new space😔😔

substack.com/profile/7006331-marilyn/note/c-109455630

Kookaburra Magick

My previous heading was… ‘Oh god… the challenges’; and yeah, they’ve been hard.

I’m built to feel the depths of things. It showers me with the capacity to feel exquisite beauty, joy and holiness. So I can’t complain.

I wouldn’t swap it… well, of course I can’t. The mechanism is unchangeable… set in stone.

As a Capricorn Moon… I have an affinity with the stone and rock kingdom.

Stone is solid and enduring… pleasing Capricorn’s planetary Lord, Saturn.

And we sure do get to experience Saturn’s ways… whether we’re aware of his presence or not.

The famous ‘Saturn Return’ around 28yrs. I’m sure you hold a memory of it somewhere in your storehouse.

Then there’s King Neptune, ruler of the Water World… holds more power than even Saturn.

The Water World has certainly become a collective focus… with the power and influence it holds.

I’ve not been down to the beach since just after Cyclone Alfred… witnessing up close the destruction.

I’m overdue to go down… I used to go down for every dawn… and what an exquisite, sensational experience that is.

Every day different… the colours, the mood, the cyclic changes.

And that huge golden ball of fire as it ascends from the depths of Neptune’s Water World… making life possible on this planet.

Tears would fill my eyes… my heart responding to such a holy moment… I’d bow my head in gratitude.

This Earth, this Life is filled with magick.

The challenges… that have flooded my being… have taken me to a place, long forgotten. Where I wasn’t sure if I could move myself out of.

It also held such power… but in a dark and imprisoning manner.

It’s a shock when you stumble into a place… long thought gone.

Where all your resources seem to melt in the roaring fire ready to consume you.

This move has been the most difficult experience I can remember for a very long time.

Maybe back there… when I was newly turned three… a visit to the hospital where I never came home. Not till another year.

As therapists would often say… ‘I’ve done a lot of work on myself’.

Not just in these last 30yrs… where I’ve studied and trained… ways to access deeper levels of memories stored in my body.

But really, right from the start.

That experience… at such a tender and vulnerable time of my development… only just turned three.

To be separated from my mother and father… my home.

Housed in an institution… not friendly and compassionate to children at that time. Surrounded by sickness and death.

Yes, of course it changed me… how could it not.

I built a solid rock wall between me and everything else. Except Nature… that was always where I felt safe, at home.

It’s still like that for me… like I need it on a soul and cellular level. I start dying without it.

So… the Kookaburra’s came. I can’t tell you what that meant for me. I thanked them from my heart.

I’m not alone in this alien place… they’ve come to be with me.

I had a very special relationship with my feathered friends at Mahalia (the property I lived). It was bird paradise.

That was my intention to create here… plant a mini forest to attract back all my friends. I need them to exist… living within this loud, noisy, busy, unaware social community.

Humans… well, lots of them, are hard to be around.

Sigh… yes, the wilderness calls me. Being ‘practical’… now in my aging years. Is that real or a con?

I guess I’ll find out.

So Kookaburra saved me… and yes, my nervous system is depleted (adrenal exhaustion) it’s all been too much, this move.

But then… moves tend to do that to me. I’ve wondered often, if it takes me back to that time I was three.

Some of those buried feelings and emotions are still yet to be allowed space to rise to the light. To be assimilated.

Some things just seem too hard.

And I’m pretty brave.

And clever.

Gifted with so much.

Showered with Divine Grace.

I’m grateful… I am.

It’s just those dark passages.

I call out for help.

And the Kookaburra came… then later with his mate.

Much Love to you… marilyn💚💚💚

I’m tired

It’s been a helluva few months. Well… March was always forecast to be BIG.

It started in January… yes or no for the house. It was difficult negotiations… people with different ways… they creep under your skin.

Why can’t things move at a different speed? Offered with genuine humanity? Our world today.

It’s fast… where are people rushing to get to? Push aside anything in the way. Trample over… that poor, dear wallaby mum… dragged over to the gutter to rot. Her bulging pouch horribly still.

Push, push, push… make it go faster. We’re in a hurry… to where? What’s ahead… the ending of our life, our time on this sensational planet.

Too busy to notice… just get out of my way. I have important things to do.

We wonder… what will it take, to slow everything down.

Yeah… unfortunately, the most challenging of times.

We said yes… well, I surrendered. My son was keen, I had concerns (my Capricorn Moon😁).

We signed the bottom line.

The house is ours… well, the banks.

But it will be ours… not too far away. My son, a clever and generous and loving and caring gorgeous soul.

The floors are done. Well, at least for stage 1… of this large creative project.

The painting finishes tomorrow. All lovely white and bright. We’re loving this solid but weary house… back to shining light.

Creating Sacred Space… so important for us to thrive.

All my stuff waiting patiently in the humble, narrow garage… we’ve been separated for two years.

All my Flower Essences… Mother Tinctures I co-created with the Devic Kingdom.

First one was in 2001… the morning the flower Deva’s first spoke to me.

Now there are many… I’m eager and excited to set them up in a Sacred Space… after being boxed away in wooden containers… up high over many others… in a large and lonely warehouse.

It’ll be wonderful to be re-united. They’re a powerful healing energy. And always so eager to help.

Being involved with their creation from the very start revealed to me, again and again… the incredible magick on this Earth and within Life.

Then there’s all the gorgeous crystals… boxed up tightly in their protective containers.

I wonder if they spread their magick… even from those cramped wooden containers… stacked up high… surrounded by layers of stuff upon stuff.

I bet they did. Their presence is subtle… yet powerful in it’s influence.

It’s a part of that magick juice of Life.

I’m rambling on… I’m over tired. So much to attend to, organise… re-organise again.

Things change and move as they do.

It’s most certainly a time of new beginnings. Change is never easy… by the very nature of how we’re structured.

And these are MASSIVE changing times. And we just gotta jump into the stream.

Go with the flow. Trust Life. Celebrate.

Inviting the joy… pursuing it. Opening our doors wide… to love and care and kindness.

Being the amazing ‘Me’ ~ we are.

One short life… and man, what a ride.

Rest when it’s needed… that’s often. I’ve learnt a lot about that… and I continue to.

Living our Love.

Doing the very best we can.

Accepting when we can’t.

We’re human after all.

Much love to you… marilyn🩷🌸🩷

It’s a sensitive time

It’s been a while since I’ve written here… gave up Facebook and adopted Substack. All there, seemed to be praising it’s originality, simplicity and as a port for ‘good’ writers.

It is… at the same time… there’s the familiar space… that social media tends to generate.

I still find myself scrolling (in mindless moments) … albeit through some clever and talented folk’s expression.

But it’s still busy… and crowded. I want to run away… to some quiet space somewhere where I don’t feel overwhelmed with all the noise and activity.

Sigh… sensitivity.

The word sensitive… so often used it becomes lost in translation… losing its significance on our very real existence.

But the experience of it remains the same.

So it’s nice to come back to this quiet, still space… my own little space. I love the quiet, I really love the quiet… it’s my favourite thing.

Of course nothing is silent… in real life, that is… the heavenly sounds of existence so full in its expression. Like a heavenly choir of Angels… such fine voices… only heard by the most eager and hungry for that special essence of everything.

It’s been an extra wild time… buying a new home (from a less than nice vendor☹️)… the whole process. And this time buying with my son (house costs are extreme).

I’ve never bought with anyone before… and this is my 8th. Sounds a lot… but I moved on every 5-7yrs (the Gypsy blood).

And houses were soooo much cheaper then. Our current times are extreme… in almost every way.

Last week we had Alfred… first cyclone in these parts (Northern NSW)… in 50 years. They rarely happen here. Our ocean’s warming… sigh… climate change.

Then yesterday that motherfucker of a Blood Red Full Moon Solar Eclipse. Totally flattened me. Only off bed to get food and drink… etc.

I crashed. I’m familiar with the journey of these. Being an HSP (Highly Sensitive Perception)… and carrying the impacts of a nasty virus I had as a toddler.

My dear, wonderful, highly receptive nervous system… so focal in my journey through life.

It’s a Virgo Full Moon Solar Eclipse… opposite all that potent gathering in Pisces.

So much… tender stuff… coming up to be seen once again… and now finally let go of?? I dearly hope so.

There’s no time like now.

Our influences go back generations… we’re full of our ancestors… yet our path and dharma is our own.

Being Earth creatures… we get there step by step. It’s just sometimes we see the urgency up close and personal.

Some of this letting go has been carried for hundreds of years. Stamped so clearly in our DNA.

These are BIG times… change is no longer an option. It needs to happen now. For all of us.

Hitting you full and central.

Love to you… marilyn🌺🩷🌺

‘to the stories that arise when our own human imagination becomes entangled with the imagination of the other-than-human world around us…’ Dr Sharon Blackie

It was the 6th of June 2012. A special year of magickal manifestations.

Venus was crossing the Sun. It was getting a lot of press. I was eager to watch… I searched the house the night before… for a little piece of alfoil.

I didn’t buy it… but thought a piece may have come from somewhere. I wanted to create a home-made concoction so I could view the eclipse with my eyes.

Alas I found no alfoil… not even a skerrick. Somewhat disappointedly I said… ‘well, I’ll just have to feel it.’

Never imaging the panoramic show that would unfold… for my own personal viewing.

It was palpable… immediately colliding with my body.

As I walked out the kitchen door… onto the deck… the deafening silence… no bird sound.

Morning and no bird sound… Mahalia was bird paradise.

It was early still… 8am. Venus eclipsing Sun was scheduled around 11am.

The atmosphere was thick… I’m not sure I’ll ever find words to describe it. Maybe there aren’t any. But I can still see it… experience it inside me.

The glorious morning winter Sun was still fresh in the sky. My sun bed faced the rising sun. I lay down, horizontal… I wanted to absorb every particle.

The amazing silent air was radiating reverence. It was so powerful. The reverence was viscerally felt. This excitement… this honouring… this exalted presence.

‘It’s Venus’ … I said to myself… ‘they’re all awaiting the Goddess’. It was so palpable. The entire environment awaiting her arrival.

I stripped off… wanting to feel those potent Sun and Venus rays all over my skin.

The most extraordinary personal initiation. As these Venus drenched Sun rays absorbed into my skin… moving inside my body. It was Venus. She’d returned to my body. I saw… she’d been gone since I was 2yrs old.

I’m always amazed at what is possible to experience.

Life is truly holy🩷🩷🙏🏻🩷🩷

a powerful year…🍄🍄

Ancestry will always be strong in me… Sun on IC (imum coeli)… deep in the heart of Cancer’s home.

Right at the core… doesn’t get much deeper than that.

There at my core… that Scorpio blood runs deep. Ancient Sorceress.

Magick light and dark… we walk the path of death and rebirth… while Life dances around us💗💗

Trees – how magnificent they are. How splendiferous. So much beauty floods my being. If we could only see the magick… feel it, know it’s alive.

Know it’s real.

We breathe it in.

It’s what grants us the great Grace… of being here. Alive, present – able to absorb it all… and join in with its celebration of everything.

Much Love 💗🐸💗

2023… 🐝🐝

It’s been a very different year. 

I saw that mystery right at the start… looking at the Birth Chart for 2023. 

The support was obvious… but more like a background/hidden kind… not up front and in your face.

It was a bit of a mystery… right from the start. There was always a question mark attached to its name.

And here we are just a couple of short weeks till its end. We made it through… as they say ‘we live to tell the story’.

Many I’m sure are well and truly immobilsed by all the headlines… internally as well as externally. A huge drama happening within and without.

2024 is the year of the Dragon… my favourite kind. It’s the year of the Wood Dragon.

I don’t have much experience with the Wood element (in Chinese Astrology)… at least not consciously. But I’m happy it’s going to be a Dragon year. Dragon’s are very cool🙂🙂

I think we’re going to have to re-route our curiosities to our internal ecology… our undiscovered treasure chest inside our self. ’Cause I think this sorting out the mess on Earth is going to take a while.

We just correspondingly build our resources. Knowing our values. Living our values. Evolving as a human being… on this amazing planet Earth.

I’ve never been where I’m standing now… it’s a totally unknown presentation. All the familiar landmarks are gone. A bit like being lost at sea. Sigh… Neptune.

I have myself to guide me. And the great force of Love that never abandons me.

I remind myself of my intention… my love, my commitment.

I always have a choice… even though sometimes they might hide in doubt. Which way do I want to go? How can I celebrate this miraculous Life of mine… walk bravely through it all.

Much Love to You💗💗

.

Yesterday was tough… 🥰🥰

gorgeous little one😊

as if I didn’t aquire that particular switch.

This unfolding, transformation stuff can be hard at times.

It’s like I couldn’t resist it… even if I tried

Oh yes… it’s had its benefits and gifts. But it’s as if I don’t know another way.

It started early… exposed to out of the ordinary things. Big tests right off.

They say you’re not given anything you don’t have the capacity to handle. And make something good of it.

It was never going to be an ordinary life. It was crafted exactly… to suit your purpose. And sacred evolution.

There is only movement.

Life constantly reaches out… constant creation. This miraculous dance.

I decided to give this new therapist a go… as my search led to her. I trust life.

Her ways different to my way of doing things… permeated as I am with such exquisite sensitivity.

My trainings, gifts, abilities… are body focused. So many secrets she reveals… she holds it all.

My fascination for her never wavers.

But this therapist’s way is different… I resort to resistance. I jump up to defend.

I never realised she was so strong… this other part of me… I made her good. Clever I’ve always been… still, as I venture into older age.

What a trip this life is.

The sessions… nothing much is felt. I’m used to feeling deep and strong… and seeing things. Deeply transforming experiences.

This is different.

Body is always there though…present, active, assimilating, sorting.

Deeply buried stuff is unlocked from its hiding place. This is tough for the body to experience.

Emergency stations.

Sigh… this transformation stuff is hard at times.

And maybe that’s okay… you’ve been strong for so long.

No… never a normal life. How is that possible for anyone.

🧡🧡🧡

what’s important…