I’d forgotten (not really) how special lockdown can be.
I’ve never forgotten last year… that first chapter of the virus… as lots of things shut down for a while… including most of the planes. It was extraordinary. Witnessing Mother Nature blossoming before our very eyes. It happened in many places around the world.
It put on a special show here in my back yard. It felt like an ‘other worldly’ experience… or that your senses had been activated by an hallucinogen.
Out back of me is Simpson’s Creek… an estuary of the Brunswick River. It’s tidal… but never dry. It’s a special place… with Magick Mangroves on either side. Well on the more human active side of the creek the mangroves aren’t doing that well.
Despite it all it retains its magick.
Witnessing that blossoming during the early stages of the virus back in early 2020… I thought surely we’d never forget. Surely people would never want to ‘go back to normal’ after witnessing this. Not after witnessing this miracle.
Sigh… we forget.
Letting go of what we’ve known is not easy. We create a sense of security in the familiar. What will we have if everything changes, if things are taken away? We hold on. Even when we see our ways destroying the very planet we exist on.
Change will come… whether we let go or not. Some things are much bigger than us.
The kindness of Life allows us choice… gently reminds us, gives us a shove. Tries to open our eyes.
I went for my first swim in the river/creek today… first in months. We’ve had heaps of rain and cold weather this year… and after what seemed like constant rain for months and months and months the river took ages to clear itself of all the runoff and debris.
It’s back… back to it’s most extraordinary self… a colour I struggle to find a word to describe. It’s the palest, see-through, mesmerisingly light green mixed with blue. It’s spellbinding.
We’re in the end of winter here… so water temperature is cool but not cold. It’s wonderful… invigorating and revitalising. It’s magickal.
I look out to a huge open expansive of stunning water… held and supported either side by the sacred mangroves. Two lone fisherman in the distance… one north, one south. A paddler in the distance. The rest just open empty space… inhabited by the special creatures that call it home.
An Osprey glides overhead.
The sky a brilliant blue… above and all around. A scattering of stretched-out white clouds lying low in the south.
Sunlight, light, bright, brilliant and warm.
I wish we didn’t forget. We know (surely some place deep down) we really can’t ‘go back to normal’… I mean look at the latest warning… ‘the highest alert’. Screaming Red.
Will we sit and watch… the destruction of our precious Earth?
Or draw on all our courage and strength… gather together and say ‘Yes’. We can change. We can create a new future.
I’ve been feeling tired. Zero motivation. My body wants to sleep. I keep distracting myself. Wanting to hold on to what was… while longing to let it all go. BE FREE.
How I Love to MERGE with Life.
I feel stuck… don’t know where I am. I’m not there… and not arrived in next. I’m not sure where I am.
I’m changing… by the second. Shifted… moved into another space.
The ‘old’ boring, humdrum, repetitive… stuck in yesterdays. We’ve moved on… but haven’t arrived yet.
A new experience for sure… especially on such a galactic scale.
Where to go in all the changes? What to ‘do’?
The space is empty… and feeling pretty weighty. Inside out, upside down… everything’s happening all at once. Moving at the speed of light. Yet ambling along.
How to find a language… for those formless places. Not quite here… but present all the same.
Feelings… I know them well.
It’s keeping mind away from them… is the trick.
So much swirling around. I often say if we had special glasses (like 3D glasses ~ only probably 5D at least would be required)…
so we could see the movement of all that formless invisible matter… dancing in our space. Passing through our energy fields into our physical.
I got to know these formless critters when training in Pranic Healing. I mean, words like ‘entities’ were even hard for me to take in. And I’m pretty open (too much unfortunately… but that’s another thing).
We were practicing… during my training; offering sessions for a donation, in the local community. My first ‘public’ experience… extending my skills, practising what I learned.
It was during one of those… that a hand grasped me by the throat. And pressed tight. It was real alright… I was feeling it. But of course on the physical level nothing could be seen.
I’d encountered an ‘entity’ ~ the ones my teacher had spoken of. God… they’re real.
Of course my teacher brushed it off… I recall him saying ‘it’s just your ego..’ whatever that meant. He wasn’t disregarding the fact an ‘entity’ had latched itself onto me. So whatever the ‘ego’ thing meant… I had no idea.
I’ve encountered these formless forms… many times over the years of my practice. I could feel them… and see them. Some big buggers there were. Nasty bits.
I reasoned… that it was all just energy. Too much thinking and analysing doesn’t help.
Why entities are on my mind I’m not sure. Maybe it was my first Pranic session in years that activated the whole thing again.
I’m energy sensitive… ridiculously so at times. It’s not always comfortable. But I can’t change it. I’ve learned (very slowly) to trust myself more and more… as my life’s unfolded.
I’m feeling a lot at present. July’s been a big month planetary wise. These last 18mths have been a bit of a head spinner. This year I reckon more than last.
I’ve been wanting to hermit. Lie on my bed and read novels. The world outside is way too much at times… so much going on. At least under the surface.
So much unexpressed emotion.
So much confusion, uncertainty, isolation.
I get the sense it’s going to get worse before it gets better… whatever that means. We haven’t even encountered the drastic weather changes yet. Our precious Earth is struggling to breath… like I am with my mask. Our lungs full of grief.
It’s a funny thing with emotions … they tend to activate any that are similar… stored away. They go exploring through the halls of the akashic beaming up all the resonant bits.
And yeah Mother Moon’s in Scorpio at present. Scorpio goes deep. He’s an edge dweller. Lives on the edge of nice and good. Hungers for the raw and unpolished.
Lusts after unity. True intimacy and authenticity. Strips us to our vulnerability. Purges anything past its used by date.
Not always for the faint of heart… but worth the journey.
Where can we strip another layer of ‘false’… to get to the true core of everything. After eons of make-belief.
Breathing is good. And I’m sure glad I’m alive… regardless how tender it gets at times.
Allowing the magick to approach… swarm you, absorb you, eat you up… swallow you whole.
Divine presence, limitless inspiration… awe that stops worlds. Sets your entire being at peace.
That ‘God’ is all around us… is never to be doubted.
We are not sinners… we are divine and perfect beings… created in the image of the whole.
I almost didn’t go down… for dawn that is.
Yesterday in the big smoke… ‘checked in’ to 13 places; mask on an off. Slipped down over my nose at times (so I could breath).
The Pranic helped. My first session in years. I’m also a ‘Pranic Healer’… it was the first modality that called me. I remember it well… the day I first met my teacher.
I was recovering… but still deeply in it. The ‘adjustment disorder’ (fancy name for nervous breakdown) the doctor informed me I had entered into.
I burnt out.
At the speed I use to go it’s not surprising.
Add to that the legacy I’ve carried from the Virus visit back when I was three. It’s walked with me since.
Some say a virus never leaves… lodges itself in your body. It gets attached… doesn’t want to leave you.
Way back… when studies were done on the Polio virus… they discovered during autopsy’s that the virus was still alive in various places in the body. Spinal chord and large intestine in particular.
Recently I read a comment someone made about the current virus. She said her father had Polio… and I guess was using that as a backing for her current discussion.
I immediately responded… inside myself.
I don’t regret anything. Well almost😶. I don’t regret having the virus… I figure it was part of my journey. Sure it changed the direction of my life. But me being me… I used that as an adventure. A quest… to get to the bottom of it all.
Being exposed to life and death… isolation (years in hospital) and the medical system… my three year old curiosity (even amidst it all) was ignited.
That curiosity I still have… I’m still on the trail. Still trying to find the ‘truth’ behind it all.
I wouldn’t be who I am, what I’ve experienced, and what I’ve pursued… if that virus didn’t choose me.
This in no way has anything to do with now. I try to stay out of it. It’s a trigger sensitive issue… and it doesn’t take much to ignite.
I hope we all move beyond that. I really do. My whole life has been about ‘caring’. No-one can take my life experience away from me.
I’ve lived it. I know it. I’ve seen it. It’s created the foundation of my being.
So let’s stay civilised… kind and caring.
Not letting our beliefs… no matter how foundational they are… ever get in the way of love.
Otherwise we are doomed.
It’s a huge time… astrologers and ‘Seers’ have warned us for many years. I too have ‘seen’… a long time ago. I’ve written about it for years.
The visions were clear.
A huge change was upon us… we had to clean up the mess. The mess we’ve all created. We’re all in this together.
If you can… find a way to give expression to your emotions. Feel the grief… the loss. It’s real. I know I’ve carried heaps of grief in my lungs.
We carry on on the surface… yet underneath is this tsunami of raging emotions… fear, loss, grief, anger. All bubbling ready to spill over.
They need release… and not at each other.
Taking responsibility for what we feel… what triggers us. Yeah sometimes we fail… but we can pick ourself up and try again.
We’re all learning.
This is a new world.
The old is gone.
It won’t come back
It’s likely to become more intense over the shorter time period.
We won’t change unless we’re forced. That’s proved itself.
So the ‘war’ has begun… where do we find shelter.
The old has gone… allow time for grieving.
It’s not coming back.
Yeah… sometimes the anger surfaces in me, but I’m so used to stuffing it down… morphing then into depression…. heaviness and sorrow.
Yeah… angry at ‘those’ and we know there are some… those that have brought us to this brink. They need to burn in hell.
And yes… at the same time… we all need to take responsibility for where we are.
It’s a weird weird world for sure.
Much love to you ❤️🧚♀️❤️
and ps… as I got the first glimpse of that indescribable golden ball peeking over the water’s edge… my entire body was flooded with the most extraordinary sensations… like a surge of effervescent light rays cleansing all parts of me.
Marilyn’s Magick🌺 