what a journey🙏

I want to freeze time ~ hold it here. This day before my birthday.

I want to stretch it out… make it last. Create a whole world with it. Play in there for ages.

Create a life… bring it into being. Things I love.

There’s a quality of magick permeating the air.

I’ve come out the other side… of the tunnel. It was dark. Many I’ve been through. Become a bit of an explorer of those places. At the time it can be pretty intense. I am human.

There’s a lot of Light.

I know to be prepared… alert. Where there’s Light there’s shadows.

Standing on the doorstep of this magickal cycle… 73 💝. Was the best year ever 1973.

You don’t get many like them.

Extraordinary… Divine. Out of this World. Off the Planet… Gifts beyond belief. Light… like a tornado.

Dark shrivels and dies… conquered. Won. Home… lifetimes forever complete.

Yes a precarious step I stand upon. The door soon to open.

Grace has showered me… covered me like glitter. That purposeful intent… and oh so courageous little girl. Stacked up with all that power and courage… they knew she’d be needing it.

‘Where Angels fear to tread’… my Dad often said, to my brother. Mine more demure, quiet, hidden, soft, caring. But there.

Oh yes it was there… it is there.

The track to this step has been thorny indeed. All kinds… all sorts banging into me. Scratching me, knocking me down. Trying to annihilate.

See ~ how strong you are.

That tiny form grown to large… crossed over another fence. Heading into ‘old’ age.

Man ~ like who could ever imagine. Not until you’re here does the miracle reveal itself.

I want to stretch this day forever… make a life of it. Life begins anew with each new breath.

I praise them, I adore them… call them to my side. They’re my lovers, my protectors… they’re my God. My everything.

I want to celebrate my Life.

I want… I will expand into this space.

I want to merge with this time… make it mine.

I’m a gift from God. Only one of me made. Just the other day I got a true glimpse of that. Experienced it in the here and now. In my body… where it showed itself to be real.

It was extraordinary… one of a kind. In the whole universe of everything. In all times ever.

And I still have breath.

I stand on this step… the door soon to open. On a whole new Marilyn.

I can never really reveal my gratitude. Often it lies silent deep in my soul. But when I go I shall sing it through all the air.

I’m hoping to be here for a while… if that’s ok😃

It’s the coolest thing being here on Earth… where the magick happens (despite the Shit Show😌).

Miracles unfolding… breath after breath.

And yes… May I never forget.

And sigh… we’re ‘free’ today (lockdown lifted here) 🍄🎉🍄

May Love forever be your guide ❤️🧡❤️

Self Compassion 💗💗

I went to see my counsellor yesterday… first time a few weeks back… in a while .

She really helped me through a particular passage. It was during my training when old trauma got activated. Trauma I never knew I had.

In the coaching world ~ Trauma’s been a bit of a buzz word. It can be off-putting when things get ‘trendy’. It does for me. Virgo desiring purity. What’s real and true.

A challenging goal at times.

I made the appointment as I’d been feeling flat… my usual trust and eagerness sitting like a puddle on the floor. I wondered… ‘is this a form of depression?’

It was subtle… not that intense trauma reaction that has you just wanting to die. Sliding down into black holes… you never knew existed.

No ~ it was much more subtle than that.

But it was obvious.

I’ve always been one that’s quietly driven. Enthusiasm in spades… find what lies around the corner. Under the surface.

My life’s been one huge adventure. I’ve been fearless, open, willing to have a go. My curiosity knows no boundary lines. I was a gleeful student of life.

I was clever… thanks to my heritage. I had a powerful intuition. Friends tell me things I said to them years ago. I don’t remember. Can’t see myself even saying such a thing.

I wondered… was I in some kind of trance? Was it a message just zipped down to me… and out it came from my mouth.

I don’t know.

I was fearless. I also carried a heap’a fear in my cells. It walked close to me my whole life. But I was fearless all the same.

I was an adventurer, an explorer… a pioneer. I just needed to find out what it was all about. I never gave up. No matter what struck… I’d brush myself off and go again.

I’ve learned a lot. I’ve observed a lot. I have a killer (in the nicest way💝) Instinct. It’s a powerful thing.

I’ve had my wounds. My life’s been one of Healing and the Healer. It plays music through my veins.

I feel connection to those who came before me. I’ve seen them. They sometimes visited.

In my youth I held for my very life… to my intellect. It was clever they told me. I doubted anything that couldn’t be explained. I constantly tried to drown out anything that just didn’t make sense.

I mean how can these things really happen?

They’ll think you’re mad. You can’t have that. You’ll be separated from the tribe. You know what will happen… it’s happened before. The memories and vision of which still play on your screen.

History repeats itself. Again and again. Till we learn.

I like my counsellor… I feel comfortable with her. I went feeling tired, like all my air had gone… a deflated balloon. But that often happens to me during Dark of Moon.

But I could feel it enough to make the appointment. Something lingering on the edge… could see it through the corner of my eye.

Depression… is that what it is?

Talking together… I kept getting distracted. Into the superficial, the practical, the surface. Fortunately she could see me… offered me another road, redirect my focus. Back into my body.

You’d think after all the years of training in somatic coaching I’d be an expert😌😌

Well… we always work on our self first.

I stopped my jabbering of inconsequential… noticed my sneaky one that loves to distract me. She’s cheeky.

I settled in my body.

I saw myself dissolve… into a puddle on the floor.

She invited me to go deeper into this.

She kindly lay down a mat and a blanket to cover me with. I felt safe. Well almost.

I curled into a bundle… making myself smaller and smaller. Trying to disappear.

But there were two things going on.

There was movement too… an electrical kind, like nerve energy impulses.

She invited me to let them both be.

I did… went from one to another. Let them be there… and express.

Then the screaming started… silently of course (my body contracts as I write those words).

My pride still in tact.

It was the loudest, piercing scream. Like an energetic force forming a rod and piercing it up to the sky. It was a powerful scream. Like it contained all of me. I gave my all to it.

I’ve heard that scream before. I’ve had many ‘going backs’… a weird quirk of mine. Could be all the Neptune💙

I’d heard that scream… relived that scream, many times.

Then came the ‘No’s these were less energetic… she’d been exhausted by that full bodied scream.

But they continued and repeated.

Then I was spent… my breathing through it all changed rapidly. I became still, everything quiet. Back to the puddle… yet it was no longer water. There was some substance.

I came back. Wiped some tears. I felt really tired. Still back at home… till I went to bed.

Another slow day… nurturing myself.

It’s beautiful working with the body. She’s simply amazing. Truly amazing. I love our relationship. She’s such a Powerful Healer.

Be kind to yourself. Extra kind and Loving. Lots of stuff being activated. Man ~ talk about ‘them’ putting on a show’ (the dark side😃😃)

Doing lots of loving things for You. Luxuriating in full body sensation. Wherever you are in yourself right now… no judgement. Judgement is ugly.

Luxuriate in Goodness. In Yourself. More than just accepting where you’re at right now… but actually Loving it. Adoring it unconditionally.

Powerful Healing Magick

It’s Virgo time… how perfect

much love ~ 🧡🍄🧡

changing gears 🍄

We all need magick.

Lots is good. There’s plenty around… just take a quick squiz about your person. That stuff is everywhere.

I’m a huge fan of magick… that magick feeling that tickles your skin. Tingles your insides. Harmonises your cells. That feeling you remember… like it’s been there forever. You know it so well.

It’s where you feel at home. At rest… one with yourself. One with everything around you. You exhale the loudest sigh.

It’s like a silky golden honeyed liquid that pleasures all your senses… even the ones you never knew you had. Your body responds. Mind stills. Heart swells… responding to the overflow of love.

A belonging you hunger for… showers over you extravagantly.

There’s no measly mouthed misers here… everything flows abundantly.

No need for FOMO… it never runs dry, this magick well is always full. It flows from an infinite source. You only need to show up. No questions asked. No forms to fill. No passports, entrance exams… no judgements, ridicule, restrictions or gaols. Nah… all free here.

I’m a big fan of magick land. Some think it’s pretend. I know it’s not. Magick’s there all the time. It never goes away.

You only need to turn up.

You’re never turned away.

In fact you’re welcomed with open arms… a gleeful smile… a generosity that awes you at first. You’re just not used to it.

How can anything be so kind… so giving? So present. So full. So always there?

Never disappoints. Never turns away. Always welcoming… takes you into her fold. Recognises you immediately… a long lost friend. Feels like you’ve never parted… just drifted off somewhere.

Sometimes the contrast is enormous.

Yeah… I’m a fan of magick. I’ve seen heaps.

I’ve walked in it, swam in it, danced in it… absorbed it into my skin.

I’ve seen it with my eyes, heard it in my ears… tasted it on my tongue. Felt it nurture me.

It always welcomes me home.

I wander… but I hope I always return.

Easy to get lost… loose your way. Then you just let out a cry… and wiz bam you’re back. Magick it is.

I’m glad I’m a fan of magick… she’s a big part of me.

People think she’s pretend… I know she’s not.

She’s more real than anything else.

New Moon Blessings… Moon’s planted her seed just a short time ago. She’ll be hidden in the sky for a little bit longer… then out she’ll come shining her light… in that gorgeous little slip of an arc.

For such a little thing… she holds a great deal of power.

And this Virgo New Moon brings a whole heap of healing… I reckon we could do with heaps of that right now. Even with all the magick about.

Yeah… there’s plenty of things that are wrong… but even more that are right.

Just gotta find them… and shine a light on them.

Yeah… a challenge at times.

We fall down… then we get up again.

I’m in the countdown… finishing off my journey through the twelfth house. A brand new cycle about to start in another five days.

And another year older. You just can’t ever imagine you’d get this far. But I gotta be grateful I have. Even with all of it.

73…. gasp😳😳

may your journey been filled with heaps’a magick moments….

much love… marilyn🧡🍄🧡

into the still and quiet⛺️

The Sanctuary

Dark Moon time. I always feel it… like all the air has been released from my balloon. My energy is redirected into other places… my body left to rest.

New Moon in Virgo tomorrow. A Moon cycle is seeding the accumulative wisdom gathered over the last 28 days… preparing for a new cycle to birth.

These Dark Moon times are special… Moon’s absence can have you flat out on your back. Watching the world as it passes by.

Being a spectator… safe at home in your body.

Needing safety… a sense of belonging.

A time of journeying through shadow lands… hidden parts. Quiet voices usually drowned out. Amid all the activity and movement.

A highly Feminine time… being receptive. Open to receive the bounty. Letting go of the detritus. No longer needing shreds of living… once come to teach now ready to depart.

Quiet time needed… allows my inner world to be resourced by my vital force. Surrendering… being still. Listening… going deeper in my ears. What do I hear? What are the messages… just for me.

Feeling the softness… the insignificance, the greatness. The depths. The powerful yet achingly tender vulnerability.

The need, the desire… the surrender. Trusting.

Who am I at the root?

What drives me… to be here? What empowers me to take each step?

What is non negotiable?

What is my Love of Love of Loves?

What do I live for?

What will I take with me when I leave?

‘You’ ~ one unrepeatable, sacredly unique… extraordinarily special Life Creation. Given exclusively to you.

May New Moon Blessings shower us all.

marilyn🌺🌏🌺

Feeling the good… 💗💗

Doors open and close… we enter and we leave

Each moment new… never been or never will again

Only now… can we capture the gift

Dark corridors… pull you down

you have no strength against them… their will is strong.

You surrender, let go… unfurl your grip

You trust in a power greater than you…

easy really… it’s never let you down

Always there, always responds… holds you tight throughout the storm

You’re never alone… never abandoned

they stick close by… holding your hand

often carrying you

The waves obliterate any presence of you

in a swirl of chaos… everything washed clean

How incredibly brave you are… to trust as you do

The storm is ferocious… will you live another day?

There’s nothing you can do to stop it

you let go to the process

Then it all stops… you open your eyes

weak… a vulnerability so deep… you’ve made it through

how amazingly brave you are

The light is different… your inner world changed

you stand in a different place

you feel it throughout your being

You’re not who you were

You don’t stand where you did

while the war of the worlds happened around you…

You were held

You were transported to another place

Transformation is real

marilyn💗💗