
My previous heading was… ‘Oh god… the challenges’; and yeah, they’ve been hard.
I’m built to feel the depths of things. It showers me with the capacity to feel exquisite beauty, joy and holiness. So I can’t complain.
I wouldn’t swap it… well, of course I can’t. The mechanism is unchangeable… set in stone.
As a Capricorn Moon… I have an affinity with the stone and rock kingdom.
Stone is solid and enduring… pleasing Capricorn’s planetary Lord, Saturn.
And we sure do get to experience Saturn’s ways… whether we’re aware of his presence or not.
The famous ‘Saturn Return’ around 28yrs. I’m sure you hold a memory of it somewhere in your storehouse.
Then there’s King Neptune, ruler of the Water World… holds more power than even Saturn.
The Water World has certainly become a collective focus… with the power and influence it holds.
I’ve not been down to the beach since just after Cyclone Alfred… witnessing up close the destruction.
I’m overdue to go down… I used to go down for every dawn… and what an exquisite, sensational experience that is.
Every day different… the colours, the mood, the cyclic changes.
And that huge golden ball of fire as it ascends from the depths of Neptune’s Water World… making life possible on this planet.
Tears would fill my eyes… my heart responding to such a holy moment… I’d bow my head in gratitude.
This Earth, this Life is filled with magick.
The challenges… that have flooded my being… have taken me to a place, long forgotten. Where I wasn’t sure if I could move myself out of.
It also held such power… but in a dark and imprisoning manner.
It’s a shock when you stumble into a place… long thought gone.
Where all your resources seem to melt in the roaring fire ready to consume you.
This move has been the most difficult experience I can remember for a very long time.
Maybe back there… when I was newly turned three… a visit to the hospital where I never came home. Not till another year.
As therapists would often say… ‘I’ve done a lot of work on myself’.
Not just in these last 30yrs… where I’ve studied and trained… ways to access deeper levels of memories stored in my body.
But really, right from the start.
That experience… at such a tender and vulnerable time of my development… only just turned three.
To be separated from my mother and father… my home.
Housed in an institution… not friendly and compassionate to children at that time. Surrounded by sickness and death.
Yes, of course it changed me… how could it not.
I built a solid rock wall between me and everything else. Except Nature… that was always where I felt safe, at home.
It’s still like that for me… like I need it on a soul and cellular level. I start dying without it.
So… the Kookaburra’s came. I can’t tell you what that meant for me. I thanked them from my heart.
I’m not alone in this alien place… they’ve come to be with me.
I had a very special relationship with my feathered friends at Mahalia (the property I lived). It was bird paradise.
That was my intention to create here… plant a mini forest to attract back all my friends. I need them to exist… living within this loud, noisy, busy, unaware social community.
Humans… well, lots of them, are hard to be around.
Sigh… yes, the wilderness calls me. Being ‘practical’… now in my aging years. Is that real or a con?
I guess I’ll find out.
So Kookaburra saved me… and yes, my nervous system is depleted (adrenal exhaustion) it’s all been too much, this move.
But then… moves tend to do that to me. I’ve wondered often, if it takes me back to that time I was three.
Some of those buried feelings and emotions are still yet to be allowed space to rise to the light. To be assimilated.
Some things just seem too hard.
And I’m pretty brave.
And clever.
Gifted with so much.
Showered with Divine Grace.
I’m grateful… I am.
It’s just those dark passages.
I call out for help.
And the Kookaburra came… then later with his mate.
Much Love to you… marilyn💚💚💚