Holding it all… 🌼

Holding it all sometimes feels hard… the contrasts, the kaleidoscopic angles, perceptions and views. So much contained within the whole.

The world we’ve known… for so long… decaying, falling, rotten from within. Our saintly minds refuse to see the darkness that exists in our world. Is there hope? I believe there is.

The views… the opinions, all shapes and sizes… but mostly fit into two camps. Those that walk to the familiar drum beat… and those who cannot abandon themselves… no matter what.

I’ve been alive for a while… I’m grateful too, I’ve had this chance. I’ve seen a lot, I’ve done a lot… my passions spread throughout my time. I’ve felt graced, held, kept safe… while walking though the wilds. The wilds we’ve made, I’m saying here… not the ones bequeathed by Gaia… a gift from the Great Spirit himself.

We all desire to belong… it’s built in to our security system. Alone we won’t survive… we’re made to be a part of something bigger. And of course that happens in many ways. On multiple levels.

But we can’t abandon our self.

We can never pretend or hide… not from us.

From others… yes we do. We can never hide from our self.

What’s the price of being a part? Brought home to the fold… shielded from harm. From where I stand… the price is way too high. In fact, not one to ever be considered. So why do we do what we do?

Where do we stand within ourself? Is our integrity merged with our flesh? Do we know no other way to be?

That desire seems like worlds away… yet I long for its embrace.

To live in integrity? What does that take? I feel I’m so far away… it’s a bit like a dream. Yet it’s been visiting me for a while… since this year began… and it’s offering to get close.

‘While there’s breath there’s hope’… that’s a quote of mine.

I’m living proof of that… a lifetime’s journey… seeking, searching, adventuring… finding our power.

What a journey life is.

I was thinking about that ‘10%’… the one’s that appear to live in another universe. The weirdos, the hippies, the beatniks, the witches, even our established ‘Natural Therapy’ world.

The majority, by nature… fills up the space… the others left to find their way. And man… that’s a powerful way… ’cause you gotta find it for yourself. You create you. Your creation is in your hands.

And I tell you… that feels so comforting to me. Entered my 74th birthday year… what grace. My life has been amazing… so divinely blessed and graced. Seriously. I’ve certainly been looked after.

And I’m still here. Still creating, still investigating, still adventuring, still pioneering… at a different speed, yes. But I like this one the best. Slow is good. Bring yourself down down below the noise we make (we’re the noisiest species)…

Slowing down more and more… slowing to the speed of nature. Man… what surprises lay there. This creation is the miracle of all miracles. I mean… the creativity has no bounds.

Anyways… holding it all can be a lot. I’m my unique kind of creation. My sensitivity keeps shocking me with how crazy receiving she is.

It appears to be getting more and more. Maybe it’s always been there… but all the defences I’d built to protect me… built some pretty sturdy stone walls all round. (I have a Capricorn Moon🌺).

I did a lot of trauma work (on myself) during my training as a ‘Sex Love and Relationship Coach’. It’s a somatic style of relationship focused coaching. We’re in relationship with everything.

My sensitivity can be tender… I need lotsa sacred space around me. I need sacred space to be my world. Yes a challenge…

Holding it all can feel hard. Feeling the energy of it all. Glimpses of the future and past. Some of us just naturally fit in the 10%… like we really have no choice. Not that we’re complaining… we’re pretty cool😻

Slowing down more and more… resisting the need to make you a machine.

Feeling the sensuality in the slow… your world expands… there’s so much there. And communing with the Mother… nature… that’s a necessity. All the answers lie there.

February’s a big one… Valentine’s in a couple of days. Love is definitely something to celebrate.

With Love…🥰🥰