Two years (!!!)… (Wuhan lab leak investigations) since the virus joined us… and spread its cheer… back in August/September 2019.
I remember that time… August/September 2019… it was significant. We were covered in smoke… fires decimating Oz. Even the coast wasn’t spared… It was a devastating time to witness. Month after month it continued. The human and environmental cost was enormous.
I remember that time well. It carved its bloody signature into my emotional body. And from there it went on…
September’s my birthday… a friend and I were heading up the coast… to cross the border (the days when you could)… we were hoping to get to an event that’d been planned.
The highway was chaotic… so many cars being diverted. So much chaos and confusion… and fear. And this was before our dear friend the virus made it into the headlines.
We were driving… the car’s windows closed, masks on our faces to protect us from the smoke. It was still getting in through the vents… and making its way into our lungs.
The daily reporting… scenes so horrific. We’d entered a new land of hell.
My son was in Oz for a short time… so I headed down to Adelaide to spend Christmas with him… and to be with some lovely friends. It’d been too long.
Arriving in Adelaide… descending onto the tarmac… the heat was suffocating. It was hard to breath… the temperature was 46 degrees.
Got to my friends in the hills. So lovely to be with them again.
Next morning… sitting at breakfast… my friend interrupts… ‘that’s smoke’. It was close…
The fires have followed me down
They quickly spread
The chaos, the fear… again
I flew back on New Year’s Day. Welcome 2020. Arriving back I was struggling. It was difficult to walk to the end of the airport where the shuttle was parked.
I waited… hot, overwhelmed, depleted and exhausted… spent from all the drama. The shuttle departed… back to the Byron Shire. What a relief to drive through the green and luscious Tweed Valley… it fed my weary spirit.
Back to Bruns around 7pm… still struggling to walk. Sheer will made it possible… with my heavy bag… back to the cabin.
Christmas in the campground. Filled to the max. I had no energy for any of it.
I never came back to ‘normal’… after that interval of time.
I was someone who never caught colds or flu (all my life)… and if one managed to take hold within 24hrs it’d cleared. 48hrs at most.
But I never felt the same.
Now I had flu like colds that lasted for weeks and weeks and weeks.
When the virus made it to the news… I wondered if I’d picked it up over that Christmas period… hanging out in excessively crowded airports and packed planes.
But we weren’t aware of the virus then.
I’ve never returned to what I was before… maybe we never do
Who knows. Stress itself can have an enormous effect on the body. And the collective emotional presence can be super overwhelming. Lotsa chaos impacts us.
Bits and pieces still coming to the surface.
Our world has changed… and it’s looking like that will continue for some time yet.
What do we keep… what do we release
What makes sense?
Our humanity… our love, our care, our kindness
way too precious… far too expensive
to ever let drift away.
Can we take a few steps back… in our fear, in our collective confusion
Can we just be people finding our way in a new world… a world that will continue to change
Can we respect each other
There is no going back to ‘normal’
that won’t happen
it’s too late now
it’s changed for good
What kind of world do we want to replace it with
Yeah it’s tricky… can we live from kindness and care
So many new choices we need to make…
protect ourselves from the onslaught of attack
Certainly is reminiscent at times… of times way back when
some things keep cycling back…
time to create brand new pathways
I hope so.