I’m just about functioning ~ promised myself a month off. Today’s the first day. I’m in a strange and new place. The exhaustion’s familiar… the come to a stop. But the place I’m in within and between… is new.
It’s kinda low… ’cause exhaustion is weighty, it pulls you down. Gravity force is strong.
At the same time… there’s this elevation, clear skies and more light. It’s clear up here.
Don’t think I’ve been here before.
Every day is new, every moment.. Life’s extraordinary like that. Her expansive creativity never needs to repeat. Every moment original. Just imagine the scope!!
The moment may be brand new, but the files and tapes we carry, broadcasting constantly… are old. Really old.
So we’re kinda here… but not. Living some time else.
This new space ~ feels elevated. Heavy and Light both at the same time.
It feels free… unchained.
I’ve arrived somewhere new.
Been travelling. Covering ground. Though you never really know where you’ll arrive at.
Life is fun and creative like that.
I sent off the last Major (yesterday)… last dragging bit of the Coaching training.
This was a BIG crossing… I could feel it.
The old Terror was activated.
I didn’t know if I could do it. This last bit seemed insurmountable.
It was full of so much… the ‘old stuff’. The old terror was being stirred.
Almost walked away. I’d completed and graduated from all the rest of the training… I didn’t need to do this.
Then old Warrior Marilyn surfaced (brings back many memories)… she’s been around for a long time. Since way back when. I remember. Some amazing scrapes she’s got me out of.
I forget her… caught up in the heavy weights. The wounds and bruises. The Loss… man can they weigh heavy. Then out of the blue she arrives… her will is forged in steel. She’s not letting go. You can’t budge her.
I’m so glad I have her. Man… have I needed her. I desire to remember her more.
With that will of steel… unfortunately, temperance can slip. Super focused on what needs to be done. Poor body gets dragged along.
It was more than the body this time… more than pushing her too hard. It was the territories I crossed… the lands I navigated. The invisible barriers I had to cross. Uncovering stuff buried super deep. Never meant to be uncovered. Hard territory.
‘I did it’… I wrote, accompanying my graduation material. I did it… but way more than was included in those words, pages and audio.
I’m in a new place.
My body, mind, emotional bodies are tired… very tired. I’m giving myself a month. I hope I can honour that. Not get tempted back into the fray.
Next is the moving… the offer on my cabin. Not even sure where to start with that.
Who do I need to help me with that?
We’re heading toward my favourite Ritualistic Celebration of the year… the Winter Solstice.
Have a happy life… seek love and peace and luscious nurturing.