loving myself ❤️

The two foundational ‘Integrative Powers’ in the coaching journey are ~ clarity and acceptance.

First we must become clear on what it is we desire. What it is we want to achieve. What our being most longs for.

Becoming clear on our objective ~ we then consider ~ can I accept this desire, this wish, this longing?  Can I accept the feelings, emotions and bodily sensations that arise with this desire?  The most affective transformation sits on acceptance.  Its finding a true place of acceptance somewhere in your body/mind.

I guess we could ask ~ do I accept myself?  Do I accept my desires and wishes?  Do I accept my right to choose?  Do I accept the deep core of my being?

I did a luscious Rest Retreat with Kylian Martin at the beginning of the year.  I know some deep part of me needs deep rest so badly.  It sometimes feels as if I’ve been wound up so tight for so long… my body’s frozen in this position and unable to release.

So much trying, so much achieving, so much compromise, so much shutting off and out.  So much trying to squeeze into a shape you never were made to fit.

During the Deep Rest Retreat Kylian invited us to create an intention.  The words popped into my head straight away… ‘I honour the beauty of my being’.  I said it over and over.

Last year deeply immersed in the intensive coaching training I was involved in… I became aware of how much my experience of self-love was growing, in a way I’d not experienced before.  I really was putting myself first, taking special care of myself.

Life happens ~ and many things can pop up onto your path, diverting the direction and scenery for a while.  I’m not quite sure what sparked it off… this intense focus on my family/ancestral healing.

I suspect it was due to the deep dives into my body and psyche… our trauma training took me.  Being a Virgo I have a particularly active body/mind connection going on.  Anything comes up ~ I feel it straight away someplace in my body.

Being seventy I’ve had lotsa time to get stuck in some habitual grooves… I’m ever grateful for my passion for healing.  Who knows how far we’ll get along this golden path.  But while there’s breath, there’s hope (that was a marilyn quote).

So these last six months… since just before my birthday in September, the gates opened and in flowed the tsunami.  And I’ve been feeling every bit of it in my body.  And somehow amid it all I’ve forgotten all about loving me.

Sometimes it’s hard if your body hurts, your head feels weird, or you’re feeling isolated and cut off… drowning in a sea of people.  But we are the only one who is always here.  Always available (whether we’re conscious of it or not).  Always on your side, always knows the whole story, always knows your incredible worth, always loves you more than anyone could possible hope to.

So clawing my way back onto the path of self love.  Not sure how I slipped off it.  And yes of course I resist, I procrastinate, I hesitate, I doubt, I wallow in my pain.  But yes… maybe, just maybe I do everything I do,  because … I know best.

much love to you ~ marilyn ❤️💋❤️

(tried typing these words directly on the keyboard… I normally write by hand directly into my journal.  Then sometimes also type them into the computer.  Means doing it twice.  So trying different ways to see if there’s a notable difference in the transmission.  As I’ve always been a hand writer)

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