my hunger for life💚

It’s St Patrick’s Day 💚  Celebrating my ancestral roots… those rich green magickal lands of Ireland.

I celebrated with a sunny spot at my favourite corner coffee shop… just across from where I live. Haven’t been there much in a while… as I’ve wiped coffee from my life.  I never have drank much, and when I do its half strength and milky.  It’s just my dose of social interaction.  ‘Cause I spend a lot of time alone.

Went for an early swim before… the water was warm, the tide was in.  I only go out the back (of my cabin) when the tide is high… as I need to float or swim through the mangroves to get to the open space of the river.  Well it’s actually called a creek.  But it’s not like any creek I’ve known before. It’s long and it’s wide… and deep. Yep looks more like a river than a creek.

It branches off from the Brunswick river not far from my cabin.  And that part of the river is close to the river’s mouth at the ocean.  So you could say on each high tide the river/creek is filled with ocean water.  It’s mostly clear and clean.  Only after heavy rain and storms does it show some debris floating by.

My hunger for life.  I think it’s always been that way.  I fought for my life all those years ago.  I stepped up to the plate, stretched out, felt the pull to express.  I was passionate about life.  Passionate about growth, wellbeing and health.  You could say I was a passionate girl.

I got off pretty scot free… or so it seemed.  Having been hit from that super virile virus so young… I appeared to fully recover.  And so set off to climb my mountains.  I was enthusiastic and willing. Something kept pulling me on.

Then slowly things began to appear.  Around fifty was the start of it… the Chiron Return?  It’s also a time for woman when her hormonal fluctuations begin to manifest.  I never experienced the classic signs of menopause… then I never experience the classic signs of anything.  That’s the problem.  As most solutions are for classic signs.  Those other ones are a mystery to everyone.

But I’ve always loved a mystery.  I certainly don’t lack in the curiosity department.  I’m an eternal student… always curious, always learning.  I’m highly sensitive… so I see, hear and experience things above and beyond.  It gets lonely sometimes (often🙁) ’cause there don’t appear to be herds of people aligned with my vibration. Let’s just say there’s not a lot. Sometimes I feel like a galactic import… from another dimension in time and space.   Yet I love Earth… and I love being here.

I don’t give up.  I can have a dog with a bone thing happening sometimes.  It works both ways.  I could let go more.  But I live in me.  I live in my body, I know what goes on and how it feels.  I’m pretty smart.  I perceive things at their core at times.  And yes like any other human… I can be blind, make mistakes and move into denial.  So where does that leave us?  Which side of the line do you stand?  With what others think? Or what you know?

It’s a lonely path at times.

I’m sooooo grateful for my hunger for Life.

lotsa love ~ marilyn🧚‍♂️💋🧚‍♂️

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