Gentle Okayness 💚💚

I need to be ever present,  and aware of how I use my body.

The Ortho-Bionomy session was amazing.  So skilled and gifted the therapist.   We ‘pair’ really well.

A time of finding, creating a new foundation… on which to rest, live and be.  My foundation prior had been built on centuries of pain and heartbreak.

It morphed into my cells… settled and formed in my bones.  It became me, but wasn’t me.  Wasn’t even a tug of war… it became a stalemate; a paralysis of time and space.  Interwoven, intertwined into everything.  But underneath the original imprint remained.  It’s heartbeat faint,  existing in a suspended state.  Stiff, unbending… held in another time.  Like Sleeping Beauty encased in glass.

The Faerie Godmother then touched me with her magick wand… and broke the spell.

So much unfolded in this masterful session.  My left leg, paralysed so long ago… presented in such an exquisite way.   So pure, untouched and sacred.  Carrying the innocence of long ago.  The ‘opening’ of my left hip in the previous session created a visceral foundation of strength… a new possibility of being.  

The connection between my shoulder and neck with my hips and sacrum.  The pain was intense.  The body stores everything… on all levels of experience.   The deep, deep pain in my solar plexus…  so old, so ancient, so constricted, so buried; so painful.

The unravelling continues… impassioned by the desire to be who I am.

We are way more courageous than we understand.  To strive for more,  to turn around and face the ghosts; those shadows that’ve walked with us for so long… those things we’ve been running from.

The Hero’s journey takes courage, yes… but what other option is there?

It’s innate in us to return home to our self.


marilyn 💖💖💖

Brewing in the cauldron

The pic above was not taken by me (author unknown) and I’m not sure how this image relates to this post ~ ‘Brewing in the cauldron’.  Maybe incidental… yet  I know there’s no such thing.

Many were super excited and thrilled to see these beautiful flags appear on the Brunswick Heads bridge; crossing the river to the beach.  I didn’t get to see them up front and personal…  they were only there for two days.  A neighbour alerted me to their sudden appearance… ‘have you seen the flags down on the car bridge?’ he said excitedly.   His emotions beaming off him.

Such beautiful flags… I was hoping they’d become a permanent fixture.  But alas, not yet.  Maybe this is something ‘brewing in the cauldron’.  Getting ready to birth.

I guess what’s ‘brewing’ is all around… taking the time needed to allow the magick to unfold.  The alchemical process of life.  The natural laws of Life always governing.  Moving with these forces, aligning our self with their rhythm and movement… creates a flowing existence for everything.

Seems such a fine line at times.  Allowing the gentle unfolding, the ‘brewing’ I feel stirring inside me.  And keeping an eye on resistance and procrastination.  ‘Cause really… I’m never going to be perfect enough, so may as well begin right now.  This moment of now will never repeat.  It’s a hard one to get my head around.

We’re perfectly imperfect.  And ain’t that grand.  Would be a real pain to have perfect people running around; eeek the thought… Stephford Wives on steroids.

No, imperfect we are.  But turning our gaze inside for a bit… feeling the movement and swirl of these creations getting ready to birth.  Inside our body.  Bit like the cosmos itself… birthing, creating, bringing to life.  In the magick way only it knows how.

Life is amazing, fascinating and awesome.  We are part of the cosmos… we’re created from Star matter.  We are one with everything… same Life Force running though our veins.  Same magick constantly happening… Creation constantly in motion.

Last year was big.  And yes, the year before that and the year before that.  Last year ~ inspired and guided by the great benevolent hand of Life, I turned and faced my demons.  Shadows that had long been hidden.   Everything seeks inclusion and wholeness.  Every part of us seeks love, acceptance and healing.

My motivation and ‘courage’ in choosing such a thing was healing the ocean.  I know that may sound super idealistic…  I am an ‘idealist’ (an INFJ in Myers Briggs).  But it wasn’t blind faith… I need to see and hear and feel.  My Earth Sun and Moon bestow that primary focus on me.

My heritage and  gifts blessed me with heightened sensory perception.  Meaning… at times I see and hear and feel ‘behind the veil’.  The non-material, the unmanifest.  I don’t think this is particularly peculiar for a human to experience… I’m sure animals and other forms of natural life experience this heightened perception.

‘I got the message’ so to speak…  it’s like an impulse that stirs deep inside and I know I need to respond.  I need to listen, to act, to ask, to proceed.

Yes ‘healing the oceans’ was my inspiration to saying yes to the intense coaching training programme offered.  The journey’s been deep.  Working with Tantric and Somatic techniques and principles… diving deep into my body and psyche.

I uncovered things I’d not known existed.  Shadow pieces operating in my unconscious… that never saw the light of day.  Except of course reflected in the things I attracted into my life.  As we are so we live, as we are aware we create.  As we do so we become.  As we feel so we manifest.

Was it brave… I’ve seen this quote often (author unknown):

‘Family dysfunction rolls down from generation to generation, like a fire in the woods, taking down everything in its path until one person in one generation has the courage to turn and face the flames.  That person brings peace to their ancestors and spares the children that follow.’ 

I understand that it happens that way… but is it courageous?  In a way yes.  But I don’t see it that way.  We are one part of a continuum…  a part of a tribe, family, community.  We are part of Earth’s community.  I didn’t set out to heal my family line.  I heard a call and I responded.

My sensitivity allows me to go deeper… a knowing and a sense arose showing me that this path was a great healing path.  The next step in my healing and thus the healing of the whole.  My love and deep sense of connection with the Earth is natural for me. To care, to love, to honour, to be a part of… is a natural response for a human being.

How can we feel disconnected with life if we are a part of it?

Anyways… it’s brewing.  All the deep diving last year, the deep, deep rest of January… the learning; a new pace to move and approach everything.  To trust myself.  To give myself time… to focus on my internal world and watch it manifest into the here and now.

I don’t think we ever stop learning and evolving… and thank god for that.

Donning my witches hat, stirring with my favourite giant wooden spoon; the bubbling, smoking, licentious, magickal steaming brew.  Manifestation in process.  All super exciting… when I remember.

Wishing you all you wish for your wondrous Self ❤️❤️❤️