Ohhhh… dear Snowie (my long time Feline Companion) I miss her so much. Here she is at Mahalia ~ the Sacred Healing Space we lived for bit over six years. I left her with a friend (who loved her)… ’cause I had no idea where I was heading.
She knew ~ I knew she knew. Through the whole moving process ~ over many months, her calm acceptance was at first surprising. Cats can be easily disturbed by any change in their environment. Yet through all the upheaval she remained relaxed, calm and accepting. I knew she knew… that I couldn’t take her with me; even though it broke my heart… I sensed she understood. Tears still. Oh Snowie ~ how I’d love to see you again.
Sooooo much has changed since that day I handed her over to my friend ~ day before leaving our sacred space for the last time. I feel the changes have rippled powerfully through every level of my being. The first year away was hard… my body really struggled. Moving twelve times in one year! For someone with Sun snuggled at the very bottom of her birth chart… my own private sacred space has always been crucial for me. I was doing something I’d never done… stepping out into the complete unknown.
Would I recommend it ~ I don’t know. Was it necessary for me ~ I guess it was ’cause I chose it and it happened. I’m kinda strongly guided by my own inner vision and knowing. I hear and see things sometimes ~ meaning visionary things, voices/messages. I’m at a stage in my life where I’ve accepted it. Took a while. I understood the trait ran in my family… I grew up with it. It still took a long time to trust and acknowledge it. Somethings are just impossible to analyse or prove. Specially for an analytical Virgo😊
I guess this post is a bit for me ~ a kind of acknowledgement and letting go… a kind of chord cutting. So I can truly step into my next chapter. I’ve been working hard this year. Going deep into myself, depth diving into my body and psyche… in the coaching training I’ve been involved with. So much has changed, so much has re-arranged. So much has been released. So much has been accepted. So much has been healed. It’s been an enormous year.
Change is hard. Lets face it. It is. We get used to things, we get attached to things. We identify with things. And when they’re gone… we can feel lost, wonder who on earth we are. Big change is huge. But even though it’s taken me to the edge at times during these last two years… I know it was the only way (for me) to truly discover the depth of myself. Minus all the baggage, the residues of trauma. All the dysfunction, missing pieces and cut off bits of myself. I needed to find them all. I needed to be whole again.
I’m still finishing my training… and still integrating everything into myself. Into my body and psyche. It’s been a really big couple of years. And knowing things as I do I figure it’s been that way for many people. We’re living in major times of break down and renewal. And as everything is one… we’re all going through it.
What I most love and appreciate about myself is that I luv to grow and evolve… to become more and more and more of who I really am. And even though I can get paralysed with fear… I’m also super brave and courageous. I’m really beginning to love and honour myself. It feels really good.
Much love ~ and thanks for letting me share some of my journey ❤️❤️