Chiron… the wound that remains


It’s Anzac Day.  An emotional day at any time… but especially now. With the recent onslaught of intensity blasting our Earth… our minds, our bodies have been going through a lot.  I’ve said it many times… but yes, we presently live in very big times.

It can be difficult to find words for feelings… you know they’re there but how to express them?  I’m feeling a mixture of different emotions, it appears they’ve been released into my bloodstream, and are coursing through my body.  Looking a little closer, where do I feel it?

Behind my eyes I feel the tears building, my throat appears a little constricted.  A lot happening around my head. What am I seeing that is causing the pain?  Well… today?  Where do I start?

I live in a country experiencing its darkest time… ohhh dear Australia, such an ancient, ancient land.  Yes, I know this disease has spread far and wide… around our world, not many untouched.

Yes, it’s been known for ages, long before, that this time would arise… the end of the end, of a direction that’s lost it’s way.

But I’m a part of this enormous circle… the circle of Life, the gathering of the human family. Each of us contributing to the life we’re living.

So I take a step back to look at myself… what am I feeling , what am I seeing inside me?

What are these tears, from where do they come?  Everything presented comes with a message.  The need to decipher.

Yesterday I travelled on the bus to the local town, living in the country, travel becomes a part of life.  I was feeling subdued, not my usual cheery self, I saw it was noticed but I had no energy to converse. The heaviness weighted down, so many problems I saw.  I almost gave up… ‘can’t do this anymore’.  Not like my usual self.   But maybe there needs to be a time where we face our wall, do we come to the finish… or do we find a way to climb?

I could see the battle on so many faces, the energy was palpable… ‘the Grand Cross’ I thought, is definitely present.  Not many smiles in town yesterday… the energy was heavy and very sad.  Were they all feeling like me… ready to give up?

Back home on the bus… another silent journey. I just didn’t care what people thought or needed.  I needed me, I needed to be quiet.

As I drove up my hill, to my wondrous sanctuary, exhausted and feeling sick in the stomach… I knew a lot was happening.  Looks like I’ve picked up a bit of a bug.  Picked up you say… no, it’s your war you’re fighting.

Is that what it is… we’re fighting our own wars?

Having taught myself Astrology at the tender age of eleven, my Gypsy heritage rising to the surface, I look to the ‘Stars’.  Yes, hard to miss the Cardinal Grand Square, the 5th Pluto/Uranus square and the two Eclipses… all within the month of April!!  But looking a little closer there it is… Chiron sitting exactly at the top of my chart… opposing my Sun and sextiling my Moon.

Ahhh… the ancient wounding of the feminine, the destructive slaughtering of the oppressor.  It’s gone on for so long… generation after generation of fighting and war.  The wounding’s not restricted to the battle front… oh no, it lives on.  House by house, suburb after suburb, town after town, country after country…. generation after generation. The wound continues to fester… growing bigger but hiding deeper.

The feminine holds the key to Healing.  The Mother, Mother Earth… she’s everywhere we look.

So it’s Anzac day… people all over gather at dawn, the bugel plays. Oh yes, it’s emotional and so very sad, that precious lives were slaughtered at war. But the war is still here… we carry it inside. Generations later, we still suffer the wounds, the wounds that were brought home from the battle front.  And continue to fester….


lotsa luv… marilynxxx


a passage in my 1st book…



Lots of memories are still hidden… deeply, down in corners invisible to my seeing.  At least at the moment.  As I heal, areas of my body that have been shut down, restricted, paralysed, without movement… removed from my usage, are slowly released from the trauma that held them. As they release, the memories come streaming out. Such an awesome creation, this human body. Obviously created by a Master Creator.

We’ve all just experienced a high energy time… it’s April 2014, a big month in a big year. The year of the Yang Wood Horse “The energy from 2014 marks an important time for letting go of restraints. The phoenix journey of this mid transitional period in time has already started taking effect and 2014 brings us all fully into a time of increased austerity and autonomy.”

Lotsa action, lotsa purpose… a time for doing and undoing.  April comes with two Eclipses… the Full Moon just gone, on the 15th of this month, the New Moon Eclipse closing the month on the 29th. Sitting in the middle of these two big energy events is the 5th ‘happening’ of Pluto and Uranus. Since 2012 Pluto and Uranus have been coming together in a less than comfortable configuration. In Astrology  it’s called a ‘square’, when two planets sit 90 degrees (give or take a degree or two) apart. This forms a confrontational approach. The two parties experiencing a challenging relationship.  But squares create results… they can be great learning tools. As the relationship formed by this meeting, requires a resolution… a result, an answer. Something’s got to give.

Pluto and Uranus are two big players in our planetary system. They are two of the most distant planets from our Earth and Sun. Pluto is known as the transformer, he carries a power likened to atomic energy.

He can be brutal, he’s one pointed and can be heavy-handed.  He represents Life, and anything no longer supporting Life… has to go. The rising of the Phoenix from the ashes… is an apt symbolism for him. His purpose is to destroy… all that’s decayed and rotting. He’s pretty busy at the moment… working on all our systems. The ones we built to help us grow and thrive… but somewhere along the way greed took over, the original purpose forgotten. Pluto has come to remind us… but unfortunately he’s not blessed with a gentle bedside manner. He sniffs out the rot and in he goes… kebang… gone, only flames left burning. Only Life will rise from this smouldering pile… the dead remains buried deeply in the ground, to be transformed once again… into Life supporting resources.

Uranus, the third most distant known planet to us here on Earth… is known in Astrology as the ruler of Aquarius. He belongs to the world of tomorrow… his focus is on the whole of humanity. His vision is keen, his mind is electric. He moves pretty quickly… and often without warning. He’s ushering in the Aquarian age… the age of Peace on Earth.  He ushers us in, he shows us the way… to the new world awaiting our arrival. He’s electric, he’s brilliant… he has many flashes of insight. He can be eccentric in his ways… he’s not a great fan of the traditional. He’s a born rebel.  He does his own thing.

So… even though they stand challenging each other… Pluto with his desire to just blow the whole lot up and start again… Uranus saying ‘no,no… there’s another way’, ‘just give them the vision, awaken them from their slumber… they will see and they will follow. Those that don’t… well, they’re all yours.

They are working together… all of Life supports life, that’s their focus. Pluto and Uranus are here to help, with the final finish of the age that’s just passing… and the new age, the new world which has already birthed back in the last quarter of 2012. So even thou they appear to be warring with each other… they are actually working together. All of life supports Life… it’s only human beings who sell their soul,…that allow the destruction to be and continue. The Faustian deal.

‘Faust and the adjective Faustina imply a situation in which an ambitious person surrenders moral integrity in order to achieve power and success for a delimited term. The person offers his or her soul in exchange for diabolical favours. Those favours vary by the tale, but tend to include youth, knowledge, wealth, or power”. Wikipedia.   Sound familiar?  A lot of that about in our modern world. It’s also said “The tale may have a moralizing end, with eternal damnation for the foolhardy venturer.”

It’s a time of great change… that it is. This massive influx of such mighty powerful energy affects us all. Those of us still blessed with the gift of Life, have lived through this dying age. It’s been our life, or so we thought. It’s shaped us, it’s so very familiar.  It’s surrounded us day after day after day.  We see it all around us… the results of our striving.  We work within it, we live within it, we eat within it, we breathe within it.  And now it’s changing… and fast.  It’s a time of crumbling for all those structures made of lifeless materials. The Devil has returned for his payment.

What have we sold… for our lifestyles, our pleasures?  Have we truly given our soul away? Our connection to ‘heaven’, our connection to our real ‘God’.  What have we allowed to happen… as we’ve slept, in our drug induced coma.  Drugs? You say… ‘I don’t take drugs’, don’t you?  There are many and varied forms of drugging.  And they have been quietly and secretly placed everywhere.  In the very air we breath, the water we drink, the food we eat. The structures that surround us… the images and visuals that we allow our eyes and ears to take into our bodies. Yes, most definitely, we’ve been contaminated.

But that needn’t be our focus. In fact, it’s not a good idea. We need to focus on what we want to create. To do that, we need to know what we need. What we really need, not what we want. We can do that… just keep asking ‘why?’   Every time we want something, ask…why, why, why?   If we keep going back we’ll arrive at what we really need.  We need to be happy, we need to feel content, we need to feel love, stability and security… we need food and water, we need shelter for our body. We need to feel inspired, we need to create, we need to feel worthy, we need to feel acknowledged. We need to be real.  We need to be a human being.

All has not been in vain. This time of confusion, greed and so much destruction… so much pain.  We’re a human being, we do have a soul… a heart that feels everything that lives.  We have learnt many lessons over these many years.  We now need to acknowledge them, understand them… and make a decision to be a part of Life.  Big times require big people… people who stand in their power, with big Hearts and big Loves… big Kindness and big Generosity. The big times have arrived. And they’re calling us… to stand in our powerful Self… and respond to the call of Life.


lotsa luv…. marilynxxx

where do we stand… to where are we heading?


As the Sun sets on another day.  The day, our reality… all that is.  Nothing before and nothing after… where am I now?  What am I doing?

Today is the Eclipse, the first of the cycle of Blood Moons… already mentioned by many.  Today’s Moon is part of a ‘Tetrad’… one of four consecutive Total Lunar Eclipses, with no partial Eclipses in between.  Each is separated from the other by six Lunar months (Full Moons).  There are a total of eight Tetrads in the 21st century.

This Eclipse is broadcasting widely and over an extended period of time… the energy of Libra and Aries.  The relationship we have with ourself, our Earth, our home… our brothers and sisters.  Our global family… such a variety of life forms here on Planet Earth.  We are a family… families protect each other.

And our desire for action and adventure… creating our new beginnings.  Aries begins the zodiacal wheel, this is where it all begins.  The start of something new.  The powerful desire to be free, to be who we are.  Mars, the ruler of Aries… the passionate Warrior self within.

I’m sure you’ve all guessed by now… these are no normal, business as usual times.  Revolution was predicted, by many long ago… they saw the people standing up, demanding to have a say.  Their inner life force compelling them… to live and be safe.   The power of the urge to live and protect… is mighty indeed.

gorgeous x

This Eclipse beams powerful Goddess energy.  Ceres and Vesta sit with the Moon, Juno sits with the Sun.  This is major Goddess energy… we are not alone.  We have entered a new level of this new world that birthed back in 2012.  The presence of the Goddess can be ‘seen’ by some.  They are here… they ask us to join them, to build and magnify the power of the Feminine.  The Earth and her children need this now.  This is the last battle.  The fight to destroy the Feminine has been happening for a very, very long time.  Some say 6,000 years.  The Earth is the Mother… the greatest symbol and manifestation of the Feminine.

The Goddess energy is real and present… they will not allow the Earth to be destroyed.  Their presence is palpable here on Earth and they’re radiating mighty powerful energy.  They are here to take the throne.  The Feminine cannot be destroyed.  As Yin and Yang… the great circle, these are the two great powers of the life force… manifest in form.  The Divine Feminine cannot be destroyed.

This is the great time…  the return of Goddess rule.  The ending of an age where she was imprisoned, burnt, flogged and simply dismissed… this time has finished.  The new world has birthed… I saw it happen.  I have no doubt it’s here.  A new door recently opened… the next stage of the new world birthing, has been claimed…  Goddess Power is back, to stay.  Ushering in the new age of Love and Peace.

Ceres is the great Mother, the protector, the nurturer.  Vesta is the keeper of the Sacred Flame, her life is committed to keeping this flame alight.  Juno was a queen, married to Jupiter king of the gods… she found her voice and used it.  She radiates personal power… she leads us to our heroic self.   Governing the cycles of a woman’s life, she understands, completely, the power we carry within.  She is here reflecting this back to us.

Fixed stars Spica and Arcturus also join the Moon in this gathering.  Spica shines a powerful and positive ray of light, denoting good luck and success.  Arcturus gives riches, honours and high renown… self-determination and prosperity ‘by navigation and voyages’.

So… time for a big, deep breath.  Connected to our centre, we will be guided home.

Yes, the pressure can be felt… but we were born free, and free we will remain.


lotsa luv…. marilynxxx



well it’s well over a week….


… since my weekly blog post was scheduled, a lot’s been happening.  But I do like to remain committed.  To my writing.

If you’re interested in Astrology, it’s possible you’ve heard about the Cardinal Grand Cross forming in our skies… and both a New Moon and Full Moon Eclipse.  Big month April.  Oh, and of course, the 5th exact Pluto/Uranus ‘square’…  a challenging, growth promoting, life changing, world changing energy in our current world.

The energies are big, they illicit a response.  But how we respond is our choice.

I’ve been aware of my body for a while now.  Those who don’t know, I ‘stopped’ back in March 2011.  My central nervous system decided to wave the white flag…. ‘truce please truce’.  I’m not an easy one to stop.  I still struggle and resist.  I’m a Virgo, I like to do things.  Makes things neat and tidy, to heal and make beautiful.  That’s not too much to ask, is it?

My focus these last three years has been healing.  I have a strong drive to improve, to discover, to move beyond our current understanding.  To grow, to learn, to share.  Life is a magickal journey of discovery.  I like to look towards the sky, that ever protective arc of blue.  The distant planets and stars sitting gloriously in our evening sky.  I feel the earth beneath my feet… the love travels through my meridians, to my energy centres, feeding my body and nourishing my emotions.  We’ve been created from the intelligence of Life, awesome material, the primordial flame that keeps our inner core alight.

We’re pretty cool stuff…

Back to my body, back to my needs.. (it’s easy for me to be diverted from this).  I’ve been finding things a peep overwhelming of late.  I don’t experience this as often as I did.  I’ve been building my muscles.  Yes, I know… the Cardinal Grand Cross, the two Eclipses.  And my natal Moon is joining in this massive joining in the sky.  My Moon… she’s really on display.  She usually likes to keep a low profile, which really p….eaves Miss Venus in Leo.  But she’s taken on the vibrations of Capricorn and Saturn, she can be a little serious and ever hardworking. And sitting in Scorpio’s house, the 8th… she’s pretty private, and a wee bit psychic.  So many feelings everywhere… I need recovery time, every time I go out.  Even a trip to Woodenbong (a little village) will do it.  It’s great being sensitive… but geez.

It seems to take a lot of connection to myself… to really trust my first instinct.  I have a therapist friend who use to remind me of that quite regularly.  I can be a slow learner, for one who was gifted a keen intelligence.  Then again I live differently now, I’m sixty-five and I live in the country… and have a strong desire to write, and take photos.  Forever trying to capture the beauty.  But alas, Beauty cannot be caught.  This growing awareness happening within me… that changes are required and soon.  I need a hand, I do… to caretake this special place.  Or is it time to move on, I don’t know.  Different cycles require different things.

There’s no need to go into reasons.  I just need to listen to my needs.  I know what my intentions are, they’re quite clear… I’m healing.  That’s first on my list.  I’m healing something that has been with me a very long time, most of my life.  That doesn’t daunt me… everything improves if given the chance, with time.  We need to set our levels high.  This is our life, it’s an important time.

So much more is now understood.  Well, some were aware a long time ago… but as a collective we take a bit longer to get it.  Many new discoveries now… of how the body and mind function.  I suspect we see only a little.  Life is magick, it is… that’s how it was made.  We were created to enjoy, to experience love and peace in our lives.  We were created by one that was very, very kind.

So what are the changes that are required?  From me?  What do I need to do differently?  I live on a beautiful property, a gorgeous house that’s quite substantial, I like my environment to be cared for… loved and given attention.  I purchased this property with a definite goal in mind.  I was going to open a rural Healing Retreat space, I’d had the vision for many years.  I’d already created a Healing Centre in the city, that was only eight years ago now… gosh so much has changed in that time.  Hasn’t it?  I know it has for me.

I use to be a little Energizer Bunny.  Gosh,when I think of what I use to do.  I was driven to do, to improve… to make beautiful, to heal.  In Chinese Astrology… I have an overload of Rat energy.  In my ‘Four Pillars’,  three are Rats!  Geez, no wonder.  They’re very active those little Ratties.  They’re not ones to sit around on the couch all day, it makes them very nervous.  They like to do things.

‘I am the self-proclaimed aquisitor.  I am a link yet I function as a complete unit.  I aim at encompassing heights and strike my target, sure and steady.  Life is one joyous journey for me.  Each search must end with a new quest.  I am progress, exploration and insight.  I am the womb of activity.  I am the Rat’…. Theodora Lau

But things are changing… have changed.  I sit in a different place.  A journey that began, has taken me here.  Trusting myself so imperative now.  If I look to the past, I feel remorse, for all that’s no longer.  If I look to the future, I don’t know, what will be.  I only have now.  And now, I can no longer do what I once did.  I cannot be continually active.  My body has changed, is changing and will continue to change.  That’s why my focus is so important… I’m constantly creating my world.

I’m finding I just want to write… to take photos, to write books, make videos… there’s so much to communicate right now.  Maybe we’re being called, to stand and accept our dharma… do what only I can, you can, do.  We are unique.  The seven billion of us… unique.  I feel we are being called… to stand in our uniqueness… to use the skills and talents we were gifted with.  We came already with everything we need… we’ve just polished some things along the way.

We need to operate from Heart… from Love and Peace.  We need to be what we are…. Divinely created beings of Light and Love.  With a capacity to create miracles.  We all have within us the flame, the spark of the Divine.

The time is now.

No, it’s not always easy… when there’s so much movement, so many strong energies competing for our attention.  We’re living through a unique time… possibly one that’s not happened ever before.

The birthing of the Golden Age.

I need to be clear… I need to trust implicitly, my inner voice.  This journey is a big one… it wants all of me.


lotsa luv