some days are difficult . . .

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in my front garden . . . .

 

I believe in Healing . . . I do . . . it’s not just trying to convince myself . . . I ‘know’ it’s a reality.  But boy . . .  is it a journey!  And no telling how long it’s going to take . . . it takes the time, that’s needed.  I’m learning so much . . . my biggest lessons, and there are many, ‘letting go’, ‘trusting’ . . . having patience . . . and living in the moment.  Well, the last one’s not that difficult even for one with an over-active, over-stimulated brain like mine . . . ’cause I’m also very sensitive to Energy . . . to all the Beauty and Love . . . that surrounds me . . . constantly.

I mentioned on the last blog that I’d undertaken a Healing Intensive mid-way thru (I like to write it this way) last December.  Well, it wasn’t a new concept as I’d already been on one for nearly two years by then.  Somethings just take the time they do . . . and there’s no rushing them.  I also mentioned that I’m now in . . . well actually just past . . . the second month.  I set the time, this three-month thing . . . who knows, it may need longer.  But as far as the three-month thing goes . . . I’m on the home stretch.  Well. . . there are days where I feel I’m deeper into . ..  whatever this is . . . than ever before.

You see . . . I contracted the Polio virus when I was a wee young girl . .  three, to be exact.  Now, it’s not something I ever spoke of . . or gave any attention to.  Yes, my physical Body showed the effects . .  but I became very good at hiding those.  Now, as I’ve said many times before . . . I’m not fond of labels . . . and even less fond of the modern medical system.  I’m not putting them down here . . . I’m not . . . they just don’t work for me . . . and never have.  I can’t ignore that.  So my search for answers always came down to me . . . my discovery, my understanding.  I know more about my Body than anyone else . . . as do we all.

Over the last years I’ve often referred to ‘my Body and me’ . . . it’s been a long journey . . . full of discovery.

The last few years have been particularly interesting.  They have been focused, entirely, on Healing.  Now . . . I ‘use to be’ a very active girl . .  hey, I’m a double Rat (Chinese Astrology) . . . and a Virgo, Capricorn Moon . . . and a very busy Gemini rising.  Not one for sitting on the sidelines waiting for things to happen.

Three years ago . .  my focus, aim and wholesome wish . . . was to create a Sacred Healing Environment . . . I felt it was ‘time’ and it was ‘needed’.  Well, yes it was . . . but by me.  I’ve never done so little . . . ever!!  Hours upon hours I’ve laid horizontal on my sun-bed, on my beautiful verandah.  This incredibly special, Sacred place . . . I called Mahalia . . . was given to me . . . for my Healing . . . and it continues.

It’s just some days are more difficult than others.

Some days I feel I’m improving . . . then there are others where, well, it’s really a struggle.  I’m not so affected anymore (well . . . as much!!!) by watching the grass grow, the garden go wild . . . ’cause there’s nothing I can really do.  Letting go  . . . has been such a big one.  especially for a little fussy Virgo like me.

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my dear friend Snowie

 

Yesterday I went on the bus to Kyogle . . . first time I’ve been on the bus for ages.  I knew I could no longer do the longer trip to Lismore, I just couldn’t.  But I wanted to get some supplies, especially some vegie and flower seeds . . . I wanted to do some planting . .  it’s a supportive Moon cycle.  Catching the bus means you’re in Kyogle for 6 hours . . . later bus arrives around 9am . .  and leaves just before 3pm.  It’s a long day . . . especially when you’re not used to it.

Since the 3 months ‘Intensive’ began I’ve done even less than before . . . no bus trips.  It was a long day and I had to carry groceries, even thou I took my trolley.  By the end of the day I was really struggling.  Last night I lay flat in front of the TV . . . I don’t watch much TV these days, I find it too grosse  . . . I was just too tired to move.  . . or attempt to read.  Yes, I know. . . it would have been more supportive if I’d showered and gone straight to bed.  But I needed to prepare some dinner, eat . . . and allow some time after before sleeping.

This morning. . . I feel terrible.  My whole system is jarred, out of rhythm, harmony and any natural order.  Doesn’t look likely there’ll be any planting on this wonderful Moon day . . . and well, it hasn’t stopped raining for ages!!  It’s at these times I feel disheartened . . . when will it ever get better . . . my faith falters, my ‘knowing’ covered by pain and discomfort.  Why am I writing this and not in bed . . . I will be back in bed soon . . I just felt it might be clearer to me, if I wrote it.  Especially publicly.

Yes . .  I do believe in Healing. . . with all my Heart and Soul.  I know it intuitively, I understand the process.  Surrendering my Body to the process, I was going to say ‘takes courage’ . .  but it doesn’t really . . . it’s not really courageous . . . it’s simply knowing.

As is the case in these strange and nebulous Body issues . . . ‘labels’ are difficult to formulate . . . which I guess is positive, not being a fan of labels.  The Doctors (which I very rarely ever see) label it Post Polio.  I guess this can be helpful, it connects me to the local Community Nursing, which can offer reduced rates for cleaning etc.

Now that’s a major adjustment . . . having someone clean my house . . . I never thought I’d live to see it.  But I am living to a ripe old age . .  by the Grace of the Creator, that is.  Really I’m grateful for whatever I get . . . but I do get the sense there are many years ahead of me yet.  And . .  the only way that can be . . . is if I Heal myself . . . which is exactly what I’ve undertaken.

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I give volumes of thanks to my Ancestors . . . for fine tuning their skills.  So many, have been passed on to me.  For this I am eternally grateful.  Without these ‘gifts’ my self Healing would be that much more difficult.  There are ‘things’ I ‘know’, memories I have . . such beautiful skills I’ve inherited . . . their wisdom I carry . . . I’m forever grateful.  As it’s with these skills. . . that my Healing will be possible.

I am Healing. . . I am Healing . . . I am Healing.  I trust the natural flow . .  I accept the time my Body needs . .  I support her in every moment . . I Love her unconditionally . . . I give her what she needs . . . I whisper wonderful words into her ears . . . I feel her Energy . . . I understand her nature . . . I love her unconditionally.

Healing is happening . . . it’s just some days are more difficult than others.

It’s been a very long . . . Mercury Retrograde . . . more on that later.

lotsa luv . . . and never forget . . just how much you are forever loved

marilynxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

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Healing the Divine Feminine

Athene Marilyn Scott

It’s the second month of my ‘Healing Intensive’.  It’s a, quite, ‘in-the-moment’ Intensive . . .  allowing the natural flow of energy and events voice and discussion.  ‘Healing’ is a fascinating, multi-dimensional activity.

We carry within us the remnants . . . usually in stored emotions and energetic blockages . . . of all we’ve experienced.  Particularly highly charged events . . . such as traumatic experiences . . . result in physical, energetic blockages within the Body.  Some of these may have been established many years before, some in early childhood . . . and some may be carried on from our parents, grandparents . . . and even further.

During this current journey I’ve undertaken . . . I’ve experienced the massive wound to the Feminine.  Without having to rehash all the ‘stuff’ that’s happened to the Feminine . . . over many centuries . . . what I can say, from personal experience . . . is that we carry those wounds within our Body.  These Emotional  memories create physical blockages . . . stopping the natural flow of Energy thru the Body.  Body parts, ie tissues, organs etc begin to die, without fresh Energy flow . . . . what follows is acute and chronic disease.

I’ve never taken on the label of a staunch Feminist . . . Life took me in another direction.  The first real indication I had, was at the stunning Venus Eclipse, mid last year.  That was a very powerful event for me.  I saw Venus rays descend to the Earth, I felt Venus rays on my skin . . . I experienced Venus rays enter my Body . . . this was real and physical.  I’m particularly happy about my strong ‘sense’ during times like these.

As I experienced Venus rays pass thru my skin and enter the internal sphere of my Body . . . I realized something significant.  I knew, without doubt, that I’d lived my life without her, she didn’t reside within my internal world . . . I’d lost the supreme icon of the Divine Feminine.  That was a startling realization.

I traced back to the time that Venus ‘left’ . . . I was very young.  A Girl, a Woman . . . living without Venus . . . seems an oxymoron . . . but alas, I feel it’s more than common.  Venus has been missing from our lives . . .  possibly for ages.  Could it be that she was ousted . . . during the early days of the patriarchy . . . far too much of a threat to remain in the Woman.

Recently . . . well since the last Full Moon . . . my stomach/intestines etc have been in revolt . . . most uncomfortable.  Fortunately, I understand and believe what I do . . . I knew there were deeper issues.  It’s not always so easy to find ‘therapists’ that can actually work harmoniously with what you know and understand.

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My mind was trying to scare me . . . marilyn, I’d say . . . remember, you don’t believe in that!!  I had a pretty good idea what was going on . . . but physically nothing was moving on very fast.  It became difficult to eat . . . I needed some help.  But who to go to . . . always a quandary for me.

Finally yesterday I went to my Naturopath . . . well, she’s not your ‘normal’ naturopath . . . she’s trained and skilled, yes . . . but she’s an old Lemurian like me . . . with old Celtic roots . . . she understands about energy . . . and ‘things’ that can’t be ‘seen’.  She’s a gem.

Yes . . . it was what I thought it was . . .  energetically based.  Now, this does affect the physical . . . my symptoms were incredibly physical.  This issue of the severe wounding to the Feminine runs deep . . . and, I believe, is the basis for a lot of physical issues, especially for women.

With her help, I was able to ‘see’ a deeper issue, I’d not been aware of.  Yes, I knew I had authority, male and power issues . . . my Solar Plexus reminded me of that constantly.  My previous partner often commenting, when he saw me rubbing my tummy . . . . o-oh, something’s happening!

But what I hadn’t ‘seen’ before . . . was myself imprisoned, caged, restricted . . . but what I’d really forgotten was the ultimate power of the Feminine.

Living in the age of the Patriarchy . . . it’s been easier to see the power of the Masculine . . . but more difficult, if at all possible, to see the true power of the Feminine.  I’m grateful for yesterday, for the help I received . . . that there are people around . . who know more that the usual rhetoric.  There is deeper understanding about Life and the Body.  Being aware is the first step . . . trusting ourself is not always easy, sometimes we need the harmonious support of others.

The wound to the Feminine is physical  . . . . and it shows up in the usual places.  We are Women, we need to be aware and be proud . . . of the Power given to us . . . for Life, for Loving . . . for nurturing.  I believe this is what’s happening at present . . . the balancing that’s needed . .  the Healing of the Divine Feminine.  She is the missing piece.  We are all moving toward the Age of the Heart . . . . having been steeply embedded in the Age of Power (Solar Plexus).  This Age was necessary for our evolution as a species . . . but its run it’s course and has peaked!  As we’re well aware.  We’ve all learned about Power manifestation . . . we needed to learn it . . . it’s use and abuse.  We’re currently in the last days of this Age . . . well, may be years . . . it’s as if we had to see the destructive use of Power as well . . . which at present, is happening all around us.

Evolution is movement . . . and we are moving from the Solar Plexus Energy Centre (chakra) to the Heart Energy Centre (chakra) . . . . everything is Energy and is governed by these laws.

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We’ve entered the outer circle of the Heart Energy Centre . . .  here the Divine Feminine resides . . . we are coming into an Age of the Feminine . .  where things will change dramatically.  We’re not quite there yet . . . the crossing over of Ages takes the time it does . . . so we learn the lessons we need to learn.  But if we  keep our focus on that tiny light . . . emanating from the new world awaiting us . . . it will inspire us to continue to Love and Trust . . . to share the Beauty and the nurturing . . . to allow the Divine Feminine . . . to Birth in our very Body . . . . she’s been waiting patiently.   We each need to do this . . . individually.

Lotsa luv

marilynxxxx