In the moment . . .

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Faerie Gully in the flood …

Being in the Moment

Over the New Year period I spent many days down in Faerie Gully … a very special spot, here at Magickal Mahalia … where I live.

The bottom boundary fence had not long been completed … a wish I’d harboured since I’d been here, over 2 years.  I visualised it often!  This boundary fence was incredibly important … on many levels. Having the history … and Astrological signature I do, boundaries have been an ‘issue’ for me.  This fence was important … it secured my space … I gave thanks again and again.

Faerie Gully is pure magick!  There’s even a Faerie Tree … she speaks to me.  I felt like I’d found my place, I felt so at home … I fit right in.  I sat down there every day for two weeks … here was where I welcomed 2013.

Just across from the Faerie Tree is the Dam … the most amazing dam … with water I’ve not seen anywhere.  Most days the black, green water shimmers in the sun, reflects everything around, like a clear sheet of reflective glass… it radiates and sparkles with Life giving Prana … the water, most obviously healing.  The residents of the dam … the Dragonflies … blue striped, brown striped and a fawny tan; the Willy Wagtail, brown and blue … and the slender, red billed black ducks feasting in the rushes … plus all the other daily visitors.  Oh, and the gorgeous turtles. I felt like I was the luckiest girl on Earth … to be given such a place to be, feasting on the most exquisite magickal moments.

One evening I decided to go for a sunset swim … I’d become pretty addicted to swimming in the dam … morning, noon and night!  As I left the house block, unlatched the gate, I turned to watch the Sun begin to set.  I stood there for a while, soaking it in … and of course, capturing the moment on my faithful camera … then turned to walk down the hill to the dam.  This was my first sunset swim … I slid into the water … ahhh, feels so good.  I began my gentle breaststroke along the length of the dam … the dam’s pretty big … my body loves it.  And then it started … the most magickal experience I think I’ve ever had!  First it was the Dragonflies … they began their dance; this way, that way, round and round.  Zooming right over my head, inches away … as I continued to swim slowly along. I felt ecstatic … they were playing with me.  This went on for quite a while, their joy was palpable … they were including me in their play.  I was overcome with joy.

Then there was more … the Willy Wagtails began, it was now dusk but I could see them all clearly.  There must have been dozens of them … they started doing the same thing, only their dancing circles covered a greater space.  They too, flew close, over my head … crisscrossed the dam, flew high flew low.  So many different patterns they created … back and forth, high and low, left to right … round and round, and then down over my head once again.  By this stage I was treading water, my mouth agape, just watching … feeling the most incredible elation … and not quite believing what I was seeing.  They were playing with me … they were welcoming me to their home … they were including me in their play … they were dancing with me.  I will never forget that evening as long as I live.

On New Year’s Day … I tried to do the New Year thing … letting go of the past … planning the future … with pen in hand, journal on my lap … you know how it goes.  But it just wasn’t happening.  At that moment, I realized quite clearly . . . that I just wanted to experience the moment.  ‘Cause, gee … it can be just so super amazing … Dreamtime stuff … really.

We have courage … we have focus … we have Love … we have Beauty … we can do it.

Lotsa luv to you all … and enjoy the year of the Water Snake . . . marilyn xxxx

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dust . . Mars . . . pissed

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another sensational sunset at Mahalia

“Pay attention right now to what is calling for your attention.  As our intentions come from a higher place, all that is not in alignment will feel louder, heavier and harder to bear . .  until confronted.  You can be sure that whatever is feeling loud and heavy to you now . . . is the dust you need to see. . . the dust is in direct response to the intentions you have put out.”  Dana Mrkich

OK. . . so I’ve been feeling anger again  . . . resentment and anger . . . and there’s often a convenient target!

Anger . . . well, first there’s the stored/unexpressed stuff from years before. . . . the times when you were cut-off, cut short . . . and had no say.  And then there’s the current ‘things’ that somehow conveniently spark it off!

Well the early stuff . . . like getting Polio…  I remember a session I had with my Healer/Therapist at the time . . . my Reiki teacher.  We ‘went back’ as I’m sometimes apt to do in those situations, Regression, I think it’s called . . . revisiting old places and situations.  She was trying to connect with me, speak to me . . . I was about 3yrs old, but I was totally pissed off and I didn’t want to know her . . . I wasn’t engaging.  Now this woman was no light weight when it came to these things . . . but no way was I going to let her near me.  I remember she felt quite surprised by the interaction.  Obviously my Mars in Scorpio was in full expression.

Yes, I was totally pissed off getting Polio . . . gone was my fun and games . . . exchanged for the dreaded life surrounded by ghastly hospital walls . . dreadfully harsh sounds, disconnected people, busy, busy, busy . . . emotional starvation. . . . and fear and overwhelm,  there was plenty of that.  And it wasn’t the kids . . . the confusion reigned supreme in the folk who were attending us.  Overwhelm, fear and frustration . . . what a download to begin life with.  But I’m sure there’s a purpose . . . .

They were overwhelmed and fearful ’cause they didn’t really know how to handle the situation . . .  this epidemic . . . that was clear to me . ..  the energy spoke volumes . . . we had to live in it.  Why such early schooling. . . I guess there’s always a reason.

So first I lose my fun and games . . . and then have to contend with this inhospitable place.  Being experimented on . . . isn’t that what they do?  They don’t really know . . . so they keep trying all these things . . . with little regard as to how they may feel.

Yes I felt pissed . . . really pissed.  I was only trying to help. . . and look what happened!  Now self-judgement . . . a world of new learning.

All alone inside myself . . . observing, seeing, feeling helpless.  They know so little, experiments we’ve become. . . I’m little, my voice doesn’t carry any command.  It frustrates me . . . I feel angry.

So yes, up it comes in the present . . .  it’s my anger rising . . . causing all kind of mayhem in my liver.  Yes it’s ignited. .  but  I have no power over anyone else . . . I only have power over myself.  Well . . . there is other stuff/power, but we’ll leave it at that . . . . .

But something has changed since I was 3yrs old marilyn . . . I’m now a grown, mature (???) woman . .  and I do have a voice that can be heard.

My honouring needs to begin with myself . . . my kindness and care . . . my wisdom and knowing.  It’s not what we’re taught, this self-love and respect . . . but something we learn as we walk along the path.  Without ourself . . . nothing, no-one exists.

We’ve come a long way. . . in our understanding of things . . .  these last few years . . . but these need to be experienced as real. . . not just quotes with a nice picture . . . on your FB page.

Let go of the fear . . .it has no place . . . people either accept you as you are . . . or they don’t . . . we don’t win anything  . . . with deceit.

‘Melting the wall of fear’. . . suggested to me from a friend . . . well, fear is only part of it . . . the other . . . a mighty pissed-off-ness.

Angry at them. . . ‘why are they as they are’ . . .why can’t things be different . .  kinder, warmer. . . more love around.  My dear Mum had a Leo Moon, so deliciously warm and gorgeously generous.  She understood me well, I was her first child . . . we shared many traits . . . we came from the same line.  Yes, home wasn’t ideal . .  there were problems there . . . all hidden behind closed doors . . . but people did see.

I went from her warmth and knowing . . . her protection, her love and caring . . . into a very strange world . .  of fear and tension, emotional starvation, coldness, harsh sounds . . . scary experiments…  Yes, I was pissed.

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Little gorgeous marilyn . . . amongst the many gifts she had . . . she had her Mars in Scorpio.  They don’t come much stronger than this . . . Mars, that is.  Both Gandhi and Martin Luther King, both had their Mars in Scorpio . . . among other notable luminaries.

Mars in Scorpio fights to the death . . . a strength of will, not many would dare to approach.  A depth of feeling that feeds powerful desires . . . a dedication to the cause . . . that would keep many breathless.  It’s a powerful Mars, its roots are deep . . . it’s not interested in trivialities, it wants the truth.  It’s power of focus is intense indeed . . . once ignited. . . it sets off energy . . . directly to the target.  It’s very desires begin to create changes in the ethers.  It’s a powerful Mars . . . it works from the deepest primal energy.

The thing with Mars . . . ’cause it’s energy is action and movement. . . whether physical, mental, emotional or metaphysical. . . is when movement is thwarted, stopped in stream. . . it begins to build . . . until it needs some release . . . built up energy releases with a bang!  Yes, Mars is energy . . .raw, undiluted . .  the traditional ruler of Scorpio, the modern ruler of Aries.

We’re all created so beautifully unique . . . and only I . . . like you and you and you . . .can be who I am.

Energy needs to flow . . . . .

lotsa luv

marilynxxx

in the moment. . . .

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I don’t know much . . . except what I hear. . . in the moment…  My knowing comes only in the present.

Like a tightly bound bud. . .  loosening its hold . . .  letting go, surrendering . . . to the next stage of growth.

We’re created to know . . . it’s instinctive, it’s natural . . . like a fog in the valley. . . it rises . . .  all things then are clearer.

We’re so much more than we know . . . understand. . .  or could . . . even imagine…  We’re both Earth and Star matter. . .  with a seed of conscious Divinity.

I’ve seen this seed. . .  it was more like a flame. . .  I saw it inside them. . .  when I first came.

My memory of ‘before’ still present but fading . . . into another world . . . so strange and foreign.

But there was a purpose . . .  a significant focus.

It was all about Love . . .  it always has been…   There is no purpose. . .  higher or greater.

We travelled thru time . . . thru space . . . to be together…  Wherever Love goes . . . we have no choice . . . but to follow.

You see . . . we’re bound in unity . . . in a Love that’s Eternal . . . time and space . . . . is only an illusion.

A Longing so deep . . . so full . . . so complete . . . to be with the Love . . . that created my existence…  An eternal longing lives inside me.

 

marilynxxxx