coming from my strength

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Sent off my article for the January 2013 edition of The Nimbin Good Times yesterday. . .  titled  ‘2013… coming from my strength’ . . . you can read their great paper on their website. . .www.thenimbingoodtimes.com . .. .  takes a few days till new edition is uploaded.  I’ve been thinking, as I’m apt to do, about ‘coming from my strength’ for some days now.  So being on the cusp of 2013 . . . a very strong Full Moon in Cancer today . . . which is bound to stir up some emotion . . . and ‘past’ memories . . . I’m focusing on my strength . . . . my feelings . . . my needs.  We’re not happy chappies when our needs are not being met!!

As humans we’re bound together in the one primordial energy . . . but with Bodies entombed in our own skin and flesh . . . our own memories, our own unique process. . .  and our own path to tread, our own lessons to learn.  Kindness, Love, Compassion and Caring. . .  go a long way in making our journeys a joy to experience, and for some. . . a reason for living.

I love warmth, kindness and caring . . . a warm welcoming spirit helps me feel appreciated.  Getting in touch with my needs . . . once again . . . oh, how easy to forget.  Of course my ‘feelings’ are always around . . . being Kinesthetic, Empathic, Intuitive. . . with a psychic inheritance . . . . etc etc etc . . . my body feels like one big Feeling Machine.   But then I jump to my familiar analytical process . . . to make sense of it all . . . not always a successful route, but it can be helpful if it leads me in the right direction . . . we have a mind/brain for a reason . . . it’s not always the boggy man!

So once again getting in touch with my Needs . . . they are after all . . . the basis of all operations here.  I’m sure this brilliant Full Moon in Cancer is helping heaps.  It’s not always easy for humans to identify their needs . . . we tend to focus more on behaviour, reacting to outcomes.  But there’s always a reason we feel as we do . . . . it’s been a life long lesson, that one, for me.  Our feelings are connected to our needs . . . they’re the messengers, like our emotions (and often they come tied together . . . ‘specially for us girls. . . .).  When our needs are not being met . . . we’re being told . . . we just  need to become more familiar with the language . . . .AND have the courage . . . . to speak UP!

We are worthy. . . to have our needs met . . . well, it’s not really an option . . . it’s a necessity . . . if we want to be healthy, wholesome, functional human beings.  ‘Cause when they’re not . . . all hell breaks loose . . . we definitely then don’t come from our strength.

On the Macro . . . . I see 2013 as the Year of Peace . . .  on the micro . . . I’ll be coming from my strength.  Oh oh . . . that means speaking up!  But. . . . and a big but . . . in the kindest, caring, loving, respecting way.  It’s an expression after all . . .  not a direction.  It’s building . . . not destroying.  It’s acknowledging . . . not denying . . ..  it’s caring . . . it’s coming from my strength.

So when those feelings come up. . .  which they’re bound to over the next couple of days . . . sit for a moment . . . zoom into your internal world go a little deeper . . . descend with loving kindness, gentleness and sacredness.  Ask to be taken to your Chamber of Needs . . . gently respect the environment you’re in . . . you’re the most amazing Being this world has known . . . you’re born from the Sacred . . . you’ve never left, it’s where you reside.  The door to the Chamber of Needs opens slowly . . . a shining, Golden Light immediately envelopes you.  And there you sit . . . in the centre of this brilliance . . . . yes Sacred One . . . your needs are the most natural part of you . . . they are a part of who you are . . . and they need to be fed . . . just as your Body needs this precious Breath.

May 2013 be a year of Strength for you. . . recognising yourself . . . and shining so brightly . . . that only the strong and loving, kind and gentle . . . are attracted to you.  We can only ‘attract’ . . . we cannot pursue . . . .

lots and lots and lots of gorgeous, brilliant Love, Love, Love . . . to you . . . remember, you are precious, precious, precious . . . beyond words.

lotsa luv

marilynxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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it’s a new day . . .

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I feel better than yesterday. . . Body has settled a bit more . . . lots of sleep last night (madam (fury white bundle) in the laundry) . . . it’s raining outside, it’s light . . . no sun yet . . . the birds are serenading . . . . a new day has begun.  The sweet sound of rain falling . . . caressing and nurturing all it touches. . .  the ground drinking and drinking.  Well, it seems to have cleared my Auric field as well . . .

Yesterday wasn’t an easy day . . . in many ways . . . we have those sometimes . . . being human and all.  But boy, am I ever grateful . . . to truly appreciate the fact . . . that I’m alive.  ‘Cause one day I will not be . . . thankfully we don’t know when . . . and I guess we all hope it will be some time long in the future . . . well, the future just becomes shorter and shorter.  But as the future gets shorter and shorter. . . the past becomes longer and longer . . . memories of all those so incredibly special moments . . . that we got to experience living. . . . we are so incredibly fortunate.

Like the sky .  . being more in touch with those ‘subtle impressions’ now . . .  I can feel some water needs releasing from me.  Interesting how these bodies work . . . fascinating really . . . such a miraculous creation.  Being a Miss Virgo with a Capricorn Moon . . .  and Gemini on the Ascendant . . . emotions don’t often get a look in . . . well at least not on the surface.  Far to busy creating magick . . . to allow interference from those pesky irritations.  But as I mentioned yesterday . . . emotions are messengers . . . and it seems us girls have a stronger connection to them too.  I’m really seeing how powerful they are.  And how they need to be listened to . . . and released.  Bottled emotions. . .  not good . . . we need to consider our Body.  Like I said . .  they’re powerful Energy charges . . . super charged at times . . .They are for a reason . .  ’cause they’re trying to get our attention . . . move, move, move . . . they say . . .we need to be familiar with their language.

What I’ve been experiencing. . . since beginning this recent journey . . . 13th day now . . . and I haven’t always been good; is that relationships are our major learning tool.  Now I’m not talking about just the one with the capital R . . . no . . . all connections . . . with everything, human and otherwise . . . is a relationship.  I know I often hesitate using the word. . . ’cause it’s often so loaded . . . often thought to mean . .  romantic relationships etc.  But no . . . it’s every single thing we’ve connected to . .  over our entire life. . . . and it’s these . . . that have shaped our psyche. . . .and our physical structure.

I like to look at cycles . . . the current influence of everything . . . especially the natural world.  It’s always been an interest of mine.  So as I began to focus on this current intention of mine. . . . Healing Myself . . . I looked back over the last few months . . . all the planetary cycles . . . the eclipses etc . . . as they often are . . . they were very revealing.  Yep, I was back on the operating table.  Maybe I haven’t left it these last couple of years . . . . but it became very clear to me . . . the powerful influence of ‘relationship’ . . .My internal structure had been formed by these . . . scary and fascinating at the same time.

I’m reading this good book at present . . . Rewire Your Brain for Love . . . by Marsha Lucas PhD . . . she’s easy to read, has a cute style . . . in amongst all the anatomical descriptions of the brain.  She’s a Neuropsychologist and Psychotherapist . . . with a geeky (her own description) fascination for neuroscience . . . the way the brain is moulded and shaped . .  by our experiences.  . .  our relationships with the world around us.

Well. . . as mentioned often . . .I’m more of an Energy girl . . . it’s pretty fascinating to read what actually happens in the physical/electrical structure . . . but I suppose . . . it’s energy that allows everything to exist . . . everything is energy after all.

So . . . all my bits and pieces inside . . . have been structured and formed by what’s happened in my life so far . . . I can accept that . . .but we’re creators . . . not victims . . . and we have choice . . . intention . . . focus . . . . and Grace.  We can ‘rewire our brains’ . . . as Martha says.

But I guess what I’m seeing. . . is that when there’s a real intention to heal . . . all the ‘underlying’ energy . . . often blocked . . . begins to loosen . . . and rise to the surface.  It needs to be released.  Our bodies have been doing a stirling job . . . restricted as they have been  . . . by all that blocked, diseased, built up energy. . .  my Pranic Healing training here . . .

Yes. . . . it may be all a bit serious . . . for Boxing Day . . . but to be honest, it doesn’t hold much meaning to me.  I’d be the first to celebrate real things . . . but not just ’cause someone tells me too . . . . the little rebel raising her head.

So hope your holiday time is super enjoyable. . . and you get to share real feeling with loved ones and family.  I had my wonderful family time a few weeks ago . . .  still savouring that.  Love really is  . . . .all that matters.

Enjoy every moment. . . you get. . . to breath . . . and appreciate . . . it’s more precious than we’ll ever really understand

lotsa luv. . . .  marilynxxxxxx

before all my wishes for next year . . . first things first

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down in Faerie Gully

 

My journal entry for today (and my first book published next year . . .)

Well. . . . it’s Christmas morning . . . everything around me is the same . . . the ‘natural’ world operating as usual . . . .it’s not a day of significance in their diary.  There are those days thou . . .you can feel the shift . . . the movement of the natural world . . . when something significant occurs.  But man-made (‘scuse politically incorrect) dates just simply go by unnoticed . . .now the day of the Solstice . . . that was different.  I could feel the energy, it was pulsing . . . our great Fire ball in the sky. . . stopped for a moment . . . to change his focus.  Well in the ‘real’ world it’s the Earth that shifts . . . not the Sun . .  but whoever, which one . . . we get to feel it.

I’m incredibly tired today . . . did too much yesterday . .  and didn’t do enough of the things I’d promised.  Big times for me . . . like never before.  I’ve never had this degree of incapacitation before.  Obviously brought about by the fall . .  and then earlier the sprained ankle. . .’they’ say, these things happen.  And not much therapy to counteract the challenges.

Kooka’s think that’s funny . . . or they’re just confirming my awareness.

You see I have this habit. . . of wanting to do things.  It’s how I’ve always been. . . for as long as I remember.  I have a love of Life. . .  a love of creating . . . a love of immersing myself. . .  in the magick.

Went down to the Gully yesterday morning. . . to have a swim in the dam . . .but I see clearly now, that I was already aware of my fatigue.  ‘Cause I hesitated for a moment before going over to the dam, my body just wanting to sit under the tree.  I knew . . . but I overrode my more subtle impressions.  It seems I have to live there now . . . in those subtle impressions.  There will be gifts there of course . . . a new way of living.

Finer and finer and finer . . . it becomes . . . death to the old ways . . . birthing of the new.  Now I reckon we’re all going thru that right now . . . all in different ways . . .unique to us.  It’s like the old way doesn’t work anymore . . . it’s done and dusted.  But only each one of us . . . knows what new way we need to follow.

So into the dam . . . I know I was pushing . . .big, big, big mistake . . . no pushing allowed now.  But I did get to lie down under the Faerie Trees after my swim (8 laps . . . and it’s a big dam . . . am I silly or what!!!) . . protected by the numerous ants in the grass . . . by my beautiful mauve, rayon sarong.  I look up to the sky. . . thru the branches and leaves . . . it’s difficult to describe how magickal it is there, how it feels.  I am incredibly fortunate. . .to be able to experience what I do . . . during these critical times.

‘Cause it seems lots are in crisis . . . including my body. . . the vision of ‘wellness’ so important to hold steady.

‘Leave no room for doubt in your mind’. . .  my dearest, dearest friend reminds me often.  I have been a Doubting Thomas. . .  in fact I gave myself that name.  Amazing things would happen to me . . . and I would start off by saying . . ‘I don’t know whether its my mind or not’.  I’ve travelled many miles since then . . . thank god.  But there’s still areas when this insidious Doubt raises its most unattractive face . . . sometimes I get hoodwinked . . . then I have to untangle myself . . . to get out of its web . . . so sticky it’s tentacles.

Anyway. . . vegie garden in need of attention . . .  didn’t do much . . . but a lot more walking than obviously allocated.  So on my back last night, just into bed . . . my body not happy . . .I’m sorry, I say . . .I’ll take better care of you tomorrow. . . I promise.

You see . . . what I’ve intended . . . I’ve never done before . . .  never, ever . . . in my entire life. . . ‘3 month intensive of resting, healing, nutrition and regenerating’.  Allowing nothing in my life that doesn’t uplift me.  I’ve never been ruthless before . . .but we’re talking about my life now . . . the rules have changed. These times come when we have very few choices.

I decided after a few weeks of quite concerning body symptoms . . . that I was going to heal myself of Post Polio.  Well   . . . as I’ve mentioned before. . . I’m not big on labels . . . and certainly not modern medicine’s analysis of the body.  But they were words that held some relevance . . . but then I added . . .’releasing the blockages . . . created by the energy . . . that birthed the environment . . . in which the ‘virus’ was attracted.

I’m an Energy focused girl . . . it’s always been my ‘thing’. . . much more interested in what lies behind the physical form.  I’ve been this way for as long as I remember . . . I started looking when I was only young . . . looking at symbols . . . and the meanings of certain behaviours.

So I’m Healing myself . . . I think it was the 14th of December I birthed my intention . . . it’s now the 25th . . .I’ve both moved forward and backward.  But I see ‘backward’ movement is just tied to old habits . . . repetitive thoughts . . . ways of doing.  I did say I was a doer . . . well Virgo and Capricorn . . . and both my parents rarely stopped . . . work, work, work . . . keep ourselves distracted from this precious moment called ‘Now’ . . . .god . . . who knows what might manifest!

I believe  . . .  well, I experience . . .that emotions are at the root of most diseases.  Emotions are powerful energy charges . . . they reverberate thru our bodies . . . possibly causing all kinds of carnage.  They’re messengers . . . created in this incredibly sophisticated, simple, intelligent Body . . . they translate our responses to the environment around us . . . . creating our very cellular structure.

They can become distorted . . . when certain emotions carry that extra charge . . . memories in the body . . . from times before.  But overall they’re not too far off the mark . . . they tell us how we’re feeling about what’s going on.  So we get to move our body away from harm.

So not much movement today for me . . . . I’m Healing . . . I’m Healing . . . I’m Healing myself.

marilynxxxxxxx

It’s the 25th December 2012

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Well it’s Christmas Day . . . feels like any other.  It’s 5.25am . . . I’m outside with the morning. . . drinking Chai.. . . . with Soy and honey of course.  I got to sleep in till 4.45am . . . well, her Highness didn’t get in last night till 1am . . . and of course, guess who had to get up and let her in!!

So instead of 3.45am . . .  my white fury, affectionate buddy nuzzling into my face . . . . it was an hour later. . . . that must have been her Christmas gift to me.  I’m thankful for small mercies . . . . .

It’s light. . . Sun not visible yet . . . it’s cool, deliciously cool.  So fresh and new . . . it’s a brand new day.

I’m celebrating being alive . . . having a body. . . that works, well, most of the time.  A mind that can create all sorts of wonderful things.  A Heart that beats . . . synchronized with The Love.  Ears that can hear . . . the magickal chirping of the birds.  Skin that can sense . . . the slightest change in the air . . . Emotions that alert me to where I’ve wandered.

A deep fascination . . . for everything living.

As I sit on my weathered grey, uncovered deck . . . I join with Life . . . our Energies mingle.  She moves into me .  . I go willingly to her . . . like a child, a fascination that never seems to dim.

The grass so green . . . after all the rain gifts.  Air sparkles with enthusiasm . . . and delightful vigour.  Manifest Life moves along so gently . . . following the script that they were given.

What is our Script?  Us human beings. . . . living in a world of multiple choices.

A Genie’s Lamp . . . we think we have . . . . rub, rub, rub . . . look, I’ve fulfilled my desire.  But what is the desire that tugs at our core . . . the longing, the attraction, the need . . .  for more.

It’s Christmas Day. . . . whatever that means.  Life seems beyond such petty labels.  But we humans love to believe . . . in something miraculous . . . Joy and Love . . . Giving and Receiving.

All is the same in my world today . . . . Life is celebrating . . . and I am alive to witness it . . . the greatest Gift . . . .THANK YOU!!

May your every moment be Joyous . . . filled to the brim . . . with the Divine Essence.

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Last night here . . . . .

Lotsa Luv. . . .  marilynxxxxxxx

Back again . . .

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The last post Nov 12th . . . Saturn had begun his journey thru Scorpio . . .  and the Scorpio Eclipse was just around the corner.  A lot’s happened during then and now . . . and as always . . . it involved my body, which of course always includes . . . my mental/emotional/psychic . . . and all the ‘experience’ that contributes.  We have many layers.  My beautiful Moon in the 8th house . . .”a NEED to understand the cycles of Life and the metaphysical nature of the world”. . . .yes.   More about that later . . . it’s just good to be back to writing my blog.

But Today . . . . . yesterday we experienced the most magnificent rain gifts . . . this morning everything so vibrant with Life Energy . . . . renewed, refreshed and ready for new growth. . . no such thing as a coincidence . . .

the air so clear

fresh

and new

the sounds of Life

the ’empty’ space

creates Life anew

the fullness

the emptiness

the ending

the beginning

the being

the experiencing

the acceptance

the filling

the Love

the Caring

the Honouring

the acceptance

the absorbing

the releasing

the understanding

the magick

Life . . . . once again . . .renewed. . .  for living . . . and being . . . . .THANK YOU

 

Wet grass

and my feet

meet

such enjoyment

feels so good

garden sparkles

Prana plentiful

birds singing

Life exquisite

the Giver . . . . unimaginable

‘Just receive

my precious girl

this is all for you

to cherish’

 

marilynxxxxx