‘The Heart of the City’. . . .done in memory of my dearest Mum
Boy. . .haven’t even begun to type. . .but approaching this chapter has brought up many body symptoms. . ..my belly is tight, anxiety present, so too my chest. . .now my throat is restricting. Need to breathe deeply. . .slowly. . .one by one. . .you are safe marilyn. . .you are here and now. . .no one can hurt you. . . .anymore. Tears are beginning to well behind my eyes, my chest so sore, my throat so raw. . . .the Body, a magnificence beyond duplication. . . .everything exist there. . .I just need the right password. . .to enter her world of past, present and future.
So gently I’ll go. . .step by step. . .what feels safe. . .what feels protected. A lot is happening. Who would have thought, just by beginning to write. . . it all comes alive. . . . the body communicating its memories.
Such a need for gentleness with myself. . .a life full of memories stored in my cells. . .yes, I’ve been getting help to release these gently. . . .but only I can experience my Body. . .she is the Goddess of the Sacred Chamber of my ‘gatherings’.
Yes I’ve been a Gatherer. . . collected much on my journey. . .stored it all away. . .away from my awareness. . .poked down, hidden away. . .now I don’t see it. . . .ah no, no, no. . . .it’s all still alive there. Gentleness, gentleness, kindness and caring. . .all these needed to approach this chamber. And as I begin to love and care, show unlimited kindness to myself. . .then surprise, surprise. . .it all floods in from others.
So gently, gently I’ll begin this second chapter. . . .my dear Mum’s high-powered vision caught something quickly. The saddest thing about my dearest Mother, is she never really understood all her magickal powers. . . they could have helped her. . .to transform the victim. And maybe that’s why ‘they’ won’t allow me to do the same. . .mind you it’s taken some time. . .I’m now 63. . . better late than never, I always say. . .with a Capricorn Moon I’m a bit of a late bloomer.
I did all the classes in ‘Practical’ in my early years. . .must have asked to ‘experience everything for myself’. . . .ask and it will be given. . .yes it works that way. . . .did I say I’m ALL 7’s (numerologically). . .yes ALL 7’s. . .well say no more!
So I’ve already written a lot and I haven’t begun, but it needs to be real, here and now. . .so I accept all that needs to be expressed.
Mum picked me up and off we went. . .Camperdown Children’s Hospital, yes I remember it. ( The tightness in my chest is increasing as I write. . .slowly, slowly, just do what feels good.)
Usually when I’ve recalled this story. . .I found it quite humorous. . .my dear Mother and the Doctors locking heads in a battle. But it needs to be told here, with respect to my Body.
In fact I may need to leave it here. . .till later. . . .my Body really doesn’t want to go there just yet. . .
So Camperdown Children’s Hospital will need to wait until tomorrow
healing, love, magick and unlimited blessings
oodles of love